Piama: Francis, look at this Visa bill. What did we say about expenditures over $100?
Francis: I needed a new hat.
Piama: Give me your card.
Francis: Piama, this is stupid.
Piama: Give me your card.

Piama: Here's your tuna sandwich that you wanted.
Francis: Thanks.
Piama: I just hope I got it for you fast enough. Because I know when my man gets hungry, he wants to eat right away. And that's my job, to make my man happy. [smiles]
Francis: Well... I hope so, too. And let's just hope this isn't a repeat of the last time. I mean, let's face it. That sandwich was a joke.
Piama: [quietly] Let's not turn a favor into something that you'll regret.
Francis: As a matter of fact, I think I would prefer this toasted. And I'd like to see a little garnish this time!
Piama: [quietly] And I'd like you to think about a certain special thing that you love that's never gonna happen again. [walks off]
Francis: No, honey, wait! I'm sorry!

Francis: Calm down, Ralph, it's okay. You're all right.
Piama: What happened?
Francis: The other piglets were mean to him.
Piama: Francis, you said last week you'd put that thing back in its pen.
Francis: I tried, but he's just so good-natured and sweet, the others won't let him feed. I am not putting him back in there until I teach him to be more assertive.
Piama: But we're spending every second of the day taking care of him.
Francis: Hey, no one ever said raising a pig would be easy.
Piama: No one ever said we'd be raising a pig. Listen, Francis... either you return Ralph to his pen tonight, or he's gonna be looking up at you from an omelet.

Piama: Honey, I got to get going.
Francis: You heading down to the art gallery?
Piama: It's not art!
Francis: Sorry. Heading down to the place where you sell overpriced, pretentious stuff to tourists with more money than taste?
Piama: You do listen.

Francis: Guess who's home?
Piama: What are you doing here?
Francis: I got off early. Hello, I'm Francis, Piama's husband.
Enoch: You're married?
Francis: Didn't think that was worth mentioning?
Piama: Francis, I told you... Hey, I had a life before I met you. [to Enoch] Maybe I haven't been fair to you. I mean, our relationship wasn't all bad. Remember all the tickle fights?
Enoch: Yeah, those were wild. [both laugh]
Piama: I remember, one time we were taking a bath together, and she started squirming so-
Francis: Argh! No, I don't want to hear this.
Piama: C'mon, it's a funny story, Francis, and he loves telling it, don't you, Dad?
Francis: Dad?
Piama: Yep.

Francis: Piama, where have you been?
Piama: Shopping.
Francis: You were supposed to relieve me. Do you know what time it is?
Piama: [holds up wrist] Now I do.
Francis: Where did you get the money?
Piama: I took $200 from the stash!
Francis: But that's all our money. We can't afford that.
Piama: Well, you know, it's all in the tribe.

Piama: Why are you so obsessed about the money?!
Francis: Because I wanna pay off Lavernia so we can finally get out of here.
Piama: What do you mean, get out of here? We live here!
Francis: What?! You want to spend your life in this godforsaken place?
Piama: This godforsaken place is where I grew up! It's our home. If you had a problem living here, you should have said something!
Francis: I have been complaining about this place since you've known me.
Piama: I thought you were just a complainer! You complain about everything.
Francis: Yeah, but this is real. I hate this place! I can't even imagine raising our kids here!
Piama: Kids?! I hate kids!
Francis: These seem like some pretty big issues.
Piama: Yeah.
Francis: You know, we got married so fast...
Piama: So what are we gonna do? [they kiss]

Piama: Hey, untie his hands and give him his pants back!

Lois: You know what? I didn't want to butt in, but I'm glad I did.
Hal: What did you do, Lois?
Lois: I talked to Piama. At least she seemed interested in listening to what Francis had to say. He's going to tell her exactly what I told him to say.
Piama: [enters] What business is it of yours if I don't want to wear thong underpants?
Lois: What?
Francis: Piama, I didn't get to finish.
Hal: See what happens, Lois?

Piama: Thanks for spending Christmas with my relatives.
Francis: And next year we'll do my family. Marriage is all about compromise.
Woman: [o.s.] You think this house is a pigsty? There, now it's a pigsty!
Man: [o.s.] Oh, you're real brave when I don't have my leg strapped on!
Francis: They're having all the fun. We should get in there.
Piama: Let's do it.