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Season 6, Episode 3 - Aired November 14, 2000

Dick and Sally spend a double-date praising Mary and Don's performance in the bedroom. Meanwhile, inspired by Jack Kerouac, Tommy hits the road to see America.

Quote from Harry

Harry: Well, I'm going with ya. Because I, too, have a wanderlust inspired by a different book.
Tommy: You do?
Harry: Indeed. And one day far from here, you and I will point our fingers at that bespectacled man with the sock hat and proudly say, "There's Waldo!"
Tommy: Harry, Waldo's a fictional character.
Harry: Ah, then it will be that much sweeter... when we find him.


Quote from Nina

Mary: Nina, what are you looking for?
Nina: It's Wednesday, and Dr. Solomon get's all bent out of shape if the angry eyes aren't in his Mr. Potato Man.
Mary: You shouldn't have to do things like that for Dick. That's degrading.
Nina: And it's not degrading to go out with him?
Dick: [enters] Nina, it's Wednesday. Where are the angry eyes? [Nina glares at Dick] Oh, there they are.

Quote from Dick

Dick: Hey, hey, how about that movie?
Sally: Oh, I know! That couple had so much passion for each other. That's how my Donny makes me feel when he looks into me eyes.
Don: Aww.
Mary: I dunno, I thought a few of those love scenes were a little gratuitous.
Dick: Mary, I'm surprised you're so prudish. Especially since she's such a hellcat between the sheets.
Mary: Dick!
Dick: No, it's true. What Mary does to my back with her nails is art.
Mary: Oh, stop it.
Dick: "Stop it?" "Stop it?" That's something you'll never hear her say under the sheets.

Quote from Sally

Sally: Wait, wait, hold on, not to take anything away from you all, right, but my guy's no slouch in the sack, either. Now remember, Don's a public servant. He stays 'til the job gets done.
Don: Sally, please.
Dick: Hey, hey, hey, Donny.
Sally: You know, until I met Don, I had no idea you could get a cramp in your boobs. Oh, you can.

Quote from Harry

Sally: Hey, Tommy, you know, I meant to ask you, now that you have graduated, I guess your mission as a high-schooler is pretty much over, huh?
Tommy: Yeah, that's true. On to the next phase.
Harry: Aw, menopause.

Quote from Dick

Dick: Well, Mary likes to chase me around the bed wearing nothing but a tribal fertility mask and a small square of burlap. Guess where? Not there.

Quote from Dick

Dick: I'm taking Mary to the 6:00 showing.
Sally: Hey, Don and I are going to the 6:00.
Dick: Well, maybe we should join you.
Sally: Oh, that would be great. Does Mary have to come?
Dick: Of course she does, Sally. She's my girlfriend. She's paying.

Quote from Tommy

Sally: No, Harry, he's talking about college.
Tommy: College? No, I've had enough of classes and schedules. I'm gonna do my own thing. It's time to go out on the road, where life is a question mark, where you...
Sally and Tommy: "Make no promises--"
Sally: "follow no plans and careen across the nation plucking experiences like grapes off the vine."
Tommy: Yeah, well, I can't be original yet. But I'm sure that Kerouac was pretty boring before he went out on the road. And that's what I'm gonna do: follow my wanderlust.

Quote from Dick

Dick: Oh, Mary, would you like to go to the movies tonight, just you and me?
Mary: That sounds like fun.
Dick: And Don and Sally?
Mary: That sounds like less fun.
Dick: Oh, come on, Mary, come with us. And bring your big purse, 'cause I'm poppin' corn for four.
Mary: All right. But don't bring that walker. I'm not gonna try and get you a senior citizen discount again.
Dick: All right. If your dignity is worth $2 to you, then fine.

Quote from Mary

Sally: [laughing] That was good. Oh, I gotta tell ya, Albright, going out with you and Dick was not quite the spike in the forehead I thought it was gonna be.
Don: And to pay for all our movie tickets, that was just above and beyond.
Mary: Oh, well, Dick convinced me that was the thing to do when he grabbed my credit card and paid for everybody.
Dick: Oh, that reminds me, Mary, I'll be needing that card back sometime after dessert.

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