Amy: Glenn, you're all about second chances. How about Carol works with you?
Glenn: Mm-hmm, mm, but as a floor supervisor, I'm also sort of a lone wolf, so... you know. [walks away]
Amy: All right, well, since you're all a bunch of babies, I'll just have Carol work with me for today.
Glenn: [hides behind an endcap] See, Amy and I are the only two people willing to give Carol a second chance.

Dina: Glenn, this is Dr. Brian Patterson, veterinarian and boyfriend.
Brian: Yeah, no, I had a little window of time open up today. Horse died early.
Dina: Oh.
Brian: So yeah, thought I'd pop in and surprise you.
Glenn: Oh, I didn't know that veterinarians use tongs. Is that for handling dog guts?
Brian: Oh, no. Just salad.
Glenn: Oh, yeah. Uh-huh.

Glenn: Guys, come on. I know what it's like when the manager's away. Yeah, you take a little longer break, eat a hot dog, turn all the screens in electronics to MTV.
Garrett: Yeah, well, I guess you got us. We're just a bunch of rebels.
Glenn: Aw, come on. So tell me what's going on. [Garrett shrugs] Oh, okay. Well... And Sandra, you'd better confess because I already asked Garrett, and he sold you down the river.
Sandra: When? We've been together the entire time.
Glenn: Hmm?
Garrett: Yeah, Glenn. If you wanna play us against each other, you have to separate us first.
Glenn: Sandra, could I see you outside or a minute?
Sandra: I don't think so, Glenn.
Glenn: Garrett, could I see...
Garrett: Come on, man.

Glenn: I can't believe that Brett gets to be the Easter Bunny. I was begging to do it, but Corporate said that anyone who asks more than three times can't 'cause of pedophile stuff.
Garrett: Hate to agree with Corporate, but that policy feels right.

Glenn: Sandra, this is Tony, one of my original foster kids, but the family he's living with is moving to Canada, you know, and Jerusha and I have our hands so full with Rose. Anyway, you were saying how you and Jerry wanted to adopt a child, so...
Garrett: So she should adopt this gentleman?
Sandra: Um... Wow. Thank you, but...
Glenn: Okay, look, I know you weren't planning on adopting right away, but Tony is such an incredible kid. He's a straight-A student, captain of the baseball team, and he makes an amazing grilled cheese sandwich.
Tony: I butter both sides of the bread.
Glenn: Oh, so good.
Sandra: Well, I just don't know if...
Glenn: Okay, look, you don't have to decide right now, but tell you what, why don't we all have lunch and see if any sparks fly, huh?
Sandra: Okay.

Glenn: Ma'am, please.
Woman: But I have a medical condition!
Dina: Hey, what seems to be the problem here?
Woman: This man is harassing me, telling me that I have to wear that mask.
Glenn: I am only trying to keep you safe.
Dina: Ma'am, listen. You need to put on the mask, or you will be escorted out of the store.
Woman: This is America! Okay? I have rights. You guys are working for Satan, aren't you?
Dina: Oh, no.
Woman: Huh? Yeah? You're Satan workers!
Glenn: S-Satan?
Dina: Here we go.
Woman: Yeah.
Glenn: He is the one person that I would never work for!

Sandra: You guys did it. You beat the odds, and now you're gonna be together forever...
Amy: Okay, we're gonna be in this meeting forever if you guys don't knock it off. So Sandra, you're cleaning carts.
Glenn: Her last time handing out assignments!
Amy: Sarah, you're repricing maternity wear in Softlines.
Glenn: Her last time asking Sarah to reprice maternity in Softlines.
Amy: Brett, if you could please be...
Glenn: This is history!
Amy: On toilet duty... Glenn!

Glenn: Oh, wow! So cute and cozy in here! I bet this is what Santa's toy workshop looks like. Well, not the main floor, but, you know, payroll or something.
Mateo: Thanks! Oh, by the way, thanks for keeping this little assistant arrangement going. I know it's kind of unusual.
Glenn: Of course, and I won't change a thing, because I wanna help you too. And also I don't totally understand what you and Amy came up with.
Mateo: I appreciate it.
Glenn: Oh, now business. I was thinking of doing a little slideshow for Amy's goodbye party, and I was hoping that you could come up with some electronic photos of her time here. You know the type of photos I mean? Like, you can't hold them in your hand.
Mateo: I do. And happy to.
Glenn: Oh, hey! Maybe we could videotape people saying goodbye to Amy, and then take those video clips and, like, put them next to each other. Like, but when one would stop, the other one would begin, sort of like a parade.
Mateo: Yes, I get it, yeah. Please stop. This is hurting me.

Glenn: Well, I wanted to give you something.
Amy: Aww, that's pretty. Thank you.
Glenn: It's Myrtle. Remember how she always wanted to go out to California? So I talked to her family, and they said you can take her out there. You know, make her dreams come true.
Amy: Oh, that's really sweet, actually.
Glenn: Yeah, her sister said you got about a third of her in there.
Amy: Oh.
Glenn: Yeah. And... and... I also wanted to give you this.
Amy: An I-9? Thank you.
Glenn: It's your I-9 from when you were a summer hire, remember? And now here we are, 17 years later, and you're off to some fancy corporate job. I couldn't be prouder.
Amy: I can't believe you saved this.
Glenn: Well, I always knew you were gonna be special. [sighs] Also, I saved everyone's, for auditing purposes.
Amy: Well, it's still very cool. It's gonna be really weird not seeing your face, 'cause your face has just always been there. [they each hug themselves]

Glenn: Some of you must be thinking, "Wow, our manager sure looks different today." It's a little joke because, you know, I'm taking over for Amy, and... Oh, Jonah, I'm sorry.
Jonah: It's fine. You can say her name. I'm aware she still exists.
Glenn: Okay, well, um, I promised Jerusha that I would not let the job stress me out this time around. So instead of me leading the meeting, why don't we all lead the meeting together?
Garrett: Cool, that seems much better than you just giving us the information we need to do our jobs.
Glenn: Okay, Garrett, just park the snark, okay?