Dick: Vicki, you remember my true love, Dr. Mary Albright?
Vicki Dubcek: Oh, yes.
Mary: Nice to see you again, Vicki.
Vicki Dubcek: Oh, yes, ma'am, it's nice to see you, too. Doctor. [chuckles] You know, I have this little pain in my lower back-
Mary: Oh, Vicki, I'm not that kind of doctor. I'm a doctor of anthropology.
Vicki Dubcek: What is that? Is that, like, the rear?

Vicki Dubcek: Well, I think we can all learn a lot from what's just happened here. This feud ends now.
Dick: That's easier said than done.
Vicki Dubcek: Mama, you fix their bathroom. Dick, you pay your rent. See?
Dick: Wow. You've been thinking about this a lot.
Vicki Dubcek: You know, I do like to think of myself as the female Golda Meir.

Vicki Dubcek: Um, doc-... Dr. Albright it would mean a great deal to me if you would deliver my child into this world.
Mary: What?
Vicki Dubcek: Well, you're the only doctor I trust.
Mary: Oh, Vicki, I- I'm not that kind of doctor.
Vicki Dubcek: Oh. I see. Just because I do not have insurance means I'm not a human being.

Vicki Dubcek: So, Dr. Albright, how are things treatin' you at the hospital? I'll bet those HMOs are just makin' you crazy, huh? [chuckles]
Mary: I'm not that kind of doctor, Vicki.
Vicki Dubcek: So, you mean, like, you're, like, a veterinarian, or what?

Sally: So, you mean to tell me you really didn't know what you were doing the first time?
Vicki Dubcek: Oh, please. I didn't know what I was doing. He didn't know what he was doing. The bus kept making all those stops.
Sally: Yeah, but you figured it out. Obviously.
Vicki Dubcek: Yeah, it was awkward at first. But, you know, once we got that seat to ourselves. It got better.

Vicki Dubcek: Harry's gone! Harry's gone! Harry's gone!
Sally: We know! Shut up!
Vicki Dubcek: My Big Giant Head is gone.
Tommy: Huh? What?
Dick: Why did you say that?
Vicki Dubcek: That was one of our little bedroom characters. Incoming message, baby.

Vicki Dubcek: Okay, I've made an appointment with the psychic. She's gonna tell us where Harry is.
Sally: Great. Let's go.
Tommy: Wait, wait. Now, if she's so psychic, why doesn't she just use her powers to win the lottery or something?
Vicki Dubcek: Because psychics are not in it for the money, Tommy. They are here to help people. See, that's why they stay on the line as long as you need them.

Vicki Dubcek: Hey, hon, what are you looking at? Oh, my God! You're going to your prom?
Alissa: Yeah. What's wrong?
Vicki Dubcek: Well, it's just- See, I never- I never got to go to my prom. It was supposed to be the most beautiful night of my life. Just me and Freddy Steckel.
Harry: Hmm. Like in your tattoo?
Vicki Dubcek: But something terrible happened that night. Freddy never made it to my house. As he was getting into his car in his driveway... his wife caught him and made him come back inside.
Alissa: That's sad.
Vicki Dubcek: I still have my pretty prom dress in my closet. Sure, now it's old... faded... stained with my tears. Do you wanna see it?

Vicki Dubcek: Okay, Tommy. Now, the thing about a cummerbund is that not only is it a nice accent to your ensemble, but you can also hide your stash in it.
Tommy: I'm not hiding a stash in it.
Vicki Dubcek: Oh. Well, you know, that's a good idea. You ought to hold it. They never search the girl.
Alissa: That's just great. I was worried about that, too. I'm leaving.
Vicki Dubcek: [laughs] She is the sweetest thing. You be good to her, Tommy. This is the most important night of her life.
Tommy: What about her wedding?
Vicki Dubcek: Ah! Weddings come and go. But a girl only has one junior prom. Of course some girls have none.
Harry: Hello, Vicki.
Vicki Dubcek: Excuse me. Tommy, did you hear anything? 'Cause I most certainly did not!

Vicki Dubcek: All right, now, this here is a picture of a piece of cheese, but in French it's [non-French accent] Fromage. Fromage. It's in French.
Harry: Hello, Vicki.
Vicki Dubcek: Oh, hey, Harry. Hey, I was just teachin' little Eric some French.
Harry: Do you know how to say in French "I love you, and I should never have let you out of my life"?
Vicki Dubcek: No, but I know how to say, "boot."