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The Agreement

‘The Agreement’

Season 3, Episode 7 - Aired May 18, 2022

Erin and Orla turn 18 just in time to vote on the Good Friday Agreement.

Quote from Aunt Sarah

News Anchor: [on TV] Some of the proposed reforms have proved extremely controversial, particularly the early release of paramilitary prisoners. And now, with only days until the referendum takes place, voters across the country must get to grips with this booklet, a 30-page document laying out the Good Friday Agreement in simple terms...
Joe: Simple terms! Simple terms my arse. I've read through thon introduction 30 bloody times. I'm still none the wiser.
Mary: [opens microwave] Wow.
Aunt Sarah: Well, according to Shauna Sharkey, if you vote yes, you're allowed to swing both ways.
Gerry: What's that now?
Aunt Sarah: Well, you can be Irish, you can be British, or you can be bi.
Gerry: OK, I don't think "bi" is the correct term.
Joe: Says here you can hold both passports.
Mary: Two passports? That'd come in handy. I'm forever losing mine. I think I wouldn't mind being bi, you know.


Quote from Granda Joe

Joe: Right, as far as I can make out, this thing has two main aims. Firstly, to stop us all killing one another.
Aunt Sarah: Fair enough.
Joe: And secondly, to allow us to govern ourselves from here, rather than England.
Aunt Sarah: From Derry?
Joe: I would say so.
Gerry: Would it not be more likely to be Belfast? Belfast is the capital.
Mary: Aye, but that was an oversight, Gerry.

Quote from Granda Joe

Joe: Er, the release of all paramilitary prisoners, both flavours.
[Joe points to two different packets of Tayto Cheese & Onion crisps]
Gerry: Both flavours?
Mary: Loyalist and Republican.
Gerry: Of course.
Mary: This is what I don't understand. What happens to the lads when they get out? I mean, what does an ex-paramilitary do?
Joe: Gardening.
Gerry: Gardening?
Joe: Have you any better suggestions?

Quote from Uncle Colm

Colm: You can vote yes, or, you can vote no.
Gerry: Well, they are the only two options, Colm.
Colm: That's not strictly true, now, Gerry, for you can spoil your vote.
Gerry: Right.
Colm: I knew a fella once, Tommy Duddy, he spoiled his vote. Now this would have been back in, ach... we're talking '88, '89. Or was it '90?
Gerry: I don't care, Colm.
Colm: '90, at a push. Now, when I say he spoiled his vote, what he actually did was eat the ballot paper.
Gerry: What?
Colm: Swallowed the thing whole, so he did. People thought he was trying to make some sort of political statement, but that wasn't the case at all. Tommy was just an awful man for the paper. Couldn't get enough of the stuff. I'll tell you, if you didn't keep your eye on him, he'd have got the very Yellow Pages down him.
Joe: Tommy Duddy, is it?
Colm: Aye.
Joe: Took a bite out of my crossword once.

Quote from James

Michelle: In fact, Cool Runnings is probably one of my favourite films.
Jenny: Right. I haven't seen that one.
Aisling: Me either.
Tomas: Nor me, I'm afraid.
James: We have to leave.
Michelle: Shh!
James: They haven't seen Cool Runnings, Michelle. I don't trust these people.

Quote from Uncle Colm

Colm: As far as sausage rolls go, well, I could take them or leave them, but that's not to say I don't appreciate the work that goes into them.
Maureen Malarkey: Look, Colm, no offence, but I listened to the prawn cocktail monologue. I'm not getting into sausage rolls.
Colm: For there was a fella that lived on my street, and, well, he was a pastry chef. He's dead now. This was when he was alive.
Maureen Malarkey: I only came over for a bloody napkin.
Gerry: I'm sorry, I can't actually believe that I'm about to say this, but can I speak to him on my own for a moment?
Maureen Malarkey: Thank you, son. Thank you.

Quote from Granda Joe

Joe: Hello, love.
Erin: Did you get your head around this referendum thing yet?
Joe: I did, aye.
Erin: And what do you think?
Joe: Hm. Oh, it doesn't matter what I think. Sure, I'm an old man. It's what you think that's important.
Erin: People died. Innocent people died, Granda. They were someone's mother, father, daughter, son. Nothing can ever make that OK. And the people who took those lives, they're just gonna walk free. You know, what if we do it, and it was all for nothing? What if we vote yes, and it doesn't even work?
Joe: And what if it does? What if no-one else has to die? What if all this becomes a... a ghost story you'll tell your wains one day? Hmm? A ghost story they'll hardly believe.

Quote from Michelle

Boy: 10p mix, please.
Michelle: That'll be 12 pence.
Boy: 12 pence for a 10p mix?
Dennis: It's called inflation, dickhead.
Michelle: Now get out!

Quote from Aunt Sarah

Joe: They get rid of the British Army.
Aunt Sarah: What will happen to the barracks?
Joe: Now, there's no mention of the barracks.
Aunt Sarah: It would make a great wee shopping centre.
Joe: We get a new police force.
Aunt Sarah: Different uniforms as well, I hope. I mean if they want Catholics to join, they're gonna have to find something that works with our complexion.

Quote from Erin

James: So... we're all 18 now. We're all officially adults. So tell me, Erin, how does that make you feel?
Erin: Good.
James: Very profound.
Erin: No, shut up. No, it's good. It's exciting.
James: Yeah?
Erin: Yeah. And maybe a wee bit scary too, you know. There's a part of me that wishes everything could just stay the same. That we could all just stay like this forever. There's a part of me that doesn't really want to grow up. I'm not sure I'm ready for it. I'm not sure I'm ready for the world.
Margaret Thatcher: [archive footage] Crime is crime is crime. It is not political, it is crime.
Erin: But things can't say the same, and they shouldn't.
John Hume: [archive footage] I think a real and historic opportunity now exists to take the gun out of Irish politics forever.
Erin: No matter how scary it is, we have to move on, and we have to grow up, because things... well, they might just change for the better.
[polling booth montage: Joe enters the booth with Baby Anna. Mary votes yes. Father Peter. Aunt Sarah inspects her nails. Joe shows his yes vote to Anna. Gerry. Deidre. Geraldine. Sister Michael. Dennis. Eammon. Colm. Jim.]
Erin: So we have to be brave.
[polling booth montage continues: Chief Inspector Byers]
David Cameron: [archive footage] What happened on Bloody Sunday was both unjustified and unjustifiable. On behalf of the Government, indeed, on behalf of our country, I am deeply sorry. [cheering]
Neil Young: [archive footage] My name is Neil Young, brother of John, who was murder on Bloody Sunday, and has now been vindicated as innocent!
Erin: And if our dreams get broken along the way... we have to make new ones from the pieces.
James: You should write that down.
Erin: Well, maybe I will someday.
[polling booth montage continues: Erin votes yes, James votes yes, Claire votes yes, Michelle votes yes, Orla chews her pencil and votes yes with a smiley face]
Man: [v.o.] Yes... 71.12%.
News Anchor: [v.o.] A record-breaking turnout, an overwhelming majority. The people of Northern Ireland have spoken. The country has just taken its first step into the future.

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