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‘As the Will Turns’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: As the Will Turns

520. As the Will Turns

Aired April 10, 1995

Will gets a part on a soap opera. Meanwhile, Philip is concerned that Vivian is working late.

Quote from Will

Will: Can we get back to moi, please? I got a part on that soap opera, Now and Forever.
Philip: Oh, please. They hired you, somebody who's never acted in his life, to star in a network TV show. Pppt.
Will: Well, it happens.

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Quote from Will

Derek: Ah, yes. I'm sorry it had to end this way, my dear. If only my little plot to frame you had worked.
Joan: You mean, you killed Carlos?
Will: No, that was me. That's right, I shot Carlos. And that's not all. I'm the one who shot J.R. too. And I shot the sheriff. But I did not shoot the deputy.
Joan: Do you ever wanna work in this town again? Painting portraits?
Will: No. But you see, I'm young and I'm restless. I only got one life to live... so I got to follow my guiding light and search for tomorrow.
Director: Follow him, camera four. I don't care if he goes to the commissary.
Will: Hey, who knows if I'll wind up living out the days of my life in a mansion in Dallas on the comer of Melrose Place drinking Falcon Crest out of a brown paper bag.
Joan: Royce, don't you care about anybody but yourself?
Will: Sure I do. I care about you. It's not because of those expensive clothes or your fancy jewelry. That big Zsa Zsa wig you be wearing. I love you for who you are. Who you really are. [removes wig] The bald and the beautiful.

Quote from Geoffrey

Will: Y'all are not gonna believe what happened to me today. I've got some great news.
Philip: Ah, you're moving out?
Will: Even better.
Geoffrey: I'm moving out?

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Hey, you can't treat an actor like that. What do you think he is, a writer?

Quote from Will

Will: Look, laugh if you want to but tomorrow, I'm coming out of my coma.
Ashley: You mean you're actually gonna speak?
Will: Right, I called all my boys in Philly. They're gonna watch it on a big-screen TV. I just hope that Sears lets them stay for the whole show.

Quote from Will

Will: Wait till y'all see this thing, this is huge.
Carlton: If you xeroxed your butt again, I'm not interested.
Will: Uncle Phil, wait till you see this bill. Lisa spent $1,200 on a bed. I hope that thing comes with a canopy because at that price, it's the only roof we'll have over our heads.
Philip: Well, get used to it, Will. You're about to marry and you know how women are.
Vivian: No, Philip, how are we?
Philip: Fine. And you?
Will: Look, Uncle Phil, I'm telling you, it's not like Lisa to spend this kind of money. I'm telling you, she's possessed. It's like some evil force has taken over her mind. Something not of this Earth.
Hilary: [enters] Hi, everyone. Is Lisa here yet? We're going shopping again today.
Will: [Psycho theme] Ah!

Quote from Geoffrey

Will: Do I play a convincing coma victim or what?
Geoffrey: Well, you're no Sunny Von Bulow.

Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: Interesting performance, Master William. I haven't seen such a disaster on the telly since they cancelled Manimal.

Quote from Will

Will: Excuse me. Hey, what's up, bro? How you doing? Looking for my cousin, she works on the next set. She's the host of the Hilary Banks Show.
Security Guard: What's her name?
Will: Uh... Cleopatra Jones.
Security Guard: Cleopatra Jones.
Will: Brother, look, she's tall, light-skinned sister. She drives a red Maserati.
Security Guard: Oh, dag, that's your cousin? She's fine. She's right over there.
Will: Thank you.
Security Guard: Hey, tell Cleopatra Reggie said, "What's up?"

Quote from Will

Will: Hey, Hil, what's up? Look, I'm in a little bit of a bind here. Now, I found Lisa's engagement ring, but I don't get paid until Thursday. I was wondering, could you lend me a couple of hundred for the deposit?
Hilary: I think I'm gonna faint. [giggles]
Will: All right, but while you're down, can I get some dough out your wallet?

Quote from Will

Will: Okay, please. Hil, I gotta be honest, I kind of agree with her. I mean, come on, man, the dude's a brother and he ain't supposed to be like, "I'm looking for a Julius Caesar salad." I mean, come on, man, you know, he got to be down here, you know. "Hey, look, baby, you need the cops, we don't need to go down the station. All I got to do is walk out your front door carrying your TV, you know. You know what I'm saying?"

Quote from Philip

Vivian: Troy and I are working late on our book tonight.
Philip: Troy?
Vivian: Mm-hm.
Philip: Professor T. Johnson is a Troy?
Vivian: What did you think the T stood for?
Philip: I was hoping Thelma.

Quote from Carlton

Will: Uncle Phil, I'm telling you, my money troubles are over. I need you to check out my contract. Man, I ain't seen so many zeros since Carlton's square dance recital.
Carlton: Hardy har... hello. What a sense of humor. And you don't think this guy has talent. You know, you're going to the top, Will. But you're overlooking one small thing.
Will: What? You mean beside that little chocolate Tic Tac you call your head?
Carlton: Ha, ha. Killing me. He's killing me. Ha, ha. But, seriously, Will, you know, you're going to need management. Someone to look out for you. Someone to-
Will: Take 10 percent.
Carlton: Why, I'd love to.

Quote from Geoffrey

Ashley: Wanna see Will's show? We have it on tape.
Philip: No, soap operas don't interest me.
Hilary: Oh, this one's hot, Daddy. See, Joan was having an affair with Carlos right behind her husband's back. Well, not that they were in the same room or anything. But Joan lied and told her husband she'd been working late at the office writing her memoirs.
Geoffrey: That reminds me, sir. Mrs. Banks called to say she'll be working late again with Professor Johnson at her office writing her book. [Philip downs his drink]

Quote from Will

Will: Hey! What you doing? That wasn't in my script.
Lisa: Well, that kiss wasn't in mine.
Will: Oh, well, come on, baby. That was a ad-lib. All us good actors do it. That ain't personal. I might as well be kissing Flavor Flav, gold teeth and all.
Lisa: Will, the only person I want you kissing on is me.
Will: Whoa, hey, hey, hey, now, come on, baby, be fair. The only reason I even took this job was to put that ring on your finger and to make you happy. So if I have to crawl into bed with 10 beautiful woman that's just a sacrifice I'm gonna have to make.

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