Emily Gilmore Quotes Page 1 of 28    

Quote from Blame Booze and Melville

Lorelai: Look, Mom, I was mad at you when I did the interview, okay? And I said things but I didn't mean them, it just happened. And I'm not used to talking to reporters. I didn't know about the whole "off the record, on the record" thing. But I know now. And I'm really sorry it happened.
Emily: I did not force Jimmy Carter out of his room at that hotel.
Lorelai: See, now that I thought was just an amusing anecdote.
Emily: I did not get into a, quote, "bitch-fight" with him. He's an ex-president! It was with that insufferable Rosalyn.

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Quote from Driving Miss Gilmore

Lorelai: Here we go.
Emily: What is this?
Lorelai: This is my car.
Emily: We can't go in this. We have to take the other car.
Lorelai: What other car? No, Mom, that's not a car. That's a rap-video set.
Emily: I ordered it specially. It has the darkest windows available. They say it's the car Jay-Z uses when he's in town. I assume that's an entertainer of some sort. The windows are bulletproof. They kept saying that as if it's a selling point. I told them I was not paying extra for bulletproof windows. I haven't been strafed in years.

Quote from Die, Jerk

Lorelai: Yeah, the stores you normally have to go to, they're on the internet now.
Emily: But going to a nice store is half the fun of shopping. I like being greeted at the door and the bustle of people and the shoes and clothes all lined up nice and pretty.
Lorelai: That's true.
Rory: Yeah, we like that, too.
Emily: Having someone help you pick out the right thing or help you exchange it if it's not right. With the internet, what do you do? Mail it back?
Lorelai: We usually just forget.
Rory: Yeah.
Emily: So you're just out the money?
Rory: Pretty much.
Emily: I don't get it.

Quote from You Jump, I Jump, Jack

Emily: Diners are generally so filthy. I'm sure yours isn't, but the horror stories you hear. I read that one in Vermont got caught serving roadkill. Do you know what that is?
Luke: Uh, yeah, it's, uh, dead animals from the street.
Emily: From the street, from the backyard, fished out of pools. These diners find it and serve it. Again, probably not yours. But the fact that this place got away with it at all is astounding. I guess people who frequent diners don't look too closely at what they're eating out of self defense.
Luke: We don't serve roadkill at my place.
Emily: Well, good for you. I had a friend who ate at a diner once and the next day she dropped dead. Her family considered suing the place but there's nothing to get from these people. A couple of stools and a toaster. But they were sure it was a matter of hygiene and they eventually drove them out of the state. I don't want to tell you what they found when they moved the stove. Would you like another beer, Luke?

Quote from 'S Wonderful, 'S Marvelous

Police Officer: You were on a cellphone, ma'am.
Emily: I don't see how that's your concern. Do my bills go to your office?
Police Officer: It is illegal in Connecticut to talk on a cellphone while operating a vehicle.
Emily: Well, that is absurd. I can't talk on my own phone in my own car?
Police Officer: License and registration, ma'am.
Emily: If I can manage to drink a cup of hot coffee and drive, I can talk on a cellphone. Or is coffee illegal, too? Can I listen to the radio? Can I open the glove compartment? Perhaps you should outlaw scratching your nose. That would certainly cut down on accidents.
Police Officer: Ma'am, have you been drinking?
Emily: What? No! This is outrageous. You know, right now, someone is robbing a Kwik-e-mart, and you're standing there harassing me.
Police Officer: I'm going to need you to blow into this breathalyzer for me.
Emily: Young man, I don't know where that's been, but I can say with absolute certainty it won't be going anywhere near my mouth.

Quote from I'd Rather Be in Philadelphia

Lorelai: I'm just saying it's a cliche.
Emily: What is?
Lorelai: Hospital food being bad.
Emily: Exactly.
Lorelai: What?
Emily: It's a cliche for a reason. Cliches are true things that people are tired of being true. Like, "a penny saved is a penny earned." Well it is, invested wisely.
Lorelai: I don't think that's a cliche, mom.
Emily: What do you mean? Of course it's a cliche.
Lorelai: It's not a cliche. That's more an overused saying, like "I'm sweating bullets" or "it's as cold as ice."
Emily: Well, some overused sayings are true, like "children should be seen and not heard."
Lorelai: "Mother knows best."
Emily: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Quote from I Am Kayak, Hear Me Roar

Emily: It's like a canoe.
Lorelai: What's like a canoe?
Emily: Life.
Lorelai: Okay.
Emily: You're just paddling along in a canoe.
Lorelai: Mother, have you ever been in a canoe?
Emily: Lorelai.
Lorelai: Well, I just can't picture you in a canoe.
Emily: Your father and I have been paddling a canoe together for years. Only now, he's dropped the paddle. He just dropped it. Not only that, but now the canoe is going in circles. Without your father there, I'm paddling on my side and the canoe is spinning in circles, and the harder I paddle, the faster it spins, and it's hard work, and I'm getting tired.

Quote from The Lorelais' First Day at Chilton

Lorelai: What are you doing here, Mother?
Emily: I told you, I came to put in a good word for Rory.
Lorelai: Well, she didn't need a good word.
Emily: I'm not allowed here, is that it?
Lorelai: I didn't say that.
Emily: I'm allowed to pay for it, but I can't set foot on the premises. I just want to get the rules straight.
Lorelai: Oh, boy.
Emily: How about driving down the street?
Lorelai: Forget it.
Emily: Maybe I should avoid this neighborhood altogether. Though my doctor is just down the block. Maybe I can get special permission if I'm bleeding from the head.

Quote from Kill Me Now

Emily: I'm trying to help your daughter get an education.
Lorelai: Thank you, she'll find another sport.
Emily: Why should she?
Rory: Because she doesn't wanna go, and Dad doesn't wanna take her.
Emily: Oh, your father doesn't know what he wants. He'd get his hair cut at the butcher's, if I let him.

Quote from Kill Me Now

Lorelai: We brought dessert.
Emily: Really? How thoughtful! What is it?
Lorelai: Blueberry shortcake.
Emily: I've never heard of blueberry shortcake.
Lorelai: Yeah, it's a Stars Hollow specialty.
Emily: Why is it already cut?
Lorelai: It's left over. From the wedding. At the inn.
Emily: I know where the wedding was.
Lorelai: Oh, sorry. You were just doing that staring thing.
Emily: You brought us used dessert?
Lorelai: It's not used. It's left over.
Emily: How nice. I'll just put it in the kitchen next to my half-empty box of cheer.

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