Otto: The cinema has a brilliant new light, and her name is Gretchen Mannkusser.
Gretchen: Oh, Otto!
Otto: You were great.
Gretchen: Really? I don't know. I found that whole scene was kind of stupid and pointless. You know what would have helped? Some sex.
Otto: Ja, ja, ja. [whispers] But you know these Americans, they have lots of hang-ups, eh?

Dewey: [sobs] And I know I shouldn't have taken it but it looked so cool. And then in the tree I forgot it was in my pocket, and I fell and it broke.
Gretchen: Oh, I know, I know, sweetheart. And you know what? I should never have yelled at you. I feel terrible about that.
Dewey: You do?
Gretchen: Oh, of course I do. So, we both feel bad about what we did, huh? You know what your Tante Gretchen does when she feels bad? She works. She works herself to the point where her body screams in pain and her soul begs for mercy.
Dewey: Why?
Gretchen: It's the best form of penance. Oh, when my fingers are raw, and my back is racked with crippling pain, I feel all better.
Dewey: Well, that might work for you-
Gretchen: Let's do it.

Otto: So, Francis, you also come to the Circle K for the wonderful hot dogs?
Francis: Actually, we were just sort of passing through and our car broke down.
Gretchen: This is so lucky for you. This is a wonderful place. We own a dude ranch just nearby. Yeah, with cows and horses and people. We don't own the people.

Otto: Your son is a genius. He has completely turned this place around.
Gretchen: Well, not physically, of course. We still face the arroyo as before, but we could never have survived without his hard work.

Otto: What do you think you are doing?
Merl: We have a real ranch to run, and our cattle need water.
Otto: We need that fence. I will not allow you to kill our horses.
Merl: Well, I'm not going to allow you to kill our cattle!
Otto: Enough talk. Gretchen, my gun!
Gretchen: Which one? Ooh, what am I saying? The Luger, hmm?

Gretchen: [sings] That's the night that the lights went out In Georgia That's the night that they hung an innocent man Well, don't trust your soul To no backwoods Southern lawyer 'Cause the judge in the town's Got bloodstains on his hands Bloody, bloody hands.

Gretchen: [to Dewey] Aren't they wonderful? They are Hopi Indian kachina dolls. Now, according to legend, he tracks down misbehaving children und chews up their bones so no one will ever find them again. Mythology is so much fun, don't you think? [Dewey goes to grab one] Oh, no, no. No. They are far too valuable. You mustn't touch them. Can I trust you?
Dewey: I don't see why not.

Gretchen: How are we doing?
Dewey: My fingers hurt but that bad feeling in my stomach is getting better.
Gretchen: This is good. It means you are getting in touch with your guilt, ja?
Dewey: What's the matter?
Gretchen: I just remembered when I was nine, my uncle gave me a pfennig to put in the wishing well but I threw a pebble in the well und I kept the pfennig. I am pure evil. [groans]
Dewey: I once put a garden slug in Reese's sandwich and he ate it.
Gretchen: Und you feel bad about this? [Dewey nods] Then scrub. Oh, look. Blood. We are halfway there. [both chuckle]

Gretchen: I think that is it. Finally, we are finished.
Dewey: Wow, I feel wonderful.
Gretchen: Ja, it's beautiful, isn't it? This is the moment you work for. Your soul is set free. Your burden has been lifted.
Dewey: I kind of feel like I'm floating.
Gretchen: Well, that's probably the ammonia but we have done well. A clean room leads to a clean conscience, ja?
Dewey: I think I'm happier than I've ever been.
Gretchen: Mm, me, too, liebe. Here, I want to give you something. [hands Dewey a cleaning brush] Promise you will think of me when you use it.
Dewey: Thank you, Tante Gretchen.
Gretchen: De nada.

Francis: Okay, I don't know what happened...
Otto: I know what happened. You have been riding those horses too much.
Gretchen: We have an ointment, Francis. You put it on your leistengegend, and it will be as good as new.
Otto: It's good stuff, Francis. It's tingly.
Gretchen: Ja.