Judith: Men - can't live with them... Good night, Mary.

Judith: We will now deliberate and return with a guilty verdict.

Judith: Face facts, Mary. Dick Solomon fits the classic profile of a serial killer.
Mary: A serial killer?
Judith: Moody, high forehead, lives in an old lady's attic. Only one piece of the puzzle missing: your head in a box.

Judith: Dr. Solomon, I'm Judith. I'm going to be sharing this office with you.
Dick: Judith.
Judith: This is my assistant. My brother, Roger.
Dick: Roger.
Roger: Please don't shake my hand. I've just washed it.
Judith: Two rules. When I do not wish to be disturbed, I will place my nameplate face down on my desk. And in the morning, whoever arrives first will flip on the ionizer.
Dick: You know, the woman who was previously in this office had no trouble with the level of ionization.
Judith: Believe me, you will like me. Most people do.

Judith: Roger says you must never leave these on his desk again.
Dick: Hmm. Whatever.
Judith: "One of these days I am going to get organizized." [laughs] That's marvelous!
Dick: It's moronic! Now be quiet.

Judith: Mary, these are the dullest people I've ever met. They make my mother look like Rip Taylor. Gentlemen, if you'll excuse me. I have to go wake up.

Judith: After reviewing all the testimony, the disciplinary committee unanimously votes to admonish Dr. Solomon.
Dick: What does that mean?
Judith: You're officially admonished.
Dick: Does that come with a pay cut?
Judith: No. However, if there's another violation, you will be censured.
Dick: Does that come with a pay cut?
Judith: No, but should that fail to stop you, you will be sanctioned, which means a 30-day suspension.
Dick: With pay?
Judith: Yes, with pay.
Dick: That sounds good. Could I be sanctioned right now?
Judith: No. We're adjourned.

Pitman: Okay. And... action.
Mary: [tony British accent] Hello. I'm Dr. Mary Albright, and I'm proud to be a member-
Pitman: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's with the accent?
Mary: [normal voice] Why does everybody keep asking me that?
Judith: The Lady Albright hath no accent.

Dick: You're wrong.
Judith: I'm right.
Dick: You're wrong.
Judith: I'm not wrong.
Dick: You're wrong about that, too.
Judith: There's no way to observe a society without intruding. One can't help but leave footprints.
Dick: Well, of course not. I've seen your bipedal gait.
Judith: So let me get this straight. You're saying that you could drop right out of the sky into some strange culture and walk amongst them unnoticed?
Dick: Yes! Hypothetically.
Judith: Mary, you're an anthropologist. Back me up.
Mary: Oh, I'm afraid I'd have to agree with Dr. Solomon.
Judith: Of course. What was I thinking? You're sleeping with him.

Dick: Good morning, ladies. Hey, Judith, did those fries come with soup?
Judith: I'd sue him if I knew what he was talking about.
Dick: Oow!