Gerry: Do I want to know why you're reading a book on the Russian Revolution?
Aunt Sarah: Ach, it's just one of my wee interests.
Gerry: Really?
Aunt Sarah: I've always been into Russia, Gerry, you know that.
Gerry: I know you had a furry hat once.
Aunt Sarah: It's been 20 years since I've seen some of these girls. Back then, everybody thought I was a bimbo.
Gerry: No!
Aunt Sarah: But tonight they'll realise how wrong they were.
Gerry: Or they'll wonder why you're harping on about Rasputin.

Aunt Sarah: Janette Joyce formerly O'Shea knocked about with us.
Mary: Until she bagged her medical student boyfriend. We weren't good enough for the likes of Janette, then. Oh, no.
Aunt Sarah: He's a surgeon now. He took out Orla's tonsils.
Orla: And is point-blank refusing to give them back.

Mary: Oh, and I got you a new suit. I've laid it on the bed, you need to try it on.
Gerry: A new suit?
Mary: Dunnes were having a sale.
Gerry: Even so, it's a lot of fuss for a school reunion, isn't it? I mean, new suits, the Battle of Stalingrad, who are you trying to impress?
Mary: Nobody.
Aunt Sarah: Janette Joyce, formerly O'Shea.
Mary: I am not trying to impress Janette Joyce formerly O'Shea! I couldn't give a shit about Janette Joyce formerly O'Shea!
Gerry: Who's Janette Joyce formerly O'Shea?
Mary: I don't wanna talk about Janette Joyce formerly O'Shea.

Aunt Sarah: Make us a cup of tea, will you, Mary? I'd do it myself, but the Bolsheviks are just about to kick off.

Sister Michael: Good evening, ladies.
Gerry: Good evening, Sister.
Mary: I didn't know you were coming, Sister.
Sister Michael: No, I mean, we're not really expected to attend the reunions, but I couldn't help myself tonight. The past pupils here are just so...
Mary: Well, that's...
Sister Michael: ...untrustworthy.
Mary: I see.
Sister Michael: And there's a lot of valuable items in the building, paintings and the like, so, I think it's wise to keep an eye. I'll be carrying out random searches throughout the night. Enjoy yourselves, ladies.
Mary: We'll try.

Gerry: What's happened here?
Mary: Starting a healthy eating plan, Gerry.
Gerry: What?!
Aunt Sarah: No sugar, no dairy, no carbs, no meat.
Gerry: That's not a healthy eating plan, that's a no eating plan!
Mary: Don't be so dramatic, Gerry. We can have oranges.
Gerry: Oranges?
Mary: We can have as many oranges as we like.
Gerry: We can't survive on oranges alone, girls!

Mary: We've no choice, Gerry.
Aunt Sarah: We both need to drop a dress size before this school reunion.
Gerry: The school reunion is tonight, isn't it?
Mary: That's right.
Gerry: And the orange diet started when?
Mary: About 20 minutes ago.
Aunt Sarah: 25, maybe.
Gerry: Oh, sure, you're laughing, then.

Erin: We got it!
Mary: Brilliant, let's hear it.
Erin: So, if you were to jump up and down on the spot for an hour straight you'd burn 500 calories.
Mary: How much weight is that?
Erin: So, there is six hours until the reunion starts, you'll need an hour or so to get ready...
Aunt Sarah: An hour? That wean's not well.
Erin: ..which leaves... five hours? So, 500 calories by five hours...
Mary: Is how much weight?
Erin: 500 times five...
Orla: What are we doing, Erin?
Mary: Cut to the chase, girls! How many pounds can we lose?
Erin: Almost one.
Mary: Almost one?! Is that it? Are you sure?
Orla: The numbers never lie, Aunt Mary.

Mary: Is there another way we can shift half a stone before eight o'clock?
Gerry: Cut off a leg?

Erin: Have you decided what you're wearing yet?
Aunt Sarah: I've narrowed it down to two.
Mary: Dresses?
Aunt Sarah: Rails.