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‘Socalyalcon VI’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

New Girl: Socalyalcon VI

619. Socalyalcon VI

Aired March 14, 2017

As Jess helps Nick prepare for a book convention, she realizes she's acting more like his girlfriend than his friend. Meanwhile, Schmidt and Cece struggle to keep their friends out when they finally move in to their house.

Quote from Nick

Nick: And I read that authors should all have a strong look, so I found four authors with strong looks, and I combined them. Tom Wolfe: white suit. Hunter S. Thompson: yellow sunglasses. David Foster Wallace: bandana. Toni Morrison: The Presidential Medal of Freedom.


Quote from Winston

Winston: Well, here's one from deep in the storage unit. Way in the back. I once got my foot stuck in a go-kart. And I had to...
Aly: Hop six laps alongside of it.
Winston: I've been kicked out of multiple focus groups for... for crying too much.
Aly: That happened yesterday, and I was with you.
Winston: I fell asleep in study hall. Had a very loud sex dream.
Aly: That happened to my family member, and I relayed the story to you.
Winston: I fell asleep in a bathtub.
Aly: Knew that.
Winston: And I once dislocated my thumb getting off a couch.
Aly: Okay, you got five more minutes on that hippo, and then we switch.

Quote from Cece

Jess: None of that's girlfriend stuff. That's all good friend stuff.
Cece: Okay, let me, uh, toss out a hypothetical to you, okay? Nick has a piece of lint on his sleeve. Do you go, "Hey, bud, you got some lint on your sleeve"? Or do you pick it off?
Jess: I don't see how that's relevant.
Cece: Yes, you do. Because you are a rabid watcher of The Crown.
Jess: I watch a lot of shows.
Cece: And so therefore, you know... that picking lint off of a man's sleeve... is the most intimate gesture.

Quote from Aly

Winston: Whoa.
Aly: I taught English in Japan for a couple years after college and... I fell in with a bad crowd. It was a time in my life I'm not proud of. I fell in with... with a Japanese game show crowd.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Money is no object. That's why we rented a custom van, and even got space radio.
Reagan: Satellite radio.
Nick: No, space radio, the one that connects to everything in the air.
Reagan: There's a satellite.
Nick: What, the satellite's in the ground?
Reagan: No, the satellite is in the air.
Nick: Right. Space. Yeah.
Reagan: In the air. Satellite radio.

Quote from Schmidt

Cece: So I really want to ask what's in the box, but, uh, it'll ignite a whole Se7en thing.
Schmidt: "What's in the box? What's in the box?"
Winston: "Repeat, John Doe has the upper hand."
Jess: I have got to see this movie. You guys make it sound so hilarious.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: At the risk of sounding cliché, should we have sex in the bedroom?
Cece: I think that's a great idea. [chuckles] [clattering] [gasps, shrieks]
Schmidt: The hell was that?! Are you the criminals?! From the statistics?!

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: Jeremy.
Jeremy: On behalf of the neighborhood, may I be the first to say, welcome, sir.
Schmidt: "A Guide to Your New Neighborhood by Jeremy." I didn't know you lived nearby.
Jeremy: I don't. But I will someday. Just as I will do everything that you have done.
Schmidt: [grunts] That's the tone that we talked about, Jeremy. No, thank you.
Jeremy: I can't wait to have a servants' entrance.
Schmidt: Let's not call it that.
Jeremy: Two points of entry. Very well done, sir.
Schmidt: Cece, I just thought of another reason why houses are better than apartments. Now we can enjoy two points of entry!
Cece: [o.s.] No, thanks!
Schmidt: I'm talking about the doors. I-I didn't mean...

Quote from Winston

Schmidt: Ooh. Jess, thank you. This is perfect. Cece and I are completely moved into Jaipur Aviv. So tonight, we'll be doing it for the first time on our first night in our first house.
Winston: And I'm going to Aly's tonight. Yeah. Gonna be doing it for the 10,000th time on our 1,000th night in her... 100th apartment?
Jess: You think Aly's lived in 100 apartments?
Winston: I hadn't, I hadn't crunched the numbers on it.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Well, that's perfect, Jess.
Jess: Well, it was easy. You have very few clothing items in your closet. Also, are those your tax returns? And why are you drying beef?
Nick: Because I don't have a file cabinet, and because I couldn't eat all the meat in one night. Now...
Jess: That's gross.
Nick: How do I look?
Jess: What you need is a navy blazer. Do you have a navy blazer or just the pit boss special?
Nick: What kind of a man owns multiple blazers? [snickers]

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