Carla: That was Ann Marie's teacher. Said she's gonna have to hold her back.
Diane: Oh, that's too bad, Carla.
Coach: Oh, don't worry about it, Carla. It's just as bad to skip a grade.
Carla: You skipped a grade, Coach?
Coach: I skipped four. High school, I think they called it.

Coach: I'm knocking off, Sam. Home to my book.
Sam: Still working on that novel, huh, Coach?
Coach: Yeah, coming on six years now. I just got a feeling I might finish it tonight.
Diane: You're writing a novel?
Coach: No, reading one.

Sam: Okay, well, I got to skedaddle. I got a funeral waiting for me.
Coach: Don't we all?

Coach: Boy, am I exhausted.
Norm: Not much sleep, huh?
Coach: No, Normie, I slept like a baby. It's just that I dreamed I had insomnia all night.
Cliff: You know, someday that man's head is gonna open up and a prize will pop out.

Coach: You know, Sam, I got to tell you. I can't see Diane going off with Doc like that. I always figured that you and her would get married, you know?
Sam: No, come on, Coach.
Coach: No, no, I'm not kidding. I pictured you moving to a little home in the country with a rose garden out in the front and a nice little room in the back for me. You know, every Sunday night Diane would make us a fried chicken dinner and we'd sit on the porch and listen to the ball game. I'd bounce your kids on my knee... God, it was going to be a happy house.
Sam: Well, I guess that's going to be Frasier's house now, Coach.
Coach: Well, you can come by any time, Sam. But call first.

Diane: You know, it took a great deal of courage for Norman to do what he did. I admire and envy him. He has heeded Thoreau who admonished us that, quote, "Life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify."
Coach: Why didn't he just say one 'simplify'?

Sam: Coach, I'm just taking geography. It's the last thing I have to complete so I can get my diploma.
Coach: Well, Sam, it would only be a start for me, you know. As a matter of fact, as I remember it now, I was very good in geography.
Sam: Really?
Coach: Yeah. Or was it geometry? Diane, give me a question in geometry.
Diane: What is the sum of the angles in an isosceles triangle?
Coach: It was geography.

Cliff: All right, look, I'll call and see what the penalty is, but it's got to be anonymous.
Coach: OK, everybody in favor of Cliff calling, raise your hand. [all hands go up] It's anonymous. Not even an extension.

Carla: You know, Coach, every night you walk out of here and forget your keys. Have you got them this time?
Coach: It's OK, Carla. I got it all figured out. I left them in the car.
Carla: Aren't you afraid somebody's gonna steal it?
Coach: I locked the doors.
Carla: How are you going to get in without your keys?
Coach: I made a duplicate set.
Carla: Well, where are they, Coach?
Coach: Holy mackerel! Sam. [Sam hands him his keys] Carla, we've really got to make a scramble. Looks like rain. Come on. I left the windows open.

Coach: Diane, if you're looking for a place to stay, there's a lovely little inn up in Vermont that my wife and I used to drive to all the time.
Diane: What inn?
Coach: In my station wagon.