Lorelai: I swear, that guy should work for the CIA. He gives away nothing, absolutely nothing!
Sookie: I have friends there.
Lorelai: What? Where?
Sookie: The CIA.
Lorelai: No, you don't.
Sookie: Yes, I- Ah, you didn't mean the Culinary Institute of America?
Lorelai: No.
Sookie: Okay, then.

Lorelai: Jackson!
Jackson: What are you doing here?
Lorelai: What are you doing here?
Jackson: I'm sleeping with the zucchini. Didn't you tell her that I was sleeping with the zucchini?
Sookie: She had a little trouble grasping that concept.

Lorelai: Sook, Sook.
Sookie: Where are we?
Lorelai: Michel, wake up. Hon, wake up.
Michel: What happened?
Lorelai: We slept with the zucchini.
Michel: We slept with the zucchini?
Lorelai: We slept with the zucchini.
Sookie: I slept good. I mean, really good.
Michel: Me too.
Lorelai: That's the best night's sleep I've had in weeks.
Michel: My back isn't hurting. It's perfect now.
Sookie: It's like a magic zucchini patch.

Sookie: Sorry to break up the party, but as of now, there's no more lunch! Yeah! It's been cancelled. You happy, Norman Mailer? Huh? Lunch has been cancelled! That means no more iced tea, uh-uh. No more lemon slices. No more hanging out at a restaurant, ordering nothing because you're Norman Mailer and you can. I mean, that's just like me coming into a bookstore, reading your books, without buying them. Hey, can I borrow this? Huh? I'm not going to pay for it, nope. I'm just going to stand here and read. Ooh, yeah. Someone sure likes to use his big words.
Lorelai: Can I get some more iced tea for the table? Excuse me, Mr. Mailer, I'm so terribly sorry.

Sookie: This is his fault!
Lorelai: It is not his fault.
Sookie: He takes up space. He drinks iced tea! He scares the other people off.
Lorelai: Sookie, he does not. Why are you being so nutty about this?
Sookie: I don't know! I don't know why I'm getting so nutty about this! I mean, I hear myself getting nutty and I know that there's no one coming for lunch. And I know that Norman Mailer is not responsible for no one coming for lunch. And I tell myself it's just temporary, and there's still dinner, and breakfast, and that's good, and I can do a lot with that, and I try to calm myself down and that just seems to only make me crazier and all I want to do is cry, and scream, and- Oh, My God, I'm pregnant!
Lorelai: [gasps] You're pregnant?
Sookie: Ooh, I'm pregnant! Oh, oh. [hugs Lorelai and then runs out into the dining room] Norman Mailer, I'm pregnant!
Norman Mailer: Congratulations.

Sookie: I heard about this couple on one of those morning show, similar to you guys - all lovey-dovey, perfect for each other, you know, headed for marriage - and something happened, and they broke up in their senior year of college, even though they were madly in love with each other. Oh, they moved to different parts of the country. They married different people.
Lorelai: They married different people?
Sookie: Oh, had kids, grandkids. Then their spouses died, oh, and they were available again, and they talked and they hooked up, and now they're together and they're happily in love after forty years apart. [giggles]
Lorelai: That's a horrible story!
Sookie: No, it's not.
Lorelai: What morning show was that on? I hate that story.
Sookie: But they ended up together.
Lorelai: Was it Katie Couric? She seems very dark to me.

Emily: What do you mean they're for your wedding?
Sookie: Oh, it's this company's sample place setting. Emily set me up with them. They did Celine Dion's wedding and Steven Spielberg's daughter's Jack Russell Terrier's 'bark' mitzvah.
Lorelai: You're putting me on.
Sookie: I couldn't make that up.

Rory: Maybe it won't be that bad.
Lorelai: Yeah, deep-frying's kind of in now.
Sookie: I don't care. You don't deep-fry turkey. Filet of fish, yes. A batch of fries, yes. A donut, yes. Not turkey.

Sookie: So... [gasps] Maybe you two never kissed.
Lorelai: Me and Max? Oh no, we kissed.
Sookie: Maybe it was an illusion.
Lorelai: It was not an illusion, Doug Henning. We kissed.
Sookie: Don't be so sure because something like this happened to me when I was like ten. I was so into Leif Garrett and I fantasized about kissing him so much that at some point, I really thought it happened.
Lorelai: I kissed Max, Sookie.
Sookie: I can still feel Leif's lips on mine.
Lorelai: I kissed him.

Jackson: Are you breathing, honey?
Sookie: I'm breathing. Hey, was that Andy Dick out in the hallway?
Jackson: No, honey. This happened last time. You go into labor, you start thinking you see famous people.
Sookie: Right. Suddenly my midwife was Wolf Blitzer.