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‘Dead Uncles and Vegetables’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Gilmore Girls: Dead Uncles and Vegetables

217. Dead Uncles and Vegetables

Aired April 16, 2002

Lorelai helps Luke out at the cafe as he arranges a funeral for his late uncle. Meanwhile, Emily gives Sookie some ideas for her wedding.

Quote from Michel

Michel: Nine rooms for Luke from Luke's diner?
Lorelai: That's right.
Michel: French Fry convention?
Lorelai: No, just personal.
Michel: Milkshake symposium?
Lorelai: No, it's personal and I'm vouching for him.
Michel: Soda pop seminar?
Lorelai: Stop.
Michel: Pickle party?

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Quote from Michel

Michel: That fellow's on the phone from the restaurant.
Lorelai: Who?
Michel: The flannel man with the protruding ankles.
Lorelai: Oh, Luke.
Michel: I forgot his name from the desk to here. That's how memorable he is.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: We're running out of coffee.
Luke: I'll make some more.
Lorelai: No, I got it.
Luke: Do you know how?
Lorelai: Do I? I'm Cathy Coffee, mister, the bastard offspring of Mrs. Folger and Juan Valdez.

Quote from Emily

Emily: Where are you going?
Lorelai: To talk to Luke.
Emily: Can't you call him back?
Lorelai: Have your third taste.
Emily: Lorelai! Is she always this scattered?
Sookie: She's the stablest person I know.
Emily: That's very sad.

Quote from Sookie

Emily: What do you mean they're for your wedding?
Sookie: Oh, it's this company's sample place setting. Emily set me up with them. They did Celine Dion's wedding and Steven Spielberg's daughter's Jack Russell Terrier's 'bark' mitzvah.
Lorelai: You're putting me on.
Sookie: I couldn't make that up.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: Haven't you already tasted that soup twice, Mom?
Emily: You keeping a running count?
Lorelai: I'm morbidly fascinated.
Emily: Well, Lorelai, when you're tasting anything, the first taste acclimates the palate, the second establishes a foundation, and the third is to make your decision.
Lorelai: Ooh, there's gonna be a third one.
Emily: Isn't it what this is for, to taste the soup?
Lorelai: Taste them, yes. Not to orally deduce their chemical structures.
Emily: Everything has to be at your pace.
Lorelai: Or a pace that can't be measured by the number of times the earth circles the sun.

Quote from Emily

Emily: So, tell me more about your wedding.
Lorelai: Oh, we just started planning, there's not much to tell.
Emily: Well, have you decided on anything yet? Location or the music for the ceremony?
Sookie: We'll probably just, you know, wind up playing something off a CD.
Emily: Oh.
Sookie: What?
Emily: Well, CD's can be very unreliable. They break sometimes or they skip or the person assigned to turn them on and off gets distracted and the whole ceremony is ruined.
Sookie: I hadn't thought of that.

Quote from Luke

Luke: I'm on the phone.
Lorelai: We noticed.
Luke: Yeah, I can't serve and be on the phone.
Rory: We noticed that, too.
Luke: But your reenactment of Jerry Lewis in The Diner Guy is going to wow the critics.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: I don't want to take away your fun. I just want you to be careful. See, you've entered "Emily-land".
Sookie: "Emily-land"?
Lorelai: It's an upside-down world where the Horchow house is considered low-rent and diamonds less than 24 carats are Cracker Jack trinkets and Bentleys are for losers who can't afford a Rolls.

Quote from Lorelai

Rory: Taylor's wigging.
Lorelai: I know, he's been sitting there like the final days of Dick Nixon for an hour.

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