Amy: Look, guys... can we just please move past this and get back to work?
Marcus: Oh, so we have to work while you lie on a diamond bed and have unicorns feed you grapes?
Corey: Yeah, if you can do self care at work, why can't we?
Amy: Fine. You know what, if you feel like you need some self care, then you should take a break every now and then.
Marcus: Fine, we're doing it right now. I'm gonna self care so hard. Come on.

Cheyenne: Oh, uh, or you could take Marcus.
Dina: Whoever. Marcus! Security office, now!
Marcus: Yep, just give me a second. If I run too fast, I become airborne.

Dina: All right, no bags in housewares. Are you getting anything, Marcus?
Marcus: I gotta be honest, about 60% of my vision's blocked by the dragon head.
Dina: You're exuding, like, a wet heat.
Marcus: I know. It's the dragon smoke function.
Dina: Now you're fogging up the screen.
Marcus: I can't control it.
Dina: Oh, this is doing nothing. It's just moving it around. [both cough]

Marcus: Hey, so Maya left her Sprite.
Amy: Just take it.
Marcus: Yes! We did it, Tita! Your boy won!

Marcus: So?
Glenn: Yeah, I think they're gonna fire her.
Marcus: Wow. So I guess you'll be manager again.
Glenn: What? No. I would never take Amy's job.
Marcus: Why not? You did it for years. Who else is gonna do it?
Glenn: I mean, I guess I got no choice. And the store needs a manager.
Marcus: And we need one, like, now. This place is crazy. There was a fight earlier.

Marcus: Hey. How's Jonah doing out there? Crushing it? God, you ever look at that guy and get so proud, you have to look away?
Amy: Well, all I know so far is that he's got parking. There's probably just nothing else to report. I mean, in which case he could have said, "Nothing to report," but he didn't, and that's fine.
Marcus: Don't worry. If he texts me first, I'll download you.
Sayid: Amy, what's the scoop on the poop?
Amy: Nothing yet.
Marcus: But we'll let you know.
Amy: I will let you know. He's gonna text me first.
Marcus: Cool, we'll just get a text tree going. Jonah texts whichever one of us... gut says me.
Amy: It's not gonna be you. I've seen his favorites. You're not in there.
Marcus: What?
Sayid: Nice, Amy. Guess who's gonna be cleaning this up all afternoon. Come on, buddy.

Amy: Oh, my God. They did it. They made a deal.
Cheyenne: They did it?
Sayid: Can't believe they did it.
Marcus: Yep, he text me, too. Got it a couple of minutes ago. Didn't want to make you feel bad.

Marcus: Hey, you don't have to front. Okay, Dan's cool. I mean, he gets it. He's got ducks all over his tie, he's clearly not cool.
Dan: Well, they're mallards, so not just ducks, but yeah. I get it. You're fighting back because men are under attack.
Jonah: By shirts?
Marcus: Yeah, I mean haven't you noticed that the entire women's clothing section just keeps getting bigger? And now they got these rad shirts that are only made for women?
Sayid: And they put them right where the Hawaiian shirts used to be. I was saving up for one. I was gonna look so chill.
Marcus: First the radio silence from Corporate, and now this? It's obvious... the new CEO is gonna clean house and only let women work here from now on.
Jonah: Well, that would be illegal.
Dan: Exactly! That's why you have to do something about it.
Earl: Women get enough special treatment already. You ever been in the ladies bathroom? There's no pee on the floor. None.
Jonah: Okay, guys, settle down. I mean, I get that the acquisition and the bathroom floor might have everybody a little bit on edge, but I mean, everybody gets that you guys matter. We're all good.
Dan: You're right. Guys do matter.

Dan: So I'm paying, and then my wife comes up and tickles me right in front of my mechanic. [Earl grumbles] And she knew what she was doing.
Jonah: Thank you, so much, Dan, for sharing, um, but... perhaps going forward, we could all focus on... on the issues that we have here at... at work.
Dan: Well, it affects my work.
Mateo: It does. It really does.
Jonah: Amy, do you want to weigh in here?
Amy: No, I think it's okay for you to run this one by yourself.
Jonah: Okay, great. Great, great. Uh, gentlemen, it sounds to me like, uh, a lot of these frustrations stem from a sense of powerlessness. Which historically, has been something that women have had to deal contend with.
Marcus: Yeah, but they're not powerless anymore. I mean, Amy and Dina run the frickin' store. And now the new CEO? All men have left are the NFL and the country.
Earl: That's right!
Men: Yeah! [grumbling and chatter]

Jonah: I'm actually going to a meeting for Raise the Wage. So this is really to help all of us.
Marcus: You know what would help us is if we were all sleeping with the boss. Then we could all take a day off whenever we wanted.
Dina: Well, someone would still have to work. So who doesn't wanna sleep with Amy?
[Sandra, Glenn and Sayid raises their hands]
Amy: Okay, no, Dina, that's not... Oh, really? Sayid, wow. You'd be lucky.