Hyde: I'm screwed, man! WB is in the music industry. They can kill anyone and make it look like an accident. They did it to Mama Cass. They did it to Hendrix. They even took out Buddy Holly to get to the Big Bopper!

[circle:]
Hyde: I can't close my mouth. Can you close your mouth? It's really starting to freak me out. Leo's the best.
Kelso: Leo made me a grilled cheese once. He used butter and made the crust extra toasty. He forgot cheese. I'm gonna miss that grilled-cheese-making son of a bitch.
Jackie: You know, one time, I heard Leo talking on the phone and he was speaking Chinese. So I said, "Leo, stop speaking Chinese." So he turned around, and it wasn't Leo. It was a Chinese guy. [sighs] You know, I'll never forget that.
Fez: I'm just sad I'll never get to see his face when I tell him I did it with Nina. Actually, I'd like to see my face when I do it with Nina. I bet I look like a stallion.
Hyde: So today we sit in this circle in honor of Leo. He was my boss. He was my friend. He was my connection. To Leo.
All: To Leo!

Eric: Okay, that's all the deposit bottles and the aluminum cans. We gotta have at least... $1.15 worth of gas.
Kelso: Come on, my dad's got a ton of empties.
Hyde: [to Red] Man, I can't believe they're gonna waste all their money on a stupid disco when they could buy a really big bag... Of caramels.

Eric: Donna, we don't talk about things in the Forman family. It's not like your house, where every time you have a "feeling", your dad gives you a big hug and a gold star.
Donna: I'm just trying to help you here.
Eric: Well, I don't- Talking isn't gonna help me, okay? What's gonna help me is, like, drinking.
Donna: Well, now you're just being stupid.
Hyde: [enters] Hey, Forman, let's go get wasted.
Donna: Great.
Eric: See? Hyde's a real friend. He's gonna help me get through my grandma's death.
Hyde: Your grandma's dead? Oh, man. Let's go get wasted.

Hyde: Do you now or have you ever had any association with the Point Place Police Department? [man shakes his head] All right. Here's your brownie. You got about 30 minutes to get someplace safe.

Eric: Well, so much for your "He can't stop both of us" theory.
Hyde: This bites, man. He can't keep us out of there. I mean, what, did we wake up in Russia this morning?
Eric: No. We did not, in fact, wake up in Russia this morning.
Hyde: I didn't think so. Hey, let me tell you something, pal. You're propping up a dying system, man. You see, someday soon, people are gonna wake up, and they're gonna realize that most of us don't fit into your Hollywood, Madison Avenue, candy-coated ideal of what's cool. And when we do, we're gonna rise up, we're gonna put you on trial, then parade through the streets with your head on a stick!
Bouncer: Righteous political outrage. You're in.
Hyde: All right. I'll see you later, Forman.

Fez: I'm nervous.
Hyde: Don't be nervous. You'll get sweaty.
Fez: Oh, no. Too late. I can't help it. This is my first official American date.
Hyde: That's why I'm here, Fez. To help you out, man. Unless they're uggos, and then I'm gone.
Fez: There they are, and they're not even uggos.
Hyde: No, they're hot. And the blonde's blonde and hot.
Fez: Yes, and since I set us up on this date, she's mine, right?
Hyde: Well, I can see why you'd think that, but actually, since I came along to help you out, American custom dictates that I get the blonde.
Fez: Once again, the local custom bones the foreign guy.
Hyde: America, man. Love it or leave it.

Hyde: Hey, man. All right. Check this out, okay? Friend of mine's having a wedding this weekend, and I told him that I'd be the photographer.
Leo: Oh, cool, man. I remember my wedding. It was magical, man. Chicks and booze everywhere.
Hyde: And I'd be willing to miss all that chicky-boozy fun to take pictures, you know? But, Leo, man, I got a problem. I can't see through the viewfinder because I have a glass eye.
Leo: How come your eye doesn't look like glass, man?
Hyde: Well, that's 'cause it's special space-age glass.
Leo: Whoa. Your eye was in space? That's awesome, man. [tries to touch Hyde's eye]
Hyde: Okay. So, here's the deal, right? Job pays 10 bucks and half a meatball sub. So I'm missing out on a pretty sweet deal here. Damn you, glass eye.
Leo: Well, hey, I could use the 10 bucks, man, and half a meatball sub. If only I had a camera. [Hyde grabs a camera] Whoa! Hey, it's all coming together, man.

Hyde: Boy, Laurie, you really liked that hot dog. You didn't even chew it.
Laurie: Oh, hey, Hyde, Father's Day is coming up. Shouldn't you practice saying "Hi, are you my daddy?"
Hyde: Oh, by the way, Laurie, the surgeon general called. He wanted you to stop hoarding all the penicillin.
Laurie: You know, when you're in prison, your bad table manners will probably just be a turn-on for some guy named Tank.
Hyde: Oh, well, maybe when you're there for a conjugal visit, you can ask him to take it easy on me.
Laurie: Oh, yeah, well... Nice hair.

Jackie: So, Steven. Would you like to go to Mr. Forman's barbecue with me?
Hyde: No. As a matter of fact, I don't want to go anywhere with you.
Jackie: You know, that's okay. You know what? We can stay in.
Hyde: No, Jackie. Look, I told you, again and again I have no interest in you, and you don't have a chance. And yet, you keep thinking that I have interest in you, and you have a chance.
Jackie: Wait, did you just say that you're interested in me and that I have a chance?
Hyde: Okay. You know what? You've forced me to do this. I'm gonna explain my feelings to you through a highly disciplined form of Japanese poetry: haiku. "My heart aches with pain. When I see you, I vomit. Die away from me."
Donna: Ouch.
Hyde: [chuckles] Sayonara.