Sister Michael Quotes Page 1 of 5

Quote from Across the Barricade

Father Peter: Now, back to similarities. Yes?
Michelle: Ah, protestants are richer.
Father Peter: OK, so that's another difference. And I'm not sure that's actually... I mean, is that true?
Sister Michael: I would say so.
Janet Taylor: Yeah, I suppose that's fair enough.
Father Peter: Yes, great. Off you go.
Jon: Catholics really buzz off statues and we don't so much.
Sister Michael: I do enjoy a good statue, it has to be said.

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Quote from Ms De Brún and the Child of Prague

Sister Michael: Now, what else was there? Yes. Sadly, Sister Patrick has decided to leave us. She's returning to her missionary work, educating the heathen inhabitants of a primitive and savage place.
Miss Mooney: She's taking a teaching post in Belfast, Sister.
Sister Michael: Precisely. The Board of Governors promised me that her replacement would arrive today, but as usual they were talking out of their... [door bangs]
Ms. De Brún: I believe you've been expecting me.
Sister Michael: [rolls eyes] Here we go.

Quote from Episode Six

Sister Michael: Lovely, altogether. You know, every year I sit backstage listening to the singers and it really makes me realise just how talented the professionals who originally recorded these tracks were. Now, who's on next?

Quote from Episode Four

Father Conway: And today we welcome some very special guests, the weans from Chernobyl, who've come over to give their wee lungs a bit of a clear out, because, ah, sure, there's all sorts wafting about in their neck of the woods. Sister.
Sister Michael: Lovely job so far, Seamus, but, you know, keep it moving. Rawhide's on in 15 minutes. Now, one might well question the wisdom of sending you here, of all places. Out of the frying pan into the... Well, maybe not the fire, but certainly a different type of frying pan. Or some sort of wok at the very least. But please don't worry yourselves too much about the whole civil war, sectarian conflict carry-on. There's really only thing you need to know. We're the goodies. Welcome to Derry.

Quote from The Prom

Sister Michael: OK, just a couple of things. Firstly, I'd like to introduce Mae Cheung. Can you make yourself known, please, Mae? Miss Cheung's family have recently moved here to Derry so I hope you'll all make her feel very welcome. It's bound to be a bit of a culture shock, Mae. Things are done... differently in this part of the world. But I'm sure you'll soon feel as at home here as you did back in your beloved Donegal. Announcement from Jenny Joyce and the dance committee. "The school social event of the year is fast approaching, but before you don your glad rags... and boogie on dow..." I'm sorry, I simply cannot read this.

Quote from The President

Sister Michael: Just one announcement today, girls. I'm sure many of you have guessed what it's about. Although tomorrow is not officially a public holiday, schools across the city have decided to view it as such. Because tomorrow, the President of the United States of America is coming here, to Derry. You're a little young to perhaps understand the enormity of this. A few short months ago, this would have been unimaginable. But here we are. And I for one can barely believe it. I mean, people in this place stop killing each other for five minutes and the whole world loses the absolute run of itself. This visit concerns me for a number of reasons, girls, but mostly because I am scared it will give the Pope ideas, and that's the last thing I need. No. Our Lady Immaculate will play no part in this farce. And I expect to see you all here tomorrow morning, business as usual. Is that clear? Is that clear?
All: Yes.
Sister Michael: The Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

Quote from Episode One

Sister Michael: Thank you. Thank you, girls. Some lovely sentiments there. Some very beautiful words. Unfortunately, that's all they are, sentiments and words. What you've just witnessed is a piece of fiction. The reality, I'm sorry to say, is much harsher, far more brutal. So let me take this opportunity to advise all our new girls to keep their guard up. Watch their back. [microphone feedback] Oh, speaking of pupils who need to watch their back, I'd like to introduce James Maguire. Show yourself, please, James. [James raises his hand] James will be the first ever boy to study here at Our Lady Immaculate College. [wolf whistle from the audience] He was due to start at Christian Brother Boys, but there were serious concerns for his safety because, well, unfortunately, James happens to be English. [laughter] But let me make one thing clear... I will not have a repeat of the Mr. Mullin affair. Is that understood?
James: [to Michelle] What's the Mr. Mullin affair?
Michelle: Student teacher. Two fourth-years cable-tied him to the monkey bars and started dry riding him. He was really good-looking, so you've nothing to worry about.

Quote from Episode One

Erin: If I leave now, I might still catch David.
Clare: What if Sister Declan wakes up?
Orla: It's funny how she sleeps with her eyes wide open, isn't it?
Erin: What?
[Sister Michael walks in the room and finds Erin halfway out the window, James pissing in a bucket, Orla cradling Sister Duncan's lifeless head, Clare eating a sandwich, and Michelle holding Sister Duncan's handbag]
Sister Michael: Sweet suffering Jehovah!
James: [groans]

Quote from Episode One

Sister Michael: If you could all just take a seat.
Deidre: Sorry I'm late, sister. Couldn't get over the bridge. This bloody bomb. I begged the Brits to let me take my chances, but the awkward bastards made me go the long way.
Joe: Health and safety gone mad, Deidre.
Deidre: What are you playing at, rifling through a dead nun's handbag?
Michelle: She stole my lipstick, Mammy.
Deidre: Don't lie. Sister Declan was a woman of God.
Sister Michael: Actually, she was known to be a bit light-fingered.

Quote from Episode Two

Sister Michael: Before I dismiss you for the weekend, a few announcements. On Monday morning, several of our Year 13s will face their GCSE maths resit. Now, I know how daunting resit examinations can be, so if anyone is feeling anxious or worried, or even if you just want to chat, please, please, do not come crying to me. Let me see, what else?
Michelle: [to herself] Come on, come on, come on to fuck!
Sister Michael: Notice from Mr. McCauley. This year's destination for the Euro Trotters trip will be dramatic pause... Did you actually want me to do the dramatic pause? [Mr. McCauley nods] Interesting. Paris, it's going to be Paris. If you need any further information, there is a stall in the foyer. Sadly, I am unable to come on this one as I despise the French. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

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