Tommy: Thank you. Principal Greschner, faculty, honored guests, lunch ladies, weird old guy in the raincoat... What does it mean to be valedictorian? For many, being first in one's class is a distinction that defines their futures. But for me... it means squat because I don't have a girlfriend.
Alissa: Oh, my god.
Tommy: That's right, Alissa. Being first in my class pales in comparison to being first in your heart. So... what I'll remember most about my high school experience is our time together. Our long walks after school, doing homework in the coffee house, that day in the park when it rained.
Alissa: Oh, Tommy.
Tommy: And, um... I think I'll remember most that time that we fooled around on your parents' bed when they were out of town. Alissa, please take me back.
Alissa: Go to hell!
Tommy: Long live rock! [cheers and applause]