Hope: This is censorship!
Stevie: Call... the ACLU... and sue... their ass.

Malcolm: And then she stood in the parking lot for half an hour waving cars away. My mom is horrible.
Stevie: My mom... phoned me drunk... on my birthday... wanting money.

Malcolm: I never saw people get so passionate about the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum theory. I thought Nana was going to punch somebody. We had so much fun last night.
Stevie: I watched... Dad torch... his wedding album.

Malcolm: [to camera] Turns out, breaking up with Angela was a terrible mistake. It's sad. Sometimes you don't realize what you had until you throw it away.
Ivan: [opens door] Malcolm.
Malcolm: Hey.
Maria: What are you doing here?
Malcolm: I was just in the neighborhood and I was thinking maybe... You guys look great.
Ivan: This is really awkward.
Stevie: Yes... I'm the Earl... of Sandwich. [Ivan closes the door]

Stevie: Hello... trade school.

Malcolm: And... save. I think this is going to work.
Stevie: Why is... your mom... so mean?
Malcolm: I guess when you find something you're really good at, you just stick with it.
Stevie: I'm glad... you understand... about my mom.
Malcolm: Why would you ever think that?
Stevie: What?
Malcolm: Stevie, I'm sure whatever my mom said was way too harsh, and totally unjustified. But your mom abandoned you guys. Don't you even care about all the crap she put you and your dad through? She shouldn't be able to just say "I'm sorry" and get away with it.
Stevie: This... conversation... is... over... right... now.

Reese: Malcolm, your leopard-skin seat covers are here.
Malcolm: Sweet. I can't wait to see you in them. What's going on?
Reese: Malcolm, this is Mike. He's from AAA.
Mike: You're in a safe place with people who care about you. Sit down, son.
Malcolm: What's all this about?
Mike: Stevie and Reese have something to say and I think you should listen.
Stevie: You've abandoned... your friends. You didn't... even notice... my new... deck shoes.
Malcolm: Stevie, I've just been busy, okay?

Hal: Malcolm? Malcolm, are you all right?
Malcolm: What happened?
Hal: It's okay. It's okay, son. You'll be fine. Just breathe deep.
Malcolm: Stevie, you saved my life. I treated you like dirt. You saved my life. [coughs] Your wheel's kinda on my crotch.
Stevie: Is it?

Stevie: You wanted... to see me.
Malcolm: Stevie, brace yourself. I'm going to tell you a really big secret about something so huge that every bone in your body is going to want to tell, but you have to promise not to. This is an actual street luge. Like from your magazine.
Stevie: Heaven... forfend.
Malcolm: I need you to help me with some calculations of wheel friction and frame stiffness to get this thing perfect. I have to beat this rich jerk who keeps making me wipe out. I'm going to make a bet with him, and race him.
Stevie: You think... you can beat... this glorious... alpha male?
Reese: It's going to happen. 'Cause I'm going to hide in the bushes and jump out at him and force him to crash.
Malcolm: It may not be the most honest thing in the world, but you know what, who cares? This guys totally deserves it.
Stevie: I'd hate... to be him.

Stevie: Can I... ask you something?
Malcolm: Sure.
Stevie: Do you find... my personality... abrasive?
Malcolm: What?
Stevie: Do you think... I'm needlessly... antagonistic?
Malcolm: I don't know. Probably. What do you care?
Stevie: I don't... want anyone... to hate me.