Babette: [on the phone] What's the news with your dad?
Lorelai: Well, he's in surgery right now, but we think he's gonna be okay.
Babette: Oh, yeah, I'm sure. Don't you worry about a thing. He's a very vital man, your dad. Lots of chi, you know?
Lorelai: Oh really? I didn't know you noticed his chi.
Babette: Are you kidding me? Prana, chi, life force... whatever you call it, your daddy's got it in spades. Sexy men like him often do. That's what makes them so sexy. They're ripe with life.
Lorelai: O-kay.
Babette: He's gonna be fine.
Lorelai: Thanks, Babette.
Babette: He's like Warren Beatty, your dad, or Sean Connery, or... who's that one I always found so sexy? The evil politician with the glasses... Henry Kissinger!
Lorelai: Oh, yeah, I know him.
Babette: You might not agree with his politics. You might have lived through Vietnam and thought, "Wow, that man is the devil," but you can't deny he's sexy. You know why? Chi.

Luke: Who's what?
Babette: Oh, that's Jason Stiles. He was Lorelai's boyfriend for the last six months.
Luke: Oh, yeah?
Babette: Yeah. Not exactly who I pictured her with, but he does have a very nice car. Anyhow, they were hiding their relationship from her parents, 'cause Jason was her father's business partner. Well, of course, the parents found out about it, and all hell broke loose. Jason wound up suing Lorelai's father.
Luke: They still together?
Babette: I don't know. I thought they broke up, but he's here, so maybe. I could ask Patty for you if you want. Sometimes she gets the news first, 'cause her phone line picks up other people's conversations, something about proximity to the power lines. I'll tell ya, location, location, location.

Babette: You're back!
Lorelai: [screams] Oh! God, Babette, you scared me.
Babette: Yeah, it's my voice. It frightens the hell out of people. I don't know what to do about it.
Lorelai: Well, you could start by not hiding in people's houses and leaping at them when they come home.
Babette: It's the nodules.
Lorelai: Who?
Babette: It's the nodules on my vocal chords. The more I strain my voice, the more they grow. It's nature's way of trying to get me to talk softer.
Lorelai: Babette, one. Nature, nada.

Luke: Okay, here you go ladies. Little hot water for you, Miss Patty. And for you, Babette, a bowl of Shredded Wheat.
Babette: It's for my throat, it give it a rougher quality, a husk sound sorta like Debbie Herry meets Ethel Merman.

Lorelai: Hey, um, did you guys pass Luke, or see his truck any time tonight?
Morey: Uh-oh.
Babette: You're not with Luke?
Lorelai: Not at the moment.
Babette: Uh-oh.
Lorelai: What?
Babette: Didn't you go to your parents' wedding thing tonight?
Lorelai: Yes.
Morey: Uh-oh.
Lorelai: What?
Babette: You didn't come back together?
Lorelai: Well, of course we did. We're just not together at the moment.
Babette & Morey: Uh-oh.
Lorelai: Would you guys stop doing that?

Babette: So the proposal was spontaneous, huh?
Miss Patty: Oh, the spontaneous proposals are the best, you know.
Babette: Yeah, Morey proposed to me spontaneously. Did I ever tell you the story?
Luke: Uh, no.
Babette: It was a brisk fall night, and Morey was on top. No, wait, I was on top.
Luke: What?
Babette: Hold on, Stoney Morrison was on top.
Luke: Babette!
Babette: We were playing Twister! Did I not mention that?
Luke: No.
Babette: [chuckles] I probably should have.

Lorelai: Babette, I appreciate you coming over like this but Rory's not really in a talking mood just now.
Babette: But I can help!
Lorelai: I know.
Babette: I can tell her how to go through a lot of bad relationships to get to that really good one!
Lorelai: It's very good advice.
Babette: Oh, yeah. And I can tell her about all the horrible men I've known in my day. Really truly awful men.
Lorelai: Babette.
Babette: I was pushed out of a moving car once.
Lorelai: Well, that's a peppy little anecdote.

Rory: Wow, that sounds bad.
Babette: Cinnamon's dyspeptic. So is Morey. Too many clams.
Morey: Bad clams.
Babette: This doesn't reflect well on Al's establishment.
Lorelai: You had clams at Al's?
Rory: Al's Pancake World?
Babette: Yeah, well, we had a coupon.

Lorelai: Can I help you with something?
Babette: No. I thought I'd just get some of this stuff packed away.
Lorelai: Oh, it's like a scene from the kitty version of Valley of the Dolls.
Babette: Yeah, you never realize how old they actually are till you look in the medicine cabinet.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Babette: These were for her heartworms. For her thyroid, her kidneys for the rash she got from taking these and these were for the tics she developed from taking the stuff for the rash. And these are... Oh, geez, these are mine. Damn. I'm gonna miss that old broad.

Babette: Hey, sugar. We were just getting to know your young man here.
Lorelai: Yeah, I see that. Dean, would you mind going inside and helping Rory out? There's a struggle with a jar lid that I think she's about to lose.
Dean: Sure, yeah.
Babette: It was nice talking to you, Dean.
Dean: Yeah, you, too.
Morey: Stay cool, kid.
Dean: Uh... I will.
Babette: [to Lorelai] Oh, is he cute!
Lorelai: Yeah.
Babette: And that Chuck Heston chin of his! Is he Rory's boyfriend?
Lorelai: No, they're just friends.
Babette: Well, that's not what I heard. Kissing at the market gives a whole new meaning to Tasting Day.
Lorelai: Okay. I got to get back inside and shower, so I'll talk to you guys later.
Babette: Have a good evening. And don't forget to invite us to the wedding. Oh, won't their kids be gorgeous!