Carlton: For a long time it gave me nightmares... having to witness an injustice like that. It was a constant reminder of how unfair this world can be. I can still hear them taunting him: "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids." How come they just couldn't give him some cereal?

Will: Uncle Phil, I'm telling you, I think we should just pull into a gas station.
Philip: Will, for the last time, I don't need directions. [car splutters]
Will: You're right. You need gas.
Philip: Okay, I made a wrong turn. It's no big deal, it's not the end of the world. We'll just... We'll thumb a ride to the nearest gas station. We used to do it a lot in the '60s.
Will: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Uncle Phil, can you take a stroll into the '90s, please? We are three Black men on the side of a mountain road. The only people that's going to stop is going to have on sheets and saying stuff like, "Get them, Jim Bob."

Philip: Will, we're going to have to turn that money over to the authorities. If nobody claims it, then you can keep it, but until then, I think I should look after it.
Will: Whoa, no! I'm all right, Uncle Phil. You know, I'll just find a safe place to keep it, you know, just for the night. Goodnight, Abe. Goodnight, Alexander. And I can't forget you, Ben. Oh, man, I'm sleeping with the presidents. Must be what Marilyn Monroe felt like.

Will: You know, Uncle Phil, now, I haven't been on too many camping trips but snow is a bad thing, right?
Philip: Look. Let's look on the bright side, okay? This will give us a perfect opportunity to pull together and show what we're made of.
Will: Does Bigfoot have to come down here with a chain saw before you admit we're in trouble?

Philip: Good morning, everyone. [chuckles] Ah, you know, men, I'm really looking forward to this. Reminds me of camping with my father. Ah, sleeping under the stars, climbing mountains, braving winds that could knock a grown man flat to the ground.
Will: Hey, man, I ain't trying to be nowhere around a wind that can knock Uncle Phil to the ground.

Carlton: Carlton's log. I'm wet. I'm wet and I'm cold. I'm wet and I'm cold and I'm in a cave.
Will: Shut up, Carlton.
Carlton: I'm shutting up. I'm shutting up and I'm wet.
Will: [lunges at Carlton] That's it!
Philip: Hey. Just relax! Look, come on. Now, we'll build a fire.
Will: How are we supposed to build a fire, Uncle Phil? It's snowing outside. All the wood is soaking wet.
Carlton: Then we'll freeze to death. I don't want to die. I want to go to college and poke fun at all the kids on financial aid. I want to see Karate Kid 17.

Will: $25,000. Do you all mind if I get butt naked and roll around in this for a little while?

Will: [whimpers] Whoa, whoa, was that Andrew or Ben?
Philip: It was Ben.
Will: Oh, I'm sorry, Ben. You was one of the few White people I could really count on.

Will: Hey, good morning, G.
Geoffrey: Good morning, Master William. So, ready for the big camping expedition?
Will: Please, man, I'm from Philly. To me, a wilderness experience is dating a girl who don't shave her legs.
Geoffrey: My uncle Reggie always insisted the woods were safer than the cities. Until the day he died.
Will: Word? Yo, how'd he die?
Geoffrey: He was eaten by wolves.

Carlton: Carlton's log. Earth date: 1992. It's 6:00 a.m. Up with the dawn, the small band of brave souls prepare to pile into their Mercedes. Destination: Adventure.
Will: Carlton, you look like Webster on a safari.