Lilith: Where is my husband, anyway?
Paul: Oh, uh, some of the guys went to do something, and he went along.
Lilith: I suppose if they all went to jump off a cliff he'd do that, too.
Paul: I didn't think of that, but it probably would have worked.

Rebecca: You know, you guys, if we're going to have a piano player that's this great, we shouldn't hide him up there in the corner. I think we should move the piano down here and put it against this wall. If you help me move it, I'll give each of you a free beer.
Norm: Oh, great. I mean, I suppose you think we're... we're like a couple of trained dogs. Every time you want us to do something, you'll waggle a free beer under our face.
Paul: Uh-uh.
Norm: We have some self-respect. We have a little dignity. Am I right, Paul?
Paul: Mm-hmm. If I do it by myself, can I have both beers?
Rebecca: Sure.
Norm: Way to go, fathead. I was working her for a pitcher.

Rebecca: All right, you evil thing. What do you want?
Carla: [chortling] Let's see, what do you think would be fair?
Paul: Say, uh, Carla, we're supposed to be Rebecca's friends. Now, I could just as easily say, "Rebecca, I'm gonna tell Sam unless you sleep with me."
Rebecca: Exactly!
Paul: So, will you?
Lilith: Paul. She forgot to renew a liquor license. She didn't burn down an orphanage.

Rebecca: [yawns] Oh, boy. I am so glad this night is almost over. I am just wiped out.
Paul: You know, Rebecca, you've been through a lot tonight. I was thinking maybe I took advantage of you when I asked you out. Ever since my wife left me, I've been sort of desperate for female companionship, you know. I always say the wrong thing. So what it boils down to is this... If, if, if you'd rather not go out with me, I'd understand.
Rebecca: That's sweet, Paul. I'd be delighted to go out with you tonight.
Paul: Bring your toothbrush. [Rebecca groans]

Paul: So, Rebecca, you're having a makeover, huh?
Rebecca: Yes.
Paul: You know, uh, I don't understand. I mean, if there was ever a person who didn't need a makeover, it's you. I think you're perfect just the way you are.
Rebecca: Oh, well, thank you, Paul.
Paul: Boobs, too, or just the face?
Rebecca: Just the face.
Paul: Eh.

Paul: Say, uh, Rebecca, uh, can I give it a try?
Rebecca: Go ahead, Paul. It's obviously empty.
Paul: [bell ringing, coins clanging] Hey, hey. Wow. Nine nickels. Hey, I wonder, if those chicks over there saw me win, huh?
Rebecca: Yeah, Paul. I'm sure the lack of that 45 cents is what kept you out of that menage.

Frasier: I can't believe I'm hearing this! If you really think Cliff is capable of murdering his mother, why do you remain his friends?
Paul: He's my ride.

Carla: Presto.
Paul: Wow, that's a nifty gismo for cracking locks, Carla. Where'd you get it?
Carla: My kid made it in Shop for Mothers' Day.
Norm: I don't feel right, breaking into Cliff's place like this.
Carla: Yeah, well, we've got to do it now while he's out driving. It's the only way we're gonna find out what happened to his mother.
Paul: Yeah, besides, it's kind of exciting, isn't it? You know, I always used to dream of being a sophisticated, international jewel thief, leaping catlike from balcony to balcony.

Carla: We've got to see if we can find any trace of that poor woman. Look at this place, give me the creeps. Look, Paul, go see what's in there, okay?
Paul: Oh, it's just a head.
Carla: [gasps] Oh!
Norm: Oh, relax. It's another word for "bathroom." It's an old navy term.
Carla: You were in the navy?
Paul: Mess cook. That dream came true.

Carla: Well, go snoop around in there. See if you can find any intimate, feminine stuff.
Paul: Aye-aye. [o.s.] There's a jar of bubble bath.
Norm: Oh, no, that's Cliff's. Uh, he uses it because he thinks it keeps dogs from biting him on his route.
Paul: Biting him on his what?
Carla: When he's out delivering mail, doofus.