Joey: Anyway, I started on what I'm gonna say for the ceremony. You want to hear it?
Monica: Yeah.
Joey: Listen, this is just the first draft, so... "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." Eh? "It is a love based on giving and receiving as well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving, we too can share and love and have and receive."
Chandler: [to Monica] Should we call the spitter?

Phoebe: Excuse me. Is this your car?
Gary: Yeah.
Phoebe: Well, I don't think it's very nice of you to park here. You're blocking the entrance.
Gary: Don't worry about it. It's not a problem.
Phoebe: Well, it's a problem for me, which mean it's a problem for you, because I'm a cop.
Gary: So am l.
Phoebe: Oh, no. Oh, okay. So you're a cop, which means you can park anywhere. I know that, because I'm a cop too. So all right, keep up the good work. 10-4.

Monica: Richard? Hi.
Richard: Hi.
Monica: Wow. Your lip went bald.

Chandler: Okay, this is it. We're gonna get married.
Monica: You sure you wanna do this?
Ross: Hello, Mrs. Ross!
Rachel: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel!

Ross: I'm dead?
Chandler: And so young.
Ross: Posting that I died? That really isn't funny.
Chandler: Well, how you died was funny.
Ross: Oh, please. Hit by a blimp?!
Chandler: It kills over one Americans every year.

Ross: Please, Paul. Just let me explain.
Paul: No. Let me explain. Fired!
Ross: Okay, fine. Fine. Have me fired. But, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean l, too, am a "neat guy."
Paul: What?
Ross: And l, too am "just a love machine." [humming, grunts]
Paul: Ross, let me show you where the guest room is.

Chandler: So, Ross, how was your date the other night? Did you tell her about the magical ride that starts with the flush of every toilet?