J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Dr. Cox: Sorry to interrupt you there, but I gotta ask you a quick question. Now, when you were born, nay, spawned by the Dark Prince himself, did that rat bastard forget to give you a hug before he sent you along your way? Because you can't just let two good nurses go on account of feeling small and insignificant. And besides, with your money, you ought to be able to keep a man tucked away in the closet and bring him out when you want to knock him around, huh? As you were.

Dr. Cox: That laughing had better not be aimed in my direction, bro.
Turk: Bro? Dude, bros don't even use "bro." You're not as hip as you think you are.
Dr. Cox: And you are?
Turk: I'm black. God knew my people would go through struggles, so he gave us a lifetime supply of cool to compensate. Like he knew white people would be rhythmically challenged and he gave y'all this dance.

Turk: What's up with the white people on top?
Carla: Turk, they don't have tiny plastic interracial couples.
Baker: I'll just color it in with some chocolate frosting.
Turk: Oh, that's a great idea. Put 'em in blackface.
Carla: Turk!
Turk: What? While you're at it, why don't you put a string in the back of him, so when you pull it he sings "Mammy"!
Baker: Forget it.
Turk: Where are you going? To the back of the bakery where you keep all the other colored cakes? I'mma call Jesse! And we gonna march on your ass! [licks frosting] Mm.

J.D.: It's not like nurses know everything.
J.D.: [v.o.] Uh-oh. Carla's gearing up to explode. Save yourself. Attempt the casual side-switch. And you're there. Now angry at Kelso.
J.D.: Bob, how dare you?
Carla: Exactly. You're worried about what I can handle? Vascular Surgery wants an update every two hours on bed 1, I'm weaning Mrs. Jones' dopamine from ten mikes to five, Mrs. Meyerson's abdominal wound is dehiscing and Mr. Wilder is turfed to Psych because he thinks he's Flo from Alice.
Mr. Wilder: Kiss my grits!
Carla: Exactly, Flo! Exactly!
J.D.: I hope you learned something today.

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Nurse Roberts: [on the phone] Well, just run one of the other nurses down here with some bedpans, please.
Woman: Laverne, why can't you do it?
Nurse Roberts: Because I've been here for 23 years and my feet hurt. That's why.