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‘The Philadelphia Story’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: The Philadelphia Story

426. The Philadelphia Story

Aired May 23, 1994

When Will and the Banks family stay with Vy (Vernee Watson) in Philadelphia, Will realizes his reputation has taken a hit since he left.

Quote from Will

Will: What am I supposed to do about my rep?
Chill: Yo, you got to stand up to Omar Boulware, man.
Word: Word.
Carlton: Who's Omar Boulware?
Chill: Some guy Will wouldn't fight.
Will: The dude that be spinning me over his head in the opening credits.

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Quote from Will

Vy: Come on, y'all come right on in. Make yourself at home.
Will: Oh, there it is, y'all. Hey, check it out. My TV chair. Uh, I spent 10 years customizing this thing to my boogie. Now, I don't want none of y'all sitting in it and stretching out my sweet spot. Y'all know who you are.
Philip: Don't make me kill you in your mother's home.

Quote from Will

Will: Hey, Carlton, come here, man. Listen, I need your help, man. I gotta go into training. I'm gonna kick Omar's butt. Come on.
Carlton: Wait a minute. I thought you said this is one-on-one. What do you need me for?
Will: Well, if I win, I need a witness. If I lose, you're my blood type.

Quote from Will

Vy: Hold it, hold it, hold it. I'm putting both of you right out here on the convertible couch. And Ashley and Hilary will be with me. Philip and Vivian will have your room.
Will: Hey, Mom, listen, you should probably make sure that Uncle Phil sleeps on the bottom bunk. Because if he get up on the top bunk... Well, you know gravity ain't no joke. You know what I'm saying? He could end up in China.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: [on the phone] Geoffrey, I will never live down the shame of a domestic vacation. Look, go to Rodeo Drive, buy a bunch of stuff send it to someone you know in England and have him mail it to all my friends.

Quote from Will

Will: Hey, hey, hey, y'all ready to hit the City of Sisterly Love?
Carlton: Uh, don't you mean "Brotherly Love"?
Will: Take my word on this one, Carlton.
Carlton: It doesn't matter how you sugar coat it, Will this vacation has all the earmarks of stinking.
Ashley: Well, I'm looking forward to it.
Will: Yeah, me too. Come on, Carlton. This is Philadelphia in the springtime. Man, there's people all over the place. There's guys playing stickball. Girls in the street playing double dutch.
Carlton: No country club reciprocity.

Quote from Hilary

Vy: Well, what do you guys think?
Vivian: Vy, you have really perked this place up. Hasn't she, Hilary?
Hilary: Um... Yeah. I mean it's so... poor. [Vivian elbows Hilary] Ow.

Quote from Carlton

Will: Hey, my bedroom is exactly how I left it. I even found my What's Happening! Home game.
Carlton: What's Happening! or What's Happening Now?
Will: What's Happening!
Carlton: Neato! I get to be Rerun.
Will: Hey, listen, go find yourself a beret, and I'm gonna go get my stuff unpacked.

Quote from Vy

Vy: Good, but don't bother unpacking now, because we got to get to the ballpark. Teddy Pendergrass is singing the national anthem.
Will: Oh, yeah, Phillies in the house!
Philip: You know, Vy, we're all a little jet-lagged.
Vy: Oh. Well, I know Will wants to go.
Will: Yeah, take the sub right to Broad and Patterson.
Vy: You know it.
Will: Hey, I'll tell you what. I'll race you to the station. Loser's got to pay the fare.
Vy: You're on. But wait a minute. Tie your shoes first. [Vy runs as Will sits down to tie his laces]
Will: You're cheating. You're cheating. My mama cheating. Come here!

Quote from Will

Will: Here it is, y'all, best hoagie spot in the whole city. They got the kind of food here that sticks to your ribs. And your feet.
Hilary: What do you have to tip the maitre d' to get a good stool?
Duke: Unless you're here to stick up the joint, sit down and eat.
Carlton: Take a tip, buddy, you won't get anywhere in the service industry treating customers like that.
Duke: Hey, why don't you take your Bing Crosby butt over to the golden arches and lie down in front of a drive-through window.
Will: [laughs] Ain't he great?

