Sarah McCool Quotes Page 1 of 7    

Quote from Episode One

Sarah: Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not enjoying this bomb.
Joe: Shocking.
Mary: Desperate.
Sarah: Disgusting and disgraceful. I have an appointment in Tropicana at 12:00. 15 minutes in the stand up. But sure, I'll not get over the bridge at this rate. It's going to play havoc with my build-up. This is what they want. They want ordinary people to suffer. This is what it's all about.
Erin: I'm pretty sure interfering with your sunbed sessions isn't very high up on anyone's political agenda, Aunt Sarah.
Sarah: I wouldn't be so sure.


Quote from The Concert

News Presenter: [on TV] SDLP leader John Hume has again called for cross party peace talks...
Sarah: John's really dying for peace, like, isn't he? It's all he ever goes on about. I hope it works out for him.
Mary: Aye, I sort of hope it works out for all of us, Sarah.

Quote from Episode Five

Sarah: Listen, Mary, I just did a reading. The cards say if we go on this wee holiday, we're placing ourselves in grave danger, which I'm not buzzing about, to be honest.
Erin: You're not psychic, Aunt Sarah.
Sarah: I am psychic, Erin. I did a course. I got a certificate. Aye, this does not look good.
Joe: Still no sign of the lottery numbers?
Sarah: No, Daddy, this psychic carry-on, it's not all it's cracked up to be, you know? Last night, I woke up to this... wailing sound. I thought to myself, "Jesus, it's Granny Pat, she's trying to cross over." Now, it turned out it was only Aggie next door. She'd put the electric blanket on full whack and scalded the legs o' herself. But still, it could just as easily have been...
Erin: The disembodied spirit of a dead relative?
Sarah: Exactly. My nerves are wrecked. I am living on a knife's edge here. Is there any Rice Krispies?

Quote from Episode Six

Erin: She basically told us we can't print the story because it's about a lesbian.
Sarah: Do you not think there's an awful lot of lesbians about nowadays? You can't move for lesbians. It's wall-to-wall lesbians out there.

Quote from Across the Barricade

News Presenter: [on TV] Because of government restrictions, we cannot broadcast the voice of Mr. Adams. His words are spoken by an actor.
Actor's Voice: [on TV] Well, with respect, and I mean...
Gerry: I will never understand the point of it.
Joe: I'll never understand the point of you.
Gerry: Grand so. [doorbell rings]
Erin: I'll go.
Actor's Voice: [on TV] ...agree about the need to see an end to all acts of violence. I want to see that.
Sarah: It's because his natural voice is actually very seductive. Apparently, he sounds like a West Belfast Bond. As far as the English are concerned, a voice like that... Well, it's dangerous.
Gerry: Just so I'm clear, are you saying that the British government dub the voice of Gerry Adams because it's too sexy?
Joe: It's like a fine whiskey. And I have that on good authority, boy.

Quote from The President

Sarah: Tell me this, wains. How were the eyebrows?
Erin: What do you mean?
Sarah: The eyebrows. Were they looking well?
Erin: I didn't really notice her eyebrows.
Sarah: Cathy Maguire had the best eyebrows in Derry back in her day. She'd could have given Joan Crawford a run for her money. Isn't that right, Mary?
Mary: I've no time for Cathy Maguire. The woman abandoned her own wain, Sarah. She always was one cold, self-serving wee madam.
Sarah: I'm not talking about her. I'm talking about her eyebrows. Cathy and her eyebrows are two separate entities.
Mary: All right, don't be getting worked up.
Sarah: Well, I just think you should be able to compliment a woman's eyebrows without having her personality dragged into it.

Quote from The Concert

Gerry: Why does Jim across the road have a tranquilizer gun?
Sarah: His brother had an awful lot of bother with devil worshippers.
Gerry: Excuse me?
Sarah: Aye, they sent up camp on his farm and he couldn't shift them for love nor money, so Jim bought a couple of guns and just...
Gerry: What? Shot them?
Sarah: Aye. I think it worked, you know?
Gerry: I imagine it would, yeah.
Mary: I'm not convinced they were devil worshippers, you know?
Sarah: Sure their hair had never seen a brush and they were head to toe in tie dye, Mary.

Quote from Episode Five

Sarah: So, heads, the wee 'Ra man comes with us. Tails, we leave him.
Mary: Aye, ready?
Joe: Go on, then. [coin rattles]
James: What is that? A fish?
Orla: A dolphin, is it?
Clare: It sort of looks like Moby Dick, actually.
Mary: Ah, shite, I used a punt, didn't I?
Michelle: What's on the other side?
Joe: A harp.
Erin: So harp must be the head and fish must be the tail?
Orla: Oh, well, that makes sense, yeah, because fish have tails.
Sarah: Why don't we just do it again with real money?
Mary: This is real money, Sarah.
Sarah: You know what I mean. Normal money.

Quote from The Night Before

News Anchor: [on TV] Once again, the Maze was the focal point of a troubled peace process today, as Mo Mowlam arrived for a visit that has been variously described as mad or brave.
Mo Mowlam: [on TV] If we manage to get people round the table on Monday...
Aunt Sarah: God, she's a ballsy wee thing, isn't she?
Ma Mary: I've said it before and I'll say it again, if anyone's gonna sort that lot out it'll be a woman.

Quote from The Affair

Aunt Sarah: Shauna Sharkey's niece works for the company, you see.
Ma Mary: Right.
Aunt Sarah: Every voucher entitles you to a free item of make-up, a lip liner, a mascara...
Ma Mary: Shite!
Aunt Sarah: eyebrow pencil or what have you. I nearly took her hand off, Mary.
Ma Mary: This is all I need. Gerry!
Aunt Sarah: But there's a catch.
Ma Mary: I thought there might be.
Aunt Sarah: The retailer will accept one voucher per customer only. Now, what that means, Mary...
Ma Mary: I know what it means, Sarah. Gerry!
Aunt Sarah: It means I can't hand over 22 vouchers and say, "Give us items."
Ma Mary: No? Gerry!
Aunt Sarah: But if we were to head up to town with a bag of disguises.
Ma Mary: Bag of disguises?
Aunt Sarah: Couple of quick changes in the Richmond Centre toilets.
Ma Mary: No chance!

Next Page