Lane: [on the phone] Need I mention the rock 'n' roll casualties from intra-band dating?
Rory: I know they're numerous.
Lane: Not that there's not success stories. I mean, you've got your Cramps, your Yo La Tengo, your Kim and Thurstons.
Rory: Sonny and Cher, the Early Years.
Lane: Plus, you've got bands that have survived breakups, No Doubt.
Rory: Wish they hadn't.
Lane: X, Supertramp, The White Stripes. But in the negative, you have...
Rory: Sonny and Cher, the Later Years.
Lane: Jefferson Airplane, Fleetwood Mac. I know of two country music stars whose backup singers shot them in the groin.
Rory: Whoa. That's wicked hate.

Rory: [on the phone] She's letting you go? That's amazing. What changed her mind?
Lane: I let her watch Romeo and Juliet movie with Leo and Claire Danes.
Rory: Really? I would have thought she hated it.
Lane: Oh, she did. But trust my mom to turn one of the world's great love stories into a cautionary tale of what happens when children disobey their parents.

Rory: She's writing her drummer-seeks-rock-band ad.
Lane: And it's not reading right to me. Could you guys look it over?
Rory: Let's see. "Drummer with strong beat seeks band into the Accelerators, the Adolescents, the Adverts, Agent Orange, the Angelic Upstarts, the Agnostic Front, Ash..."
Rory: You went alphabetically.
Lane: Seemed tidy.
Lorelai: And a little OCD.
Rory: And a little long.
Lane: I can't make cuts.
Rory: It's three pages, single spaced – make cuts.
Lane: But this is the cut-down version. I mean, just from the letter A, I excluded AC/DC, the Animals, and A-Ha, footnoted as a guilty pleasure.

Lane: Okay, I just crunched the numbers and at two thousand words and twenty-five cents a word, this stupid ad's gonna cost five hundred dollars! That's five months worth of Minwaxing end tables at my mom's store. I give up.
Rory: No, don't give up. Just cut down your influences to the most important ones, like with David Bowie.
Lane: Gotta have Bowie.
Rory: But do you have to list every album he ever recorded plus your personal rating between one to ten?
Lane: Maybe not.
Lorelai: And what's with Jackson Browne making the list?
Lane: Ah, see, cool people know that he's more than a mellow hippie-dippy folkie, that he actually wrote some of Nico's best songs and was in fact her lover before he bored us with "Doctor My Eyes". That will separate the poseurs from the non-poseurs.

Lane: Philadelphia.
Rory: Philadelphia? If you could live in any city in the world you'd pick Philadelphia?
Lane: M. Night Shyamalan lives there.
Rory: Who?
Lane: The guy who directed The Sixth Sense.
Rory: But what would you do there?
Lane: Hang out with M. Night Shyamalan.
Rory: Okay, cross "Guidance Counselor" off your list of potential career choices.

Lane: Okay, just one more time.
Rory: I have been telling you this story for an hour. It doesn't get dirty.
Lane: I can't help it. I'm obsessed. I'm totally living vicariously through you.
Rory: Why? You got kissed last weekend. Remember? You told me. That guy your parents set you up with. The one with the Lincoln Continental. What's his name? Patrick Cho.
Lane: Okay. Let's do a little compare and contrast here. You get kissed on the mouth by a cute, cool, sexy guy you really like and I get kissed on the forehead by a Theology major in a Members Only jacket who truly believes rock music leads to hard drugs.
Rory: Fair enough. You can live through me. But just remember that I have no idea what I'm doing.
Lane: I'm well aware of that.

Lane: You have to look at what a gift says to the other person, not to you. Remember two years ago, I got my mom that perfume?
Rory: Yeah.
Lane: Okay. To me that said, "Hey, Mom, you work hard. You deserve something fancy." To my mother, it said, "Mom, here's some smelly sex juice. The kind I use to lure boys with." And resulted in me being sent to Bible camp all summer.
Rory: Yeah, but-
Lane: Just imagine that you actually gave Dean something really romantic, and he gave you a football. Your hypothetical romantic present is saying that you really like him and his present is saying, "Hey, man, let's just be friends."
Rory: And you're saying that this book-
Lane: Is a Czechoslovakian football, yes.

Lane: Okay, let's have a look. Okay, we have classic rock, progressive rock, pretty-boy rock...
Rory: Excuse me?
Lane: Bon Jovi, Duran Duran, The Wallflowers, Bush...
Rory: Got it. Next?
Lane: Uh, punk, new wave, German metal bands... Broadway soundtracks.
Rory: Interesting filing system.
Lane: Anything yet?
Rory: Nope, sorry.
Lane: Okay. Well, over there, we have jazz, jazz vocals, classical, country rockabilly, Sinatra: The Capitol Years. Oh, wait. The miscellaneous section.
Rory: Hey, that sounds right. William Shatner? Is this the one where he sings "Tambourine Man"?
Lane: And "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds".
Rory: Remind me to get this for my mom for her birthday.

Lane: I have a major problem.
Rory: What?
Lane: Henry, the guy I have been dancing with.
Rory: Yeah?
Lane: Okay, he's really good in school. He's gonna be a doctor. Pediatrician, to be exact. His parents are extremely involved in their local church. He himself helps out with Sunday school. He speaks Korean fluently, he respects his parents. And he's also really cute, very funny, and surprisingly interesting.
Rory: Lane, I'm sorry, but I'm totally failing to see the problem here.
Lane: I'm falling for a guy my parents would approve of! They'd love him! They'd go crazy! There'd be dancing in the Kim house! Dancing!
Rory: Really?
Lane: Followed by a lot of praying. But initially, there'd be dancing. This is horrible. It can't happen. I have to stop it. We need to go.

Lane: Maybe he has a girlfriend.
Rory: Lane.
Lane: A tiny, perfect Korean girl that his parents will love and approve of.
Rory: Lane, you are a tiny, perfect Korean girl that his parents will approve of.
Lane: No, they'd know.
Rory: Know what?
Lane: Know I listen to the wrong music and wish I could go blond without looking bad. Or that I'd take a Whopper over kimchi in a heartbeat.
Rory: Now you're just going crazy.
Lane: So he doesn't like me, he won't call. It's not the end of the world. I'll live. I'll go on. There's always college, unless my parents get their way and then it's, "I take thee, Jesus, to be my lawful wedded husband."