Quote from Papa's Got a Brand New Excuse
Will: Hey, you know what, you ain't got to do nothing, Uncle Phil. You know, it ain't like I'm still 5 years old, you know. It ain't like I'm going to be sitting up every night asking my mom: "When's Daddy coming home?" You know, who needs him? He wasn't there to teach me how to shoot my first basket, but I learned, didn't I? And I got pretty good at it too, didn't I, Uncle Phil?
Philip: Yeah, you did.
Will: Got through my first date without him, right? I learned how to drive. I learned how to shave. I learned how to fight without him. I had 14 great birthdays without him. He never even sent me a damn card. To hell with him! I didn't need him then and I don't need him now.
Will: No, you know what, Uncle Phil? I'm gonna get through college without him. I'm gonna get a great job without him. I'm going to marry me a beautiful honey, and I'm gonna have me a whole bunch of kids and I'm gonna be a better father than he ever was. And I sure as hell don't need him for that, because there ain't a damn thing he could ever teach me about how to love my kids. How come he don't want me, man?
Quote from The Philadelphia Story
Will: What am I supposed to do about my rep?
Chill: Yo, you got to stand up to Omar Boulware, man.
Carlton: Who's Omar Boulware?
Chill: Some guy Will wouldn't fight.
Will: The dude that be spinning me over his head in the opening credits.
Quote from Boys in the Woods
Will: Uncle Phil, I'm telling you, I think we should just pull into a gas station.
Philip: Will, for the last time, I don't need directions. [car splutters]
Will: You're right. You need gas.
Philip: Okay, I made a wrong turn. It's no big deal, it's not the end of the world. We'll just... We'll thumb a ride to the nearest gas station. We used to do it a lot in the '60s.
Will: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Uncle Phil, can you take a stroll into the '90s, please? We are three Black men on the side of a mountain road. The only people that's going to stop is going to have on sheets and saying stuff like, "Get them, Jim Bob."
Quote from Will Goes a Courtin
Judge: Mr. Smith.
Will: Thank you. Your Honor, I'm from West Philadelphia, born and raised. On the playground is where I spent most of my days. I don't have a big bag of fancy courtroom tricks. Or a high-priced degree from Princeton like my worthy adversary, Judge Philip Banks. But what I do have is the truth!
Philip: Oh, shut up, Will! Your Honor, Mr. Smith is making a mockery of the entire legal system.
Will: And this man is making a mockery of a finely cut Italian suit.
Judge: Order in the court.
Quote from Father Knows Best
Miss Sharpe: Well, will Mrs. Banks be joining us?
Will: Uh, no, I'm single. I mean, um, Ashley's mother ran out on us. Ashley was but a mere tyke at the time. I had to be both Mommy and Daddy. We went from training wheels to training bras. They both came off too soon, didn't they, kitten?
Quote from I, Done (Part 2)
Carlton: So, Will, you haven't told me about your new place.
Will: Oh. Yeah, yeah. Uh, you know, I'm moving in soon. You know, right now they putting a Jacuzzi in and they getting the mirrors on the roof.
Carlton: So what, it's kind of a fixer-upper?
Will: Oh, no, no. No, not at all, man. Yo, this place is huge. I mean, we got floor-to-ceiling walls and wall-to-wall floors. Man, yo, it's the bomb.
Quote from How I Spent My Summer Vacation
Vivian: This is my nephew, Will. Uh, and this is his hair.
Norma: It's a pleasure to meet you both.
Whitey: Call me Whitey.
Will: Oh, no, no, no. I'm gonna call you that then you gonna call me the other thing, and we're gonna be here fighting.
Philip: Will, Whitey is the president of a very prestigious savings and loan.
Will: Oh, really? Guess a lot of your buddies wearing suits like this now, huh?
Quote from Hex and the Single Guy
Will: Oh, boy, I love this. Halloween, the only night a Black man can walk around in this neighborhood with a mask on and not get arrested.
Quote from Robbing the Banks
Philip: After we gave you a second chance, this is how you repay us.
Luther: I did not rob you.
Philip: Oh.. You gotta believe me. Will, you believe me, right?
Will: You know, it's people like you that give ex-cons a bad name. I- I'm calling the police, man. [A cop knocks on the door] Damn, that was fast! Yo, they must have thought we was White folks.
Quote from As the Will Turns
Will: Can we get back to moi, please? I got a part on that soap opera, Now and Forever.
Philip: Oh, please. They hired you, somebody who's never acted in his life, to star in a network TV show. Pppt.
Will: Well, it happens.