Erin: She basically told us we can't print the story because it's about a lesbian.
Sarah: Do you not think there's an awful lot of lesbians about nowadays? You can't move for lesbians. It's wall-to-wall lesbians out there.

Sister Michael: Lovely, altogether. You know, every year I sit backstage listening to the singers and it really makes me realise just how talented the professionals who originally recorded these tracks were. Now, who's on next?

James: I support gays, even though I myself am not actually gay.

Mary: All I'm saying is I find it difficult to believe.
Sarah: But it's the truth, Mary.
Mary: Really?
Sarah: Honest to God.
Mary: So if I was to go next door and open that washing basket of yours...
Sarah: You wouldn't find any darks. What, do you think I'm holding out on you?
Mary: I don't know what to believe.
Sarah: Listen, I've plenty of coloureds. You're welcome to my coloureds.
Mary: I'm not interested in your coloureds, Sarah. It's darks I need. Oh, listen, Da.
Joe: Do not be starting at me about darks, Mary. I've given you whatever darks I have. Stick on a half load and be done with it, woman.
Mary: A half load goes against everything I stand for. You know that, Da.

Orla: Lesbians really do exist!

Sister Michael: Can I have your attention, please, ladies? Get down. Get down. I've just received a phone call from Louise Kerr's mother, and it's not looking great.
Jenny: Oh, God, I just can't believe it.
Sister Michael: It's unlikely she'll be returning to school before the end of the year, so I think the only thing we
can do now is...
Aisling: Pray for her?
Sister Michael: No. What use would that do?

Michelle: Read all about the wee dyke.

Sister Michael: What's going on?
Jenny: Erin Quinn and her friends are handing out their magazine. They're ignoring the ban, Sister. You need to put a stop to it. [Sister Michael turns and walks away] Sister, didn't you hear me?
Sister Michael: Do you know what, Jenny? I don't think I did. [grabs a copy]

Michelle: Isn't this mad?
James: It's all anyone's talking about.
Michelle: Everyone's buzzing to find out who she is.
James: Well, if she ever does reveal herself, she'll basically be a celebrity.
Michelle: Excuse me. Excuse me, everybody. Excuse me. Excuse me. Yeah. I just want to say, that if you're looking for the wee lezzer, look no further, because here she is. Love women. Can't get enough of the ladies. Big fan of the fandango. Huge. Massive.

Erin: Michelle's running round saying it's her, that she wrote the story, that she's the wee lesbian. As if, like. There'd be more chance of it being you.
Clare: It is me.
Erin: No, I mean I'd be less surprised if it was you.
Clare: It is.
Erin: No, it's not, but if it was...
Clare: Erin! It's me. I'm the wee... lesbian.
Erin: Aye, so you are, Clare!
Clare: I'm not joking.
Erin: You're... You're a lesbian?
Clare: I've never been brave enough to say it out loud before, but I think that's why I wrote the story, and then it all got too real, I got too scared, but now, well, you've made me realise it's all OK.
Erin: Don't blame me.
Clare: What?