Vicki Dubcek: I have something important to tell you. I've decided to become celibate.
Harry: Ah, you can tell Harry all about it while we're having sex.
Vicki Dubcek: No, Harry, please stop. I've gotta purify myself. I've decided to become a licensed massage therapist. And massage therapy requires a great level of spirituality.
Dick: Whoo! This beats the hell out of that cardboard box!
Harry: So, are you still on that crazy celibacy kick?
Vicki Dubcek: Oh, Harry. Come on. You know how it is. The sex leads to booze, and the booze leads to drugs, and the drugs lead to stealing stuff from my mama.

Psychic: I'm sensing that someone you love is missing.
Vicki Dubcek: How did you know that?
Tommy: You told her on the phone.
Psychic: Did you bring me a lock of his hair?
Vicki Dubcek: Uh, no, ma'am, I didn't, but I've got some letters of his and, uh, this is my Wonderbra. It's his sleep toy.

Psychic: Wait a minute, I've seen this guy.
Tommy: Here we go.
Vicki Dubcek: She's havin' a vision.
Psychic: No, no, I'm not. I saw this guy at the Lapine County Fair.
Vicki Dubcek: Huh. You saw him in your head?
Psychic: No, no. I saw him at the fair. He's working there.
Vicki Dubcek: Well, why don't you lay out some cards and you can tell us more.
Tommy: Wait! No, no, no. She doesn't need to lay out cards. We can go get Harry. Come on.
Vicki Dubcek: Well, Tommy, I guess you were right. This woman is nothin' but a sham.
Tommy: Thank you. You've really been a big help.
Vicki Dubcek: Bitch.

Vicki Dubcek: Hey, guys.
Tommy: Hi, Vicki. What are you doin' here?
Vicki Dubcek: Well, I was just sittin' at home- Hi. I was just sittin' at home feelin' lonesome, and I thought, hey, what the hell? It's never too late to go to your junior prom. [laughs]
Don: I'm not sure that's true.
Vicki Dubcek: [sobs]

[Vicki is haunted by an image of Harry as a baby in a diaper dancing, a la Ally McBeal]
Vicki Dubcek: What do you want from me?!

Vicki Dubcek: Hey. Excuse me. I'd like to add a little something, if I may. Uh, I just feel that this year I have so much to be thankful for. That thing under my armpit went away. And when I was working at Wal-mart and that big stack of boxes fell on me, well, I got workman's comp for eight months, and that's... that's twice as much as my normal salary, so guess you'd have to say that God has been very, very good to me. [sobs]
Dick: Let's eat!

Vicki Dubcek: Harry, you know what? I've been thinking. If it's a girl, it'll look just like me, and if it's a boy, it'll look just like you.
Harry: What if it looks like something you never seen before?
Vicki Dubcek: Now, you know, that does happen. My sister had a baby that looked just like my boyfriend. It was weird, weird.

Vicki Dubcek: Hey, little one, look at you. Oh, yeah. Boy, bet you're gonna be something when you grow up, huh? Postal worker, toll booth operator or maybe even the president... of a fan club. Oh, I envy your parents.

Vicki Dubcek: Get away from that TV.
Harry: Why?
Vicki Dubcek: The electromagnetic field can wreak havoc on your... swim team.

Harry: Oh, Vicki, what happened to you?!
Vicki Dubcek: Well, you don't know what it's like livin' up there with him! I mean, at least on Earth I could fill the void in my soul with malt liquor and Velveeta.