Lars: Richard, I've got Dennis on the phone and he heard the same thing I heard.
Richard: Well, one wrong man can always find a friend.

Richard: Rory, what a lovely party.
Rory: I brought you something to read.
Richard: Ah.
Rory: It's not The Wall Street Journal. But there's a quiz there that determines if you're a summer or a fall.
Richard: Well, I appreciate this. Thank you.

Emily: So, what's going on at school today?
Rory: Oh, I have a test in Spanish.
Richard: Are you prepared?
Rory: Oh, yeah. I like Spanish. Biology, on the other hand...
Richard: Mmm. I'm still waiting for the day when my knowledge of the inner workings of a frog's intestinal system can be applied to my work in the insurance industry.
Rory: Perhaps if you were insuring the frog.
Richard: Ah.

Richard: I'm glad not to see any death rockers on your walls.
Rory: Grandpa, where did you learn the term "death rockers"?
Richard: Well, I'm not entirely unfamiliar with the music world in which you live.
Rory: I don't exactly live in the death-rock world, Grandpa.
Richard: Good.
Rory: But if I do move there, I will send you a card.
Richard: I appreciate that.

Emily: You always drove a motorcycle before, didn't you?
Christopher: I still got it.
Richard: Oh, a family man shouldn't ride a motorcycle. The accidents I covered for the firm involving motorcycles, the worst. Grisly. They use this industrial machine to scrape the victims off the road like a huge spatula.

Richard: So, been reading anything good lately?
Rory: I'm very into P.G. Wodehouse right now.
Richard: Oh, that's great.
Rory: You?
Richard: Actually, I've had a personal triumph of late.
Rory: Oh, yeah? What?
Richard: I've just finished the sixth and final volume of The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.
Rory: That is a triumph.
Richard: I started it in 1968. So it took only - what? - 36 years to finish it. But by God, I finished it.

Emily: Well, you never said where Rory is.
Richard: Rory's not here?
Emily: Richard, you didn't even notice your own granddaughter isn't here?
Richard: Well, she's so quiet. She sometimes slips in unnoticed. She should work for the CIA.

Lorelai: [on the phone] Are you telling me that you were sitting right next to this woman while she called me?
Richard: She is my secretary, Lorelai.
Lorelai: You were sitting right there?
Richard: This is the way a proper business is conducted.
Lorelai: Two feet from the phone?
Richard: I'm not going to argue with you.

Richard: [on the phone] Please, Lorelai, can you meet me tomorrow at three o'clock or not?
Lorelai: Fine, where?
Richard: I will have Karen call you tomorrow to confirm it and tell you the place.
Lorelai: Why can't you just tell me now?
Richard: Leave me just a semblance of my structure, please.
Lorelai: Fine. I'll talk to the woman sitting right next to you tomorrow.

Rory: So how long are you going to keep him?
Richard: As long as it takes to find the owners.
Emily: Richard had to miss a half day of work yesterday.
Richard: But Emily has agreed to write a note excusing my absence, so it should be okay.