Vivian: Sweetie, would you say grace, please?
Ashley: Yes, Mommy. [clears throat] ''Hey, there, Lord My name is Ashley Banks My family and friends Want to give you some thanks So before this dinner's All swallowed and chewed Thank you, God, for this stupid food''

Will: You know, you should try rapping. When you're rapping, you mess up the words and make up some new ones right there on the spot. So let's try this. I'll sing one line, you make up a line to rhyme it.
Ashley: Okay.
Will: All right. Let's see. ''You didn't get into Miss Berkley's chorus''...
Ashley: [silent] I'm thinking, all right?
Will: That's all right. We got all day.
Ashley: Okay, I've got it.
Will: Here we go. ''You didn't get into Miss Berkley's chorus''
Ashley: ''I'd like to hit her in the head with Roget's Thesaurus''
Will: Yeah. ''Don't need no choir when you're a rapper''
Ashley: ''Gonna hunt Miss Berkley down and zap her''
Will: ''Got this whole town of Bel-Air buzzing''
Ashley: ''Get a load of me and my rapping cousin''

Susan: Mr. Banks, you're best known as the lawyer who won the landmark housing discrimination case Winston vs. Jones, but our readers want to know about Philip Banks the man.
Philip: Ah, well, I really don't like to blow my own horn. [clears throat]
Hilary: Growing up on the mean streets of Baltimore, Maryland, Philip Banks overcame great obstacles to win a scholarship to Princeton University in 1963.
Carlton: You know, Hilary, Princeton was the turning point in Philip Banks' life. It was then that he developed an interest in law and distinguished himself as a fine student earning himself a place at Harvard Law School.
Ashley: That's right, Carlton. But did you know that Philip Banks, in addition to becoming a partner of the prestigious law firm of Furth, Wynn, and Meyer remained active in the field of civil rights culminating in his crowning achievement in 1975 when he was elected to the board of the ASPCA.
Susan: ASPCA?
Carlton: I think Ashley means NAACP.
Ashley: Sorry, Daddy.

Ashley: [sings] Hey, what you want Baby, I got it What you need Do you know I got it? All I'm askin' Is for a little respect when you come home Hey daddy When I home Oh, yeah I ain't gonna do you wrong while I'm gone
Ain't gonna do you wrong 'cause I don't wanna All I'm askin' Is for a little respect when I get home Oh, daddy
When I get home Yeah I'm about to give you all of my money And all I'm askin' in return, honey Is daddy give me my profits When I get home Oh, now When I get home All right R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me R-E-S-P-E-C-T Why can't you just trust me?
Carlton: Sock it to me, sock it to me Sock it to me, sock it to me
Ashley: A little respect

Ashley: Carlton, why are you wearing a suit? Is Daddy bringing home White people?

Philip: Well, sweetie, how does it feel to be almost 12?
Ashley: Dad, as you get older, birthdays have less and less significance. You know, I really stopped counting at 10.

Ashley: I was so sure looking like this would make me popular. [Ashley pulls a tissue out of her bra as she begins to cry] I mean, what do guys want, anyway?
Will: Ashley, look, guys want a girl who's sweet and kind and smart. Just like you.
Ashley: Kenny wanted the girl with back.
Will: Ashley, look, Kenny's a special case.
Ashley: Carlton wanted the same girl.
Will: Well, see, Carlton's a basket case.
Ashley: What about all the boys in the hall yesterday?
Will: See, Ashley-
Ashley: And all the guys in the beer commercials?
Will: Look, Ashley-
Ashley: And all the guys who ask Hilary out.

Ashley: [laughs] I knew she wouldn't show. I don't blame her. I'd whip her bootie. I'd wax her tail. I'd kick her heinie. [Paula walks up behind Ashley and taps her on the shoulder] Oh, hi, Paula. Nice shoes.
Paula: Are you ready?
Ashley: Okay, but it's only fair I warn you. I'm gonna hit you so hard your grandpa's gonna be great in another area code... or something. Back up! Back up! [turns around] Mind your business, that's all. Just mind your business.

Geoffrey: Something wrong, Miss Ashley?
Ashley: No. Everything's fine. [sighs]
Geoffrey: Spill it.
Ashley: Be honest. We're playing with cookies because you think I'm a kid, right?
Geoffrey: Well, yes.
Ashley: I'm 13! If these were the Middle Ages, I'd already be married and own a pair of oxen. I'm an adult. A young adult.
Geoffrey: I'll get my wallet.
Ashley: I'll get my Smurf bank.

Ashley: I'm really glad you're living here, Will.
Will: Thanks, Ash.
Ashley: You're like the big brother I never had.
Will: Well, what are you talking about? You got Carl- Oh, you're right. I see your point.