Lucille Austero: Oh, Buster. You think missing her trial was an accident?
Buster: Yes.
Lucille Austero: Buster, I helped you with that.
Narrator: Although "helped" might not be the best description of what she did. In fact, she'd been laying in wait for him. And once she'd gotten Buster into the apartment, she eschewed the all-natural juice for the kind with cartoon animals and riddles on the box. The type Buster had been known to have a weakness for. And soon, the partying was off the hook, with Buster drinking right out of the box.

Narrator: The real Lupe, however, was leaving Lucille's for the evening.
Lucille Austero: Buster, I- Oh. Hello. It appears my one-time admirer is not planning some grand romantic gesture after all. You know what? It's his loss. It's his loss. It's his loss!

Narrator: This concerned Buster as he'd been secretly dating his mother's best friend and chief social rival, Lucille Austero.
Buster: Can't we just stay here and play poker again? You can bet your vertigo medicine against my anxiety pills.
Lucille Austero: No. Buster, for God's sake, there is music to hear places to go, envy to stir. Look, I'm tired of keeping our love a secret. We are going out, and that is that!
Buster: Oh. [pants]
Lucille Austero: Oh, Buster. [wobbles] Okay, I'm okay. I'm okay.

Lucille: Hello, Buster.
Buster: If you're still mad, I don't care. I'm in love.
Lucille: I actually came to ask Lucille something.
Lucille Austero: What?
Lucille: I was wondering if you'd like to play bridge with me next week?
Lucille Austero: I'd absolutely adore it. Oh, Lucille. Oh, God. Look at us, Buster. We're back together again. Lucille and Lucille.
Buster: You guys are friends again. You can play bridge together. [squeals] Could you just- just separate? [whimpers]

Narrator: Michael knew if he had any chance of getting control of the company again, he would need to charm Lucille 2.
Michael: Lucille 2.
Lucille Austero: Your hair!
Michael: Can I take you for a spin?
Narrator: But the spin in Michael's new car retriggered her vertigo.

Michael: And I do not blame you for not liking the Bluths anymore.
Lucille Austero: Like the Bluths? I love the Bluths.
Michael: Why did you buy up all of our company stock?
Lucille Austero: To support you guys. I have always had a standing order to buy up any available Bluth stock.
Michael: You do know that we're about 2,000 shares short of controlling the company now.
Lucille Austero: Well, you could have some of mine.
Michael: Really? Would you do that?
Lucille Austero: Yeah, of course.
Michael: Well, that's- Thank you.
Lucille Austero: Actually, there is a condition.
Michael: Anything.
Lucille Austero: Call me a cab.
Michael: Ah, because of my driving.

Lucille Austero: [sings] Why don't you go away, go away Get away, get away, stay away You're hopelessly hopeless... Good bird. Stop it, chicken! Somebody help!

Lucille Austero: Oh, speaking of, do you mind if I go through your couch cushions? Oh, honey, I wish you'd take the rest of this tres leches cake. It's from a dear Hispanic supporter. And I'll never get it into the bay in one piece.

Narrator: And she decided the best way to get back at her mother and Herbert Love was by working for their mutual rival.
Lindsay: Lucille 2. I've got great news. I'm finally available to become your campaign manager.
Lucille Austero: Oh, that's lovely, dear. But I found someone more qualified than you.
Sally Sitwell: Hello, Lindsay.
Lindsay: Sally.
Narrator: It was Sally Sitwell, a woman who'd long been Lindsay's rival.
Sally Sitwell: It's been a while.
Lindsay: Mmm. How is she more qualified than me?
Lucille Austero: She has integrity. And look at this hair. Look at this beautiful, long hair.

Lucille Austero: Buster! Hello.
Buster: Hello to you, too, 2. Look at all this produce.
Lucille Austero: I'm juicing now. Would you like to join me?
Buster: It's 2:00 in the afternoon.
Lucille Austero: Honey, it's 8:00 a.m. somewhere. Oh, I forgot. Your mother wouldn't allow it.
Buster: I don't care what she wants. [quietly] Don't care what she wants. I don't do everything she tells me. Let's get juiced.