Haley: Did you drink that while it was still on fire?
Andy: It's an old habit. It's how I used to eat my marshmallows.

Andy: Gambling is the best! You hand your hard-earned money to strangers and pray it comes back.

Luke: [whistling]
Andy: Someone woke up in a good mood. And there is only one reason a teenage boy is ever like that.
Phil: Yep, because it's Family Camp training day!
Andy: Oh, I was gonna say, "The Harlem Globetrotters must be in town." Luke and I are training for the big Famcathlon. You're, uh, carb-loading. Good idea, buddy!
Andy: Hungry dude.
Phil: Hungry for Family Camp!

Andy: What are the odds the valet slid the seat back because of my weirdly short arms?

Haley: Wow, this is more reading than I did in my three years at a two-year college.
Andy: I'm thinking chili dog, just like Pops - may he rest in peace - bought me at my first baseball game. May I be frank? We have a wiener.
Haley: Oh, that's so weirdly sweet. And it's so cute how your hair never moves. It's like a LEGO.