Claire: Haley has a job interview?
Andy: That's where she is right now.
Phil: With who?
Andy: Gavin Sinclair. The big-time stylist to the stars? He's the one that slapped Katie Couric.
Claire: Wow.
Phil: Oh.

Andy: Victorian. Modern. Craftsman. Spanish. European Gothic?
Phil: Andy, it's the castle from "Frozen." I'm sorry, but you're not ready.
Andy: What?
Phil: To hear that you're ready! Congratulations, assistant! I'm moving you up to the next level.
Andy: Holy cow. That was an emotional thrill ride.

Phil: This Sunday, you are manning the open house of the Cape Cod on Linden. That means you're gonna be sticking the sign and the balloons on the corner, you're gonna be turning on all the lights, you're gonna be baking all the brownies.
Andy: I will make you proud, sir.
Phil: What else are you gonna do?
Andy: I will make sure people sign in.
Phil: What else?
Andy: When I show someone the master bedroom, I'll say, "This is where the magic happens."
Phil: I'm sold!

Andy: Not me. I never turned down an offer to hang with my dad. Luckily for him, he died before my rebellious teenage years.

Andy: [aside to camera] I was seeing Haley for the first time since she came to visit me in the hospital. She said some pretty heavy stuff. She didn't know I heard. I tried for a couple weeks to forget about it and just go on with Beth but I couldn't stop thinking about Haley. So, today's the day I'm finally gonna have the big talk.

Andy: There's a cooler of drinks out back! Help yourselves! Hey. Where's Haley? Is she coming?
Alex: The last time Haley informed me of her plans, she said "Ha, ha. I'm going to Cabo, and you're not."
Andy: [chuckling] She's the best.

Haley: How you feeling?
Andy: Better. Turns out you don't even need an appendix. I don't even miss it anymore. It's like Circuit City.

Haley: What's with the robe, Hef?
Andy: I don't know who that is but I took off my shirt to protect it from Splash Gordon over here.

Andy: Wow. This looks bad. And this looks even worse. But there's a perfectly good explanation.
Will: Hey, babe. You spill something on your dress?
Andy: Really? That was your first guess?
Haley: Yeah, I was giving Andy a juice box.
Andy: Mm. Not to drink because I'm a man.

Will: I've been watching the two of you, and it's pretty obvious.
Andy: Finally.
Will: You know how to make her laugh. Anyway, I got Haley a little gift, and I want to write something cute on the card. I thought you could help me, because-
Andy: Because you're not good with words.
Will: Well, I'm a doctor. I can't admit I'm not good at something. But please?
Andy: Yeah. Fine. Just write how you feel. Something like "Dear Haley, I know how eyes work but I never knew how they sparkled until I-"
Will: That could be macular degeneration.
Andy: Just write.