Lorelai: How late can you stay, Sookie?
Sookie: As late as you want. Davey's with his grandparents, and Jackson's sleeping with the zucchini tonight.
Lorelai: What's that, farm jargon?
Sookie: No, he's sleeping with the zucchini.
Lorelai: But what does that mean, sleeping with the zucchini?
Sookie: It means he's sleeping with the zucchini.
Lorelai: Sookie, fill me in here. Where's Jackson?
Sookie: Well, he checked the forecast today, and there's a potential cold front coming in from Canada, and he knows how important the zucchini is for opening day menu, so...
Lorelai: Are you saying that "sleeping with the zucchini" means...
Sookie: He's sleeping with the zucchini.

Lorelai: Jackson!
Jackson: What are you doing here?
Lorelai: What are you doing here?
Jackson: I'm sleeping with the zucchini. Didn't you tell her that I was sleeping with the zucchini?
Sookie: She had a little trouble grasping that concept.

Lorelai: Sook, Sook.
Sookie: Where are we?
Lorelai: Michel, wake up. Hon, wake up.
Michel: What happened?
Lorelai: We slept with the zucchini.
Michel: We slept with the zucchini?
Lorelai: We slept with the zucchini.
Sookie: I slept good. I mean, really good.
Michel: Me too.
Lorelai: That's the best night's sleep I've had in weeks.
Michel: My back isn't hurting. It's perfect now.
Sookie: It's like a magic zucchini patch.

Michel: Oh, my God. I hate nature.

Lorelai: [on the phone] They know.
Rory: Who knows?
Lorelai: The cats. They know that I've broken up with Jason and that I'm alone and they've decided it's time for me to become a crazy cat lady.
Rory: What are you talking about?
Lorelai: There's a cat on my doorstep.
Rory: Well, that's better than a bun in your oven.
Lorelai: It's just sitting there, staring at me, like he knew this moment was coming. It's still there. Why is it still there?
Rory: Mom, it's a stray. It's passing through. It's hanging out. Relax. Move away from the window and go back to bed.
Lorelai: It's not fair. We just broke up. It just happened. I'm still young. It's still possible that I'm gonna have a successful relationship. You don't know. My eggs are still viable.
Rory: Are you yelling at me or the cat?
Lorelai: The cat. I think he flipped me off with his tail. I'm Babette.
Rory: Babette's not single.
Lorelai: Whose side are you on? Circle the wagons.

Lorelai: [on the phone]Everyone knows. They can see it in my face. "She's single again. She couldn't make it work again. She picked the wrong guy again." Hey, do not lick yourself in front of me.
Rory: Mom, I need you to get a grip. You're tired, you're stressed out, and you're not seeing things clearly.
Lorelai: Oh, my God!
Rory: What?
Lorelai: There are two of them. They're not even easing me into this, those bastards.
Rory: I give up.
Lorelai: I guess I need to start collecting newspapers and magazines, find a blue bathrobe, lose my front teeth.
Rory: Well, obviously, you've got a busy day ahead of you, so I'm gonna let you go.
Lorelai: Yarn balls. I need to find some yarn balls.
Rory: Bye.
Lorelai: [to the cats] Hey, I am a young, desirable woman.

Kirk: I wanted to sit there.
Lorelai: Seriously?
Kirk: Of course seriously. Why do you think I'm here this early? I wanted to get that table.
Lorelai: Every single other table in here is empty.
Kirk: Except the one I want.
Lorelai: [sighs] Fine.
Kirk: You have to understand that on days when Lulu is working, I have very little in my life.
Lorelai: I know, Kirk.
Kirk: This table is a small thing, but it makes me happy. It gives me a sense of power over my life, a little control in a world where very little is controllable.
Lorelai: Kirk.
Kirk: What?
Lorelai: I moved. Your table's free.
Kirk: Oh. Well, thanks.
Lorelai: You're welcome.
Kirk: Boy, the light over here is excellent.

Michel: Is this your voice?
Lorelai: [on machine] Michel, curtains. Tom, banister and mud-sink valve.
Lorelai: Yes, that's my voice. I left myself a couple of messages last night.
Michel: You left yourself 25 messages last night, and the funny thing is, you didn't listen to any of the messages. I listened to the messages.
Lorelai: Just hand them to me, please.
Michel: Every day that you breathe, you make my life harder.
Lorelai: Got a solution for you, Michel.
Michel: And when is the desk coming? I don't find the whole conducting-business-on-the-floor thing amusing anymore! I want a desk and a chair and a bell. Where the hell is my bell?!

Lorelai: She's trying to set me up with Shel, the poultry guy? Why would she do that? I just broke up with someone. We'd been dating for a few months now.
Luke: I figured there was someone in the picture.
Lorelai: You did? How?
Luke: Just clues. You know, you never dressed weather-appropriate, that kind of thing.
Lorelai: Well, I can bundle on up now.
Luke: I'm sorry.

Lorelai: Cats came to my house today.
Luke: Really.
Lorelai: Because they know I'm a loser and I'm destined to be alone.
Luke: You're not destined to be alone. You have Shel.
Lorelai: [sighs] Why is it so hard?
Luke: What, relationships? Look who you're asking.
Lorelai: At least you got married.
Luke: At least you had a kid.
Lorelai: It makes me sad sometimes. Does it make you sad?
Luke: I don't know. Maybe.
Lorelai: Huh. I see Dr. Phil books in our future.
Luke: Unless they stock them at Home Depot, they're not likely to cross my path.