Adult Adam: [v.o.] As my Cocoon plan went kerplunk, my mom was still in the deep end of her legal battle.
Beverly: Look at us burning the midnight oil, noshing on chow mein, just like real lawyers.
Erica: It's 9:30 in the morning. No one wants Chinese food.
Murray: Speak for yourself.

Beverly: Damn it! You two were at my signing party. Was there anything out of the ordinary?
Murray: Having a signing party is out of the ordinary. Who does that?
Beverly: Maybe your wife, who's proud of her accomplishment. And you should be, too.
Murray: It's all coming back to me. You did the thing. I was there. Memories. It's all up in the treasure chest.
Beverly: My signing gala was the talk of the block. There was champagne, balloons. I made that cheesy burger casserole in the shape of my book.
Murray: It's the only book I've ever finished.
Erica: Wait, Dad, didn't Mom ask you to take pictures that day?
Murray: Nope.
Beverly: I did! Ohh! Here's the camera. Oh, there's no film in it.
Murray: [chuckles] Memories.

Erica: Mr. Goldberg, isn't it true that you were asked to take pictures at your wife's signing party?
Murray: That's what people are saying.
Erica: And isn't it also true that you're a forgetful loaf who's never sure of what he has or hasn't done?
Murray: I can say with full confidence that I'm a, you know...
Erica: And do you recognize this?
Murray: Oh, that's one of those photo things!
Erica: Indeed, it is. And this one has your name on it.
Beverly: Are those the pictures from my signing party?
Murray: Hey, it is. Here's a pic of your cheesy casserole.
Erica: But, perhaps, can I direct you to the last photo?
Murray: Oh! Will you look at that? Somebody's a hero.

Bill Lewis: You know what you two need? A hot tub. [Dolores gasps] We've got one of those sizzling soakers, and she's the best.
Dolores: It's true. We connect just sitting there.
Beverly: Sitting? That's Murray's favorite thing.
Murray: I-I'm gonna pass on the hot tub.
Beverly: Why not?
Murray: What do I need a hot tub for? Who am I, Hugh Hefner?
Adam: I think even the casual observer would say no.

Beverly: I don't even know why I try. Let's just play Pictionary.
Bill Lewis: Hey, that sounds fun.
Murray: Wait, wait, that's tonight?
Beverly: I told you we were having a lovely evening with friends.
Bill Lewis: This is my big night out. I even put on my shirt with buttons that go all the way down.
Murray: How's about you guys draw over there, and I'll watch TV over here?
Beverly: Turn that TV off.
Murray: What? We're all here together. We got you, me, Bill, Dolores, Cagney, and Lacey.
Adam: And us, for some reason.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] While Barry was failing to lead the JTP, my dad was leading my mom to the basement.
Murray: All right, take the mask off. [Beverly gasps] Welcome to the rest of your life.
Beverly: There's a hot tub. In my basement?
Murray: And check it out. There's clouds-and-sky wallpaper to transport you to the great outdoors.
Beverly: Makes me wonder why you didn't just put it outdoors.
Murray: Then what would I do with the wallpaper?
Beverly: You know what, Murray? Thank you. Thank you. I knew you wanted to connect with me, too.
Murray: Well, bon appétit, or whatever it is people say when they first get into a hot tub.

Beverly: Oh, it's like I'm on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. [chuckles] Oh, Murray, I've never felt closer to you. [Murray is sitting on the couch] Murray, what are you doing over there? Get in.
Murray: I'm good.
Beverly: But the whole point of having a hot tub is to enjoy it together.
Murray: Ah, this is living.

Adam: Just to hit the fast-forward, maybe a love note would do the trick.
Murray: I get hand cramps and don't want to. What else you got?
Bill Lewis: How about a moonlit stroll?
Murray: Well, I do go out at night to the mailbox. Uh, she's more than welcome to follow me. But that is really my only alone time, so I say no.
Adam: Oh, my God. You are so bad at this.
Murray: Because these ideas are terrible.
Bill Lewis: Look, buddy, it's normal. Things get tired. Happens to everybody.
Adam: But here's the good news. Your laziness as a husband is so profound that even the smallest gesture is gonna make a big difference to Mom.
Murray: A small gesture? That's just slightly more than I already do. I can do that.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Again, my dad came up short. But then, instead of following everyone else's advice, he followed his heart.
Murray: [claps] Naps.
Vic: Naps? What are you talking about?
Murray: When Barry and Erica went off to college, I missed them terribly.
Vic: I didn't know that, Murray.
Murray: Yeah. And whenever I felt really bad, I'd go take a nap in one of their rooms.
Vic: Really?
Murray: I don't know if it was picturing them or the memories, but when I woke up, felt great.

Murray: There he is. I got something I want to give you before you hit the gridiron.
Barry: More hiking knowledge, Coach Dad?
Murray: Better than that. My old butt towel.
Barry: I don't know what to say. Mostly 'cause I don't understand what that is.
Murray: I used to wear this when I played, to wipe off the ball before I snapped it, and I want you to have it.
Barry: I'd be honored to wipe a ball with the towel that's been on your butt.
Murray: Don't make a father giving his son his butt towel weird.