Quote from Will

Dick Clark: Duke, give me a chicken sandwich to go, will you?
Duke: Sure thing, Mr. Clark. One Will Smith.
Carlton: Will Smith?
Duke: Yeah, we named it after this guy who got into a little scrape across the street. Only instead of fighting, he ran clear across the country to California. He was a chicken to go. [laughs]
Hilary: What a coincidence, his name is Will Smith.
Duke: You're kidding... Wait a second. Yeah, a little taller. The ears were a little bigger, but it is you! My man! All right!
Will: Listen, it's me, but I didn't exactly run.
Duke: Hey, look. Hey, Mr. Clark, we got another celebrity over here. Say hello to Chicken Will. Come on, my man, strut your stuff.
Dick Clark: Hey, it's got a good beat, and you can run to it.
Will: Not you too, Dick. [runs out]
Duke: Hey, there he goes, he's running again. Hey! Hey, where you going? California's the other way! [bawks]

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: All right, you hooligans, disperse. Stop taunting my cousin just because he ran away from a fight.
Will: Look, stumpy, I did not run. I just... I just went to visit y'all for four years. Look, this is Chill, Soup, Steve, Word.
Chill: What's up, stumpy?
Will: Why won't you go upstairs if you gotta use the bathroom.
Carlton: Hey, mister, there's nothing worse than dirty Dockers.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Gee, this playground makes the other one look like Club Med.
Carlton: Come on, what are you trying to prove?
Will: Look, man, you don't understand about reputations. I mean, they can follow you around like a bad smell. Maybe you do understand.
Carlton: I do know one thing, Will. A bad smell isn't worth a mouthful of bloody Chicklets.

Quote from Will

Will: Okay, well, you're so stupid, you thought a quarterback was a refund. How about that? Hey, how about you so ugly, when you was born the doctor just slapped both your parents. And your mom... Oh, my goodness! She is like a doorknob, everybody gets a turn! [they all turn back] I guess the mom's the red button.
Okay, come on, let's go. Let's go.
Omar: Look here, man. I know what you're trying to do, but I am not gonna hit you.
Will: Then I'm gonna tell everybody you're a punk, then.
Omar: Be my guest.
Will: What about your rep?
Omar: Look, you see those guys over there? That's my rep. Brother, you need to grow up.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Yeah, I don't wanna spend another minute in this sardine can. Thanks for everything, Aunt Vy.

Quote from Vy

Vy: Well, isn't this a surprise? Just me and you, just like old times.
Will: That's right.
Vy: Now, go clean up your room. Go on.

Quote from Philip

Philip: Now, Geoffrey, we'll be gone for about four or five days. You know what to do.
Geoffrey: Don't worry, sir, the house is in excellent hands.
Carlton: Do we have to go?
Vivian: Carlton, your Aunt Vy is dying to show us how she's redecorated her home.
Philip: God forbid she should send a picture.
Vivian: Philip.

Quote from Will

Carlton: Oh, all right, let's get it over with.
Will: Carlton, would you cool out a little bit, man. What, just because you're not going to some fancy resort somewhere that means you can't have a good time? It is a damn shame when people are spoiled by money. G, put some butter on that, bring that out to me in the car.

Quote from Hilary

Philip: You know, Vy, we don't wanna be any trouble. Why don't we just make reservations at a hotel and just get out of your hair.
Hilary: Yeah, that's a great idea.
Vy: No, no, no. There is plenty of room right here.
Will: Yep, yep.
Vy: And I'll take it as a personal insult if you guys leave.
Will: Yep. Yep, yep, yep.
Hilary: How about if just I left? [Philip elbows Hilary] Ow. [Vivian elbows Hilary] Ow. That's what I get for being considerate.

Quote from Will

Will: Hey, dude, give me four cheese steaks, man.
Duke: Four Joe Frazier's in cheese trunks.
Ashley: Joe Frazier?
Will: Oh, yeah, it means "big beef." Duke names all the sandwiches after people. Hey, give me one with mushrooms, dude.
Duke: Wrap one in fungus.

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