[circle:]
Eric: Poor Donna. I think I hurt her pretty bad. Her neck's stuck, just tilted over like this. Yeah, but on the upside, it looks like she's really interested in everything I have to say.
Fez: So she's got a bad neck. Quit whining. I've gone out with girls that don't even have necks. "Hi, Fez."
Kelso: One time, this girl whipped her head around to look at me 'cause I'm hot, and her neck just snapped. And then she collapsed into the jukebox.
Hyde: Kelso, that was The Fonz.
Kelso: Well, where do you think they got it from?
Hyde: Forman, forget being a chiropractor, man. The way I see it, you're diligent, tidy and detail-oriented. So I think you should become a professional butt wiper.
Kelso: Come on, man, this is serious. Eric, you gotta start off slow. First you should be an amateur butt wiper.
Fez: What's wrong with you two? So rude. Eric, I think you should move to Paris. That way you can become a butt wipier.

Eric: Oh. You know what? You guys suck. Whenever you're in trouble, I don't burn you. I mean, you know, usually 'cause it's hard for me to think of things right on the spot, but also 'cause, you know, I try to help.
Donna: That's actually true. I mean, Fez, remember when you wanted to learn how to kiss, and Eric taught you by sticking M&M's to the mirror?
Fez: That never happened. I know how to kiss. Ah, shut it, Donna.
Eric: Yeah, and, Kelso, how about that time I stayed up with you all night to study for that math final? I mean, sure, nothing stuck, but, you know, I blame nature for that.
Kelso: Yep, some people you just can't reach. [knocks on his own head]
Hyde: You know, Forman, if you can teach Fez how to kiss and Kelso how to do math, you can probably teach anybody anything. Why don't you just become a teacher?
Donna: That actually makes a lot of sense. I mean, you have all this knowledge about stuff you have no ability to do.
Eric: A teacher? Well, I do like helping people. I mean, I'd love to help kids. Yeah. Like, "Mr. Forman." That just feels really great. Yeah, a teacher. That just feels so right.

Eric: [to the pull-up bar] Okay, that's it. You're going down. Or, I mean, I'm coming up.

Eric: Hey, great news. I'm on my way to becoming a teacher. I filled out all my college applications in red pen. [chuckles] That's a little... It's like a little teacher joke.

Eric: Okay, look, Donna, I know you're upset...
Donna: Eric, if you wanna break up with me, just go ahead and do it.
Eric: What? No. Donna, I'm not breaking up with you.
Donna: Really? Well, did you consider me at all before you decided to run away to Africa?
Eric: Okay, look, Donna, the reason I'm doing this is for us. Okay, so I can go to college, and get a job, you know. So I can deserve you.
Donna: Don't give me that crap, you're doing it for you.
Eric: Donna, when my dad got sick and I had to stay at home, I thought I'd missed my only chance. But this is it. This is my second chance. And you're always saying how I gotta get out of this town, how I gotta start my life. God, I thought if anyone was gonna support me in this, it was gonna be you.
Donna: So, good. Go start it.
Eric: Look, I really just don't wanna fight about this.
Donna: What do you wanna do?
Eric: Movie?
Donna: And then what?
Eric: Um... I vote the thing we usually do after a movie.
Donna: What's the point of that?
Eric: Well, I don't know. I think that's really its own reward.
Donna: I think you need to leave.

Red: Eric, you remember Charlie.
Eric: Well, I remember a perfectly tossed egg from me, an unconvincing "whoops" from him, and the sound of laughter as some children ran away with my goldfish in a bag.
Charlie: Eric, you put some kind of spin on that egg, it was uncatchable like a curveball.
Eric: Ha. Your whole story's unraveling, man. I can't throw a curveball. Dad, tell him.
Red: I'm gonna have to side with my son on this one. He can't even throw a straight ball.

Charlie: Good morning, Mr. Forman.
Red: Charlie, didn't recognize you without your schoolgirl skirt. Why don't you go drink another warehouse full of beer? Then you can get out of those uncomfortable boy things. [exits]
Eric: Wow, he came in here, just attacked you and completely ignored me. You must be the one the prophet spoke of.
Charlie: Man, I really got off on the wrong foot with your dad. Ah, it'll blow over. How long could he stay mad at a kid, right? [Eric laughs] You know what? Later on, I'm gonna find him and apologize. I'm sure he'll understand.
Eric: Yeah. Hey, if you're looking for a good conversation starter, just say we were probably wrong to go into Vietnam.

Eric: So, Hyde, speaking of annoying women who hit, have you heard anything from Jackie?
Hyde: Nope. That's fine by me, man. I mean, who does she think she is, giving me an ultimatum? "Marry me or I'm moving to Chicago." And then she takes off before I even give her an answer.
Eric: Well, what's the big deal, man? I mean, she pretty much let you off the hook.
Donna: Yeah. I mean, you were gonna say no anyway, unless... Oh, my God! You were gonna say yes.
Hyde: No. What? No.
Eric: Oh, my God. You were gonna marry her.
Donna: You were gonna marry her because you love her. [makes kissing sounds]
Eric: [as Hyde] "Hey, Jackie, you're everything this poor little orphan boy ever needed."
Donna: [as Jackie] "Oh, my God. I really am."
Eric: [as Hyde] "Oh, my God."
Hyde: Hey, I don't love her. You know what love is? Love is for losers who are too afraid to be alone.
Eric: Oh, no, you're thinking of kittens.

Eric: Hey, Donna, look, there's something really important I need you to do for me.
Donna: Eric, I don't care if you're going to Africa. I'm not doing that.
Eric: Please don't let my mom plan this fancy send-off for me, okay? I can just see her planning this embarrassing farewell with, like, music and banners and, like, doves.

Eric: Donna, he's hitting on you.
Donna: He is not. We're just friends. He talks to me, listens to me, shares ideas with me.
Eric: Oh, my God, Donna, you are so naive.
Donna: Eric, just because a guy pays attention to me does not mean he wants to get me naked.
Eric: Oh, grow up!
Donna: Is that why you paid attention to me?
Eric: Of course! [off Donna's look] Not. Of course not. I love your mind. That's the thing I love.