Bob Day Quotes Page 1 of 4

Quote from Parents

Bob Day: You know, it doesn't take a genius. All you got to do is follow the money.
Nick: Always follow the money. That's what I always say. You always follow the money.
Bob Day: Yeah, yeah.
Nick: Oil companies.
Bob Day: Pharmaceuticals.
Bob Day: Big business, chicken corporations.
Both: Corn.

Rate

Quote from San Diego

Jess: What about Priscilla?
Bob Day: What?
Jess: What? Come on.
Bob Day: No. No. I'm an old man. She doesn't want an old man. Look. I've got a Band-Aid on my hand. Not on the finger, the hand. That is an old-man thing.

Quote from San Diego

Jess: Look, we're not in the same boat, okay? I can't move on. I love him.
Bob Day: Nick? What do you see in him? I mean, he looks like the only white waiter at a Chinese restaurant.

Quote from Winston's Birthday

Jess: Oh, my God. I have the chance to teach kids again.
Bob Day: You got to go.
Jess: Oh... Dad, you should come with me.
Nick: Yes, you should go with your daughter!
Bob Day: What am I gonna do, sit in your car and get mugged? I mean, I didn't gay my way out of Vietnam just to be killed by some punk. No, no. No, I'll stay with him.

Quote from Winston's Birthday

Nick: This girl really means a lot to me, Bob. And I just don't want to screw it up.
Bob Day: Why would you screw it up?
Nick: I don't want to make excuses, but my dad was kind of a... a piece of... You know, truth be told, Bob, I'm afraid I'm a lot like him.
Bob Day: The mere fact that you just said that means that you're nothing like your old man. Any girl would be lucky to have a guy like you.
Nick: You mean that?
Bob Day: Yes, I do.
Nick: Think I'm gonna say something that might make you real happy. That little girl I was talking about, Yolanda? Her name isn't Yolanda. It's Jess. She's your daughter.
Bob Day: I'll kill you! [Nick screams] You're dead! You're dead!

Quote from San Diego

Bob Day: Priscilla, come here. Come here, I want you to meet my daughter, Jessica. Remember? I told you about her. She's the one that doesn't play tennis.
Priscilla: Oh, the teacher from Hollywood. [Jess laughs]
Bob Day: Well, two rum raisin sundaes and whatever my daughter wants. [Priscilla and Bob laugh]
Priscilla: You.
Bob Day: [laughs] [quietly to Jess] Her husband fell down a spiral staircase.
Jess: What?
Bob Day: He kept falling, falling, continually falling. It was awful. He didn't die. But when he found out that he had become a viral sensation... he killed himself.

Quote from The Curse of the Pirate Bride

Bob Day: I'm very proud of you, son. I heard you fought like a coward for my daughter today.

Quote from Parents

Bob Day: No, no, no, no, it was my mistake, it's my mistake. I'll wait five hours and come back when Joan's shift is up.
Joan Day: [o.s.] Bob, just stay. What if we need something ruined?
Jess: Mom!
Bob Day: It's all right, I'll spend my holiday at a Los Angeles coffee shop...
Jess: No...
Bob Day: sitting around with people who have nothing better to do on Thanksgiving than work on their screenplay. I probably won't want to blow my head off.

Quote from Parents

Bob Day: Seems like every time they want to move a team to Los Angeles, the team that's most likely to move here, the owner Al Davis...
Nick: Dead.
Bob Day: And then they talk to the, to the Ravens and their owner Art Modell...
Nick: dead.
Bob Day: Dead. You know what I mean? Who- Who's going to speak out for us, I mean, the voice of the NFL ... Steve Sabol? Dead.
Nick: Also dead.

Quote from Winston's Birthday

Bob Day: Jess, why are you picking him? He's a lazy, drunken cable thief. Wh-What's wrong with Wilson?
Jess: Dad, there's nothing wrong with Nick. You don't even know him.
Bob Day: I do know him. I know him. When I was young, I was confused, I was lost, I had no plan. But I went ahead and got married anyway. And if I had figured things out before I got married, I might still be with your mother. So I do know you. You're not your father. You're me. And I'm not good enough for my little girl.

Quote from Oregon

Bob Day: Ooh, before I forget, best man. The wedding rings. Hey, I want you to meet a bunch of relatives that are all going to be dead in a couple of years.
Jess: Oh, good idea.

Quote from Misery

Bob Day: You've been great to me. You've taken care of me. Now I'm gonna do something for you. I'm gonna get you a ticket. Oh, here it is. Portland to L.A.
Jess: Dad, I am not leaving you like this. Recovery is the most vulnerable part of the process, and this house is full of stairs and sharp corners. And you know how slippery your bathtub is.
Bob Day: I won't stand up! I'll just roll out!

Next Page