Phil: Luke?
Andy: Nope. I accidentally took your pen. I didn't want to go plan my wedding with something so big weighing on my mind.
Phil: Andy, I am really sorry. I didn't mean for you to hear that.
Andy: Do not worry. No big dip!
Phil: Really?
Andy: Sure! It's actually kind of funny, you know? 'Cause how crazy is life? I was all, "Should I propose to Beth? I have feelings for someone else." Meantime, I was talking about Haley. Haley apparently had feelings for me, and I had no clue! How could you not laugh at something like that, right? [laughs]

Haley: Andy, don't you think that there is a chance that you have been eating because you regret getting engaged to Beth?
Andy: Why would I do that? Beth is amazing.
Haley: Beth is a psycho who tried to light my hair on fire.
Andy: Meanwhile, Dylan is in the backyard trying to make a plate out of sticks.

Haley: Hey, um, real quick. Why wasn't it more uncomfortable for you to watch that movie?
Andy: Right. Because zombies killed my parents.
Haley: Oh, never mind. I forgot you can't have an adult conversation.

Andy: Mr. Dunphy? Is that you? Haley?
Haley: Andy, wh- Uh, what are you doing here?
Andy: Setting up for an open house tomorrow. What are you d- Splish, splash, who was taking a bath?!

Andy: Oh! Oh, my god.
Haley: Relax, I'm okay.
Andy: No. Isn't this the tub from the Lil Wayne video?

Andy: I put our clothes in the dryer. I made an executive decision, went with the Irish Mountain dryer sheets.
Haley: What does an Irish Mountain smell like?
Andy: We'll find out in [Irish accent] 30, 35 minutes.
Haley: Hey, uh, don't tell my dad I was here, okay?
Andy: I suppose I could do you that wee favor.
Haley: Do me a second favor-
Andy: [normal voice] Yeah, I don't love it, either.

Andy: But for what it's worth, Beth and I are not perfect. Things come up when you plan a wedding.
Haley: Really? There's such a thing as Mormon drama?
Andy: There was when Beth's uncle found out we're serving coffee at the reception.

Haley: Oh, god, is that my dad?
Andy: [Irish accent] 'Tis a fine kettle of fish we're in!

Haley: My family cannot find out about us.
Andy: I'm certainly not gonna tell them. I still have their respect.
Jay: Andy, chop-chop. Joe's making his bathroom face.

Tom: Hey, I know you! Coachella, dancing on top of my van.
Haley: No, I just have one of those faces that-
Tom: It's Haley, right?
Andy: Haley, would you like to introduce us?
Haley: Um, okay. Andy, my boyfriend, this is-
Tom: Tom.
Haley: Tom.
Andy: TomTom. Is that Cherokee?