Ed: Are you ready to go on with the ceremony?
Rebecca: No. Not yet. I need to work a few things out. I- I need somebody to talk to. Anybody. I- I- I really need some help! [closes the door]
[As everyone looks around, Paul shrugs his shoulders and decides to go to Rebecca]
Rebecca: Not Paul!
Paul: I can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped.

Woody: Sorry, Mr. Krapence. We can't get into the office or the storeroom because Miss Howe locked herself in since she decided not to marry Mr. Colcord.
Carla: She's still in there. She's still in the gown. She won't talk to anybody. Doesn't move. Doesn't eat.
Paul: Gee, that's awful. I really wanted a martini.

Cliff: Well, that, uh, Paul, in a nutshell, is the history of Western civilization. You were right to come to me.
Paul: I didn't come to you, Cliff. I was, uh, waiting to use the phone.
Carla: Go on, Cliff. I'm listening. I'm interested in Western civilization.
Paul: You all right, Carla?
Carla: Beat it, lard butt!
Paul: Thank God. I thought I was hallucinating.

Cliff: Hey, everybody.
Paul: Welcome back. May I inquire as to exactly where the hell you've been?
Norm: Vera?
Paul: You know, I'm sick of the way you guys treat me. You waltz off God knows where, and you leave me here with nobody - and I mean nobody - to talk to.
Phil: Hey, I love you, too, Paul.

Sam: Uh, forgot to tell you, fellas, that, uh, I was working on that TV earlier, trying to get the color just right for the game, and, uh, damnedest thing, it- it blew. It blew as well as the big screen there. Uh, I guess we're just not meant to see this game, huh, fellas?
Paul: It's okay, Sammy. We can, uh, see it on my little Watchman.
Sam: Where did that thing come from, Paul?
Paul: I take it with me everywhere. You know, you can, uh, run it on batteries, or I plug it in the, uh, cigarette lighter in my car.
Frasier: Paul, you watch TV in the car?
Paul: I don't like to miss my stories.

Sam: Hey, this has been driving me crazy. I gotta know something here, Paul.
Paul: What, Sam?
Sam: Well, I'll try to put this as delicately as I can, because you're my friend and I like you, and I don't want to insult you, but why would any girl be caught dead with you when she could be with me?
Paul: You thought that would offend me?
Sam: I'm serious. I mean, what'd you do, slip her a mickey or something?
Paul: Well, since you asked me so nicely, Sam, I'll tell you. Paula is what we like to refer to as a chubby-chaser.
Sam: You're kidding. You mean, she likes to go out with guys who are... Who are, uh...
Paul: Portly, Sam. The word is "portly."

Paul: Another beer, Sam. Uh, put it on my tab.
Sam: Actually, Paul, we don't run tabs here.
Paul: What do you mean you don't run tabs here? Norm Peterson has a tab the size of his pants.
Sam: Well, that's, that's Norm.
Paul: Well, this is Paul.
Sam: Come on, Norm doesn't have much in life, except Cheers.
Paul: What about me? I'm unemployed. I don't like my wife.
Sam: You're putting me in a tough spot here.
Paul: I'm sorry, Sam, I really want a tab.

Paul: Hey, Rebecca?
Rebecca: Yes?
Paul: Rumor has it you've, uh, slept with every guy in the bar.
Rebecca: What?
Paul: So, uh, how come you haven't done the wild thing with old Paul, huh? [Rebecca goes into her office] I never get included in anything.

Woody: Hi, Mr. Krapence.
Paul: Hiya, Woody. Where's, uh, Norm and Cliff?
Woody: Uh, I guess they're at work. I don't know.
Paul: You got a cute sense of humor, Woody. I like that.

Cliff: Yeah, we were just talking, uh... We'd like to, you know, apologize for, you know, leaving you out of things and, well, you know, that kind of stuff.
Norm: Yeah. You know, after all, you've only been coming here, what, you know, a few weeks?
Paul: Ten years. I've been coming here ten years.
Norm: Whatever. Whatever.
Cliff: Anyway, uh... We just feel like we want to... Oh, thanks, Woody. Just feel like we want to make it up to you.
Norm: What we're going to do, Paul, we're going to buy you a free beer.
Cliff: Yeah! Woody, right to the brim for Uncle Paul, huh?
Norm: There you go.
Paul: Wow. I... I can't believe this, you know? Thanks, guys. It's a really nice thing to do. Really made me feel special.
Cliff: Don't mention it, Paul.
Norm: Yep.
Paul: You guys ate my cake, didn't you?
Cliff: Yes, we did, Paul.