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Gilmore Girls: Normal Mailer, I'm Pregnant

506. Normal Mailer, I'm Pregnant

Aired October 26, 2004

After Lorelai invites a consultant to review business at the Dragonfly inn, Sookie is angry about a proposal to stop serving lunch - especially when writer Norman Mailer repeatedly visits the restuarant and only orders iced tea. Rory tries to find the right topic for the school newspaper.

Quote from Sookie

Lorelai: Everything okay?
Sookie: Sure. And I'm thrilled and delighted that Norman Mailer is coming in here every day and sitting at a table for four and ordering nothing at all, but tea!
Lorelai: Tea?
Sookie: Iced tea. Glass after glass after glass!
Lorelai: I'm sure he orders more than iced tea.
Sookie: Are you, now?
Lorelai: All right, you make great iced tea. I mean, legendary, so can you blame him?
Sookie: All I know is when Billy Joel came in to the Independence Inn, he would pack it away. Appetizers! Main course! Two, three desserts! That was a man that knew how to eat! And he was almost able to hide it.
Lorelai: Yes, but have you ever read his novels?

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Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: Norman Mailer's back, for the third time this week!
Sookie: Yep, sure is.
Lorelai: This is so exciting. I've got to call and tell Rory. You know, she read The Naked and the Dead while she was still wearing footsie pajamas.
Sookie: Chicken's burning!
Lorelai: Oh, this is our first step on the road to being Solon. I mean, as soon as word gets out that Norman Mailer is having lunch at the Dragonfly, it's just a matter of time before the rest of the literati comes sweeping in.
Sookie: Sounds great.
Lorelai: Well, of course, we'll have to keep Gore Vidal on the other side of the room, but, you know, probably Gabriel Garcia Marquez will run interference for us.

Quote from Sookie

Lorelai: What are you doing?
Sookie: She's taking my lunches away.
Lorelai: She's trying to help us.
Sookie: This is all Norman Mailer's fault. He just sits around, ordering nothing and yammering on and on and on. I mean, so he was married to Marilyn Monroe. Who wasn't?
Lorelai: That was Arthur Miller.
Sookie: I'm going to kick him and pinch his nose.

Quote from Michel

Lorelai: It's a beautiful one and a half mile hike, there's a waterfall around this bend here, and over here are some of the oldest birch trees in the area, a rare butterfly nature preserve is off to the right here. Oh, excuse me. Michel, would you take over?
Michel: Oh, yes. Of course. Okay, so over here, by this semi-polluted brook, you will find large scary spiders and a fascinating display of poison ivy.

Quote from Paris

Paris: Rory, listen to me. We're close, like, friends, and I would hate for something as trivial as competition for the religion beat to come between us.
Rory: Oh, my God, I don't want the religion beat!
Paris: We could end up like the Van Burens.
Rory: As in Mr. and Mrs. President?
Paris: As in Abby and Ann.
Rory: Right.
Paris: Sisters in blood, but bitter rivals. They don't even speak anymore.
Rory: That's 'cause one of them is dead.

Quote from Lorelai

Maid: Hello.
Lorelai: Hi, we should be on the guest list. Halston and Liza are expecting us.

Quote from Sookie

Sookie: Sorry to break up the party, but as of now, there's no more lunch! Yeah! It's been cancelled. You happy, Norman Mailer? Huh? Lunch has been cancelled! That means no more iced tea, uh-uh. No more lemon slices. No more hanging out at a restaurant, ordering nothing because you're Norman Mailer and you can. I mean, that's just like me coming into a bookstore, reading your books, without buying them. Hey, can I borrow this? Huh? I'm not going to pay for it, nope. I'm just going to stand here and read. Ooh, yeah. Someone sure likes to use his big words.
Lorelai: Can I get some more iced tea for the table? Excuse me, Mr. Mailer, I'm so terribly sorry.

Quote from Sookie

Sookie: This is his fault!
Lorelai: It is not his fault.
Sookie: He takes up space. He drinks iced tea! He scares the other people off.
Lorelai: Sookie, he does not. Why are you being so nutty about this?
Sookie: I don't know! I don't know why I'm getting so nutty about this! I mean, I hear myself getting nutty and I know that there's no one coming for lunch. And I know that Norman Mailer is not responsible for no one coming for lunch. And I tell myself it's just temporary, and there's still dinner, and breakfast, and that's good, and I can do a lot with that, and I try to calm myself down and that just seems to only make me crazier and all I want to do is cry, and scream, and- Oh, My God, I'm pregnant!
Lorelai: [gasps] You're pregnant?
Sookie: Ooh, I'm pregnant! Oh, oh. [hugs Lorelai and then runs out into the dining room] Norman Mailer, I'm pregnant!
Norman Mailer: Congratulations.

Quote from Michel

Michel: Which brings you to the rattlesnake curve, where people have actually died painful but very picturesque deaths.

Quote from Lorelai

Luke: Ready?
Lorelai: Almost.
Lorelai: I just have to find my keys, and finish the laundry.
Luke: That doesn't sound like almost, that sounds like we're gonna have to speed to the movies, park illegally, you hit the bathroom while I grab the popcorn, we'll meet back at the seats all sweaty and aggravated.
Lorelai: Well, of course I'll be aggravated, you forgot the Red Vines.

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