Alissa: Tommy, you should just write what you feel.
Tommy: I don't know what I feel. What do you feel?
Alissa: Well... I feel like this is a new beginning. It's time to say good-bye to old friends, make new ones. It's the end of an era, and no matter how close we've become, it's time to move on.
Sally: Man, that's harsh.
Alissa: Sorry, but whether we like it or not, this chapter of our lives is over. I gotta go.
Tommy: See you later. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go read some Churchill for inspiration.
Harry: Oh, really?
Tommy: Nah. I'm gonna go get some fries.

Tommy: Come on, Dick! You can't run away. Just stand up to the guy. He's just your father.
Dick: Yeah, but fathers are supposed to be looked up to and revered. Plus, I don't want him to give me the belt.
Tommy: What planet have you been living on for the last five years? Kids here don't revere their parents. They disrespect the hell out of them!
Dick: Are you sure?
Tommy: Yes. Trust me. This is my area. I know about disrespecting fathers.
Dick: That's right. You always make me feel like crap.
Tommy: See that?
Dick: Oh gee, thanks, Tommy. I don't know what I'd do without you. I probably don't say this often enough, but I love you, son.
Tommy: Shut up.
Dick: Jeez, you are good!

Tommy: Thank you. Principal Greschner, faculty, honored guests, lunch ladies, weird old guy in the raincoat... What does it mean to be valedictorian? For many, being first in one's class is a distinction that defines their futures. But for me... it means squat because I don't have a girlfriend.
Alissa: Oh, my god.
Tommy: That's right, Alissa. Being first in my class pales in comparison to being first in your heart. So... what I'll remember most about my high school experience is our time together. Our long walks after school, doing homework in the coffee house, that day in the park when it rained.
Alissa: Oh, Tommy.
Tommy: And, um... I think I'll remember most that time that we fooled around on your parents' bed when they were out of town. Alissa, please take me back.
Alissa: Go to hell!
Tommy: Long live rock! [cheers and applause]

Tommy: I just came home to change shirts.
Sally: Cool.
[Tommy and Harry remove their shirts and swap]
Tommy: See, I figured out what was wrong with our relationship. She wants a man. She sees me as an immature doofus, you know. But I ask you this... Would an immature doofus rent this?
Sally: If I Were You, I'd Get Out Of That House In A Hurry III. What gives?
Tommy: What do you mean? We watch that, she gets really scared, wants a big, strong man to protect her.
Harry: Yeah!
Tommy: It's all gonna go fine. I know it is. Or else I'll just move to plan B.
Sally: What's plan B?
Tommy: Flowers. But sometimes even they don't cheer me up.

Sally: No, Harry, he's talking about college.
Tommy: College? No, I've had enough of classes and schedules. I'm gonna do my own thing. It's time to go out on the road, where life is a question mark, where you...
Sally and Tommy: "Make no promises--"
Sally: "follow no plans and careen across the nation plucking experiences like grapes off the vine."
Tommy: Yeah, well, I can't be original yet. But I'm sure that Kerouac was pretty boring before he went out on the road. And that's what I'm gonna do: follow my wanderlust.

Harry: Well, what are you gonna do?
Tommy: I'm too organized. I'm too driven. I need to learn how to be irresponsible. I need to go to a place where my potential won't shine through and I can just veg out.
Harry: Does such a place exist?
Tommy: Yeah, it does. I'm going to college.

Dick: So you got our note?
Tommy: Your note? No, I just come to this parallel dimension all the time. Mostly mid-week. You know, the theater prices are cheaper, and you miss the bridge and tunnel crowds.

Dick: I can't believe how quickly Mary warmed to me. It's so easy to talk to her. So easy to ask her out. She's much easier here than in Rutherford.
Tommy: If that's possible.
Harry: I see what you did there.
Sally: You are the professional funnyman!

Dick: Tommy! Tommy! If I were a bad teacher, don't you think there would be some slight evidence suggesting that?
Tommy: Your students have been in the same class for years?
Dick: Well, so? You've been in high school for years.
Tommy: Yeah, but each year I advanced to the next grade.
Dick: That was high school. This is Pendelton.
Tommy: Pendelton serves fish sticks. My high school served fish... sticks.
Dick: I told you about the fish sticks in confidence.

Sally: What the hell happened to this place?
Tommy: A revolution.
Harry: Tommy, did you see who did this?
Tommy: It was me! I wanna live in a place where I can be an individual, where I can express myself freely and pursue my own happiness.
Sally: You're gonna give up America for that?
Tommy: Don't you see? This isn't equality, this is conformity. The grand dream is dead.
Harry: Sally, I know that you've got some history with this fella.
Sally: What, me? No.
Harry: Then prove it. Take him out.
Tommy: Fine! Go ahead! Strike me down! But there are many more like me who will stand up to you, who will pick up the burning torch of freedom and hold it high in my place! And it's not a question of if or when someone picks up that torch, it's a question of who!
Harry: I will! I will pick up that torch.
Tommy: Sally, are you with us?
Sally: I will kill you both in your sleep!