Jonah Simms Quotes     Page 27 of 27

Quote from Customer Satisfaction

Jonah: The whole store was flooded?
Cheyenne: Yeah. It was nuts, and, like, a ton of used needles washed out from under a shelf. Something's been going down in Housewares.
Jonah: Okay, well, we're back and I'm ready, so what else needs to be done? Let's get this crew on it.
Cheyenne: There's not really anything left to do. Most of it's already been done. I mean, I was calling you guys for a while. Where were you?
Jonah: Uh, well, we... We were on a break because we deserved one today.
Justine: Jonah made us go outside and relax. We didn't wanna do it.
Jonah: You came alive out there, Justine. Don't lie.

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Quote from Lowell Anderson

Sandra: Why are you on Emma's social media?
Jonah: I wasn't.
Sandra: Yes, you were. That picture was when she went to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk and wore a gray sweater with a llama on it. Are you stalking Amy?
Jonah: No... I'm not stalking. I just... Look, I-I heard that she was up in the mountains, and I was curious to see if she took the kids, that's all.
Sandra: Hmm, do you think she went up there with a guy?
Jonah: It's none of my business, okay? I was just wondering about Emma. Which is less weird. I think.

Quote from Lowell Anderson

Jonah: [on the phone] Hi, uh... I'm wondering if you have anybody staying in your cabins by the name of Amy Sosa? You don't? Okay. Oh, do you have anybody by the name of Bethany? Sometimes when she travels, she tells people her name is Bethany. It's like her name tag thing, you know?
Sandra: Yeah, that never got old.
Jonah: You do? Oh, um... do you know if, um... if she's there with um... one person, multiple people? I ask because I-I want to send them a long sandwich, and I want to know how long the sandwich should be. Uh-huh. She... She checked in with a-a gentleman.
Sandra: [whispers] What's his name?
Jonah: Sorry, she's... She's what? She's... She's in the parking lot giving lizard tattoos. Okay, thank you so much for your help. [hangs up]
Sandra: Amy's giving lizard tattoos?
Jonah: [sighs] No, Bethany is giving lizard tattoos.
Sandra: Right, "Bethany."
Jonah: No, no, it's not Amy. It's Bethany.
Sandra: Right, not Amy.

Quote from Perfect Store

Jonah: So if we're gonna be putting our best foot forward, should we just be sending our worst employees home?
Amy: Well, I'm worried that if you start pulling that thread, pretty soon...
Jonah: Yeah, no sweater.
Amy: Yeah.

Quote from Perfect Store

Reporter: Today, a new chapter in one of St. Louis's darkest stories. A duffel bag filled with eight severed human feet has turned up inside the Ozark Highlands Cloud store. One employee has agreed to tell us what he knows. Jonah, this is not the first time feet have been found here. In fact, the internet has already dubbed this store Toe-zark Highlands.
Jonah: Is that... Is that so? That's the first I'm hearing of it.
Reporter: Why do you think he or she - but let's be honest, he - sees your store as an ideal dumping ground?
Jonah: Uh, well, Natalie, he probably likes it for the same reason everybody else does, you know. Our fast and friendly service, our convenient parking, and our strong sense of community.
Reporter: I see.
Sandra: [watching on TV] I don't think he answered her question.
Garrett: Yeah, it's a tough pivot.

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