208. Queen for a Day
Aired January 23, 2005
After the company stock is unfrozen, Michael trims his holdings to buy a new car while urging his family members not to sell.
Quote from Gob
Gob: That's right, Michael. Guess who just got fired.
Narrator: Gob was recently hired by the Bluth Company's rival Sitwell Enterprises. And although he started off well-
Gob: Fifty-two percent of the country is single. That's a market that's been dominated by apartment rentals. Let's take some of that market. I call it Single City.
Narrator: His ideas failed to evolve.
Gob: It's like, "Hey, you wanna go down to the whirlpool?" "Yeah. I don't have a husband." I call it Swing City.
Stan Sitwell: Let's get into some new areas, if you don't mind.
Narrator: But Gob continued to fine-tune his first one.
Gob: How do we filter out the teases? We don't let them in. This goes for the guys too because sometimes the guys are tapped out. But check your lease, man, because you're livin' in [bleep] City.
Stan Sitwell: You're fired.
Quote from George Sr.
George Sr.: Oh, thank God you're here. I'm going crazy with the boredom, Michael. At least in prison, we had knife fights, and we had movie night. And once both. Those men did not enjoy Soapdish. I think you have to know that world.
Quote from Michael
Michael: Yeah, listen, did you buy a company car for everyone in the family except me?
George Sr.: Well, according to the books, I gave you four.
Michael: I'm serious. I'm driving a staircase, for God's sake. It smells like gas. I get hop-ons.
George Sr.: Well, of course you're gonna get- You're gonna get hop-ons.
Michael: I pull down banners, all right? And most importantly, Dad, my son does not like to be seen in it.
George Sr.: But he likes being seen with that girl.
Michael: It makes no sense, I know.
Quote from Lucille
Lucille: [on the phone] Is it true, Michael? Did we lose the company?
Michael: Kind of. To something called Standpoor. Yeah, it's Sitwell.
Lucille: It's Lucille Austero.
Michael: Lucille 2?
Lucille: Standpoor, because she can't stand up without falling over. I don't know why she'd have any trouble. A piano could stand on those legs. She's trying to get even with me for the remodeling.
Quote from Buster
Buster: Mom's becoming a little controlling.
Michael: What tripped you off? When she locked you out on the balcony again?
Buster: That was half my fault. I thought I saw a graham cracker out there.
Michael: You baited the balcony?
Lucille: Prove it.
Quote from George Michael
Narrator: George Michael was getting ready for school when he came across a box of love letters he'd written but never sent to his cousin Maeby. One letter titled "If You Weren't My Cousin," was particularly incriminating.
Michael: Hey, pal, you want a ride to school?
George Michael: Um, no. Actually, I'm- I'm riding with the Veals, Ann's parents.
Michael: Oh. You don't need to be penned up with them. I'll drive you both. We'll take the stairs.
George Michael: Right. Here's the thing though. It's kind of cramped in there. Plus, a lot of kids are still talking about when you took down that homecoming banner.
Michael: Listen, are you embarrassed to be seen in that car?
George Michael: It's not a car. But- But, no.
Quote from Maeby
Narrator: George Michael decided to hide the love letters in the attic, although Maeby had her own problems. After lying about her age she had conned her way into a job as a movie studio executive.
Mort Meyers: Did you get the stack of scripts that I sent you? 'Cause you certainly look well-rested.
Maeby: Marry me.
Mort Meyers: Ha! I need your notes on those tomorrow. Wanna have a drink?
Maeby: Yeah. Why don't we ask your wife to come with us?
Mort Meyers: Okay, then. I'll see you tomorrow.
Quote from Buster
Narrator: And downstairs, Buster paid a visit.
Buster: Hey, Brother. I need a favor.
Michael: Of course you do.
Buster: I'm on furlough this week, and everybody's out dancing with their girl, and I'm home sitting with Mom.
Michael: Mom doesn't wanna go dancing?
Buster: I think the age difference is really starting to catch up to us.
Michael: Maybe it's time you got out there and started meeting people, you know? Meetin' women. Meetin' women who didn't give birth to you.
Quote from Tobias
Buster: Maybe you could go with me.
Michael: Yeah, that's not really what I meant. I have a very busy schedule now.
Tobias: My schedule, however, is as open as my relationship with my wife. So why don't we pair up? And- And hit the town together.
Tobias: I'll be your wingman. [chuckles] Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.
Michael: Boy, that's enough family stuff for today.
Quote from Gob
Gob: So get this. I took his dress eyebrows.
Narrator: Sitwell suffered from a disease that rendered him completely hairless.
Michael: He's not gonna be happy about that.
Gob: No, especially when he goes to the opera with two mustaches on his forehead.