Jenny: This is a bit awkward, but part of my role as prefect is welcoming the first-year students, and it's come to my attention that there was some sort of an incident on the bus this morning.
Michelle: There was no incident.
Jenny: Apparently, you guys threatened one of the new girls. Said yous was going to beat her up.
Michelle: That's lies.
Jenny: There were quite a few witnesses.
Michelle: No, I mean, we said it, but... ...as a joke, as in, "We're going to beat you up," but, like, in a jokey way.
Jenny: Right. Well, the thing is, that's not actually funny, is it? Like, at all.
Clare: Well, humour is so subjective, really, so...

Jenny: Hi, everyone. This is Artem.
Michelle: Well, hello, Artem. [to Katya] Go on, then.
Katya: [Ukrainian] "She wants to have sex with you."
Jenny: He doesn't say much.
James: Is he... is he tied to you?
Jenny: Yeah, he kept wandering off. Listen, I've a feeling Artem and a few of the others are a bit homesick. It would be nice for them to spend some time together, so I'm having a bit of a soiree at my place tonight. It's going to be great. I've got a chocolate fountain and everything.
Erin: Well, chocolate fountain or not, I'd actually prefer to keep our Ukrainians separate, so...

Jenny: Has anyone seen Artem? I untied him for his toilet privileges half an hour ago and now I can't find him.
Michelle: What?

Ms. De Brún: Here we go. The Flower, by Jenny Joyce.
Jenny: You're not going to read it out, are you?
Ms. De Brún: Of course. Poetry should always be read aloud. "Some flowers are tall. Some flowers are small. Some flowers barely grow at all." Ok.
Jenny: That's not the end.
Ms. De Brún: It should be.

Jenny: Hi, guys. Could I just have a quick chat? [to James] You must be new. I'm Jenny. Great hair. Very bold. I'd love to go that short, but, sure, I don't have the bone structure.
Michelle: He's a fella, Jenny.
Jenny: Oh. I see. Anyhoo...
Michelle: [mocking] "Anyhoo." Seriously, shoot me in the face.

Jenny: A new school can seem like a very scary place...
Clare: [to Erin] Do you think Big Mandy looks more schizo than usual? [both look back]
Jenny: ...but try to think of it this way. Right now, you're like a little seed, and the school is like the soil, a safe and stable environment, within which you can grow.
Aisling: Wow, what a great way to look at it.

Jenny: Bonjour, tout-le-monde. Comment allez-vous?
Michelle: Wise up, Jenny.
Clare: Where do we sign?
Michelle: Hold on! Stall the fucking ball! 375 quid? Are you for real?
Erin: What?! £375 each? Isn't there some sort of group discount?
Jenny: It's not Club 18 to 30.
Michelle: More's the pity.

Jenny: I must admit, I had a bit of an advantage when it came to the whole present buying thing, because...
Michelle: You're loaded.
Jenny: Because I know what they like. I happen to be very good friends with a half-Protestant.
Michelle: What? They don't come in halves, Jenny.
Jenny: They do, actually. I met her at ballet class, her name's Zara. And she has horse.

David: Hi, do you have a playlist for tonight, then?
Jenny: I'll need the sound system set up by seven.
Erin: Is your band playing at this thing tonight?
David: Christ, no, no, I just do a wee bit of deejaying on the side, make a bit of extra cash. Wakka-wakka-cha-ching! My band, we don't really do covers, do you know what I mean? In this game, you need a wee bit of integrity.
Jenny: Now, whatever you do, don't forget the Grease mega mix.

Jenny: Queue to the right-hand side, please. One Chupa Chup per person.