Narrator: Scandalmakers was a show that reenacted headline-grabbing stories. The latest was about the Bluth family, the rights of which had been signed away by Tobias in exchange for the part of George Sr.
TV Narrator: When allegations surfaced he'd illegally built homes in Iraq George Bluth Sr., assisted by his secretary, Kitty escaped the country.
Narrator: Due to poor acting, the burden of the story was placed on the narrator.
TV Narrator: Only to be found hiding under one of the homes that he built.
Narrator: He was actually found in a hole near the house, but this inattention to detail was typical of the laziness the show's narrator was known for.
George Sr. actor: I can't survive under the house. Perhaps an attic shall I seek.
Narrator: Real shoddy narrating. Just pure crap.

Narrator: Restless, Buster went to the kitchen to find something to help him sleep when he came across Lucille's emergency stash of wine-
Buster: Motherlode.
Narrator: ...which he mistook for a giant juice box. It was the first taste of alcohol Buster had since he was nursing.

[flashback:]
Young Lucille: We should start our own holiday.
Narrator: You see, the Hispanics of Newport liked Cinco a lot, but high up on Coast Highway, Lucille Bluth did not.
Young George Sr.: Doesn't look like they'll be done any time soon.
Narrator: And then Lucille had a horrible thought, a thought that was thoughtless and better to not. "What if," she thought with a sneering grin...
Young Lucille: Next year, what if the party didn't even begin?

Narrator: It was Arrested Development. On the epilogue, Michael wakes up to another strange bedfellow after his first night at sea.
George Sr.: How was the party?
Narrator: And Maeby pitches her TV show to a Hollywood icon who says...
Ron Howard: No, I, uh... I don't see it as a series. Maybe a movie.

Narrator: Michael Bluth was taking his son to an interview at the prestigious Milford School, an institution once famous for its credo that children should be "neither seen nor heard."

Michael: Dad, we're going to go in there, Andy Griffith's going to whisper something, we're going to plead guilty, nice and simple.
George Sr.: You didn't hear, we lost Andy.
Michael: What? What are you talking about?
George Sr.: He didn't like his trailer.
Lindsay: He thought we were making fun of him.
Narrator: No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough.

Narrator: It turned out Lucille had returned to shore, too.
John Beard: [on TV] Why the alleged ship-jacker changed direction is still unexplained.
Narrator: And soon the family met up at the beginning of a fourth season... that would never come.

Narrator: She was the best villain casting since Shirley MacLaine in Gangie 4.

George Michael: But, you know, I'm actually I'm glad to have a moment alone with you, because it gives us a chance to talk about us. You know, I really care about you.
Maeby: Oh, boy, here we go. You want to get more serious.
Narrator: And Maeby didn't because... And I never told you this, but George Michael wasn't a very good kisser. It seems he both used his tongue to fend off the intruding tongue, but also laterally moved his lower jaw while constricting his lower lip. The upper lip, meanwhile, tended to retract, revealing an exposed area from the front teeth to the canines, ultimately creating more pain than pleasure. Really just rookie mistakes, but all of it conspired to make Maeby concerned about him wanting to get more serious.

Narrator: As children, George Sr. would often provoke the boys to fight one another.
George Sr.: [o.s.] He's calling you a liar.
Young Gob: I don't want your cards, Michael!
Narrator: He believed it created a competitive spirit, which equipped them for the challenges of life.
George Sr.: [o.s.] Let's keep it in frame.
Narrator: He also believed footage of the tussles would be a big hit in the burgeoning home video market. He soon franchised the concept with such titles as: Boyfights 2, A Boyfights Cookout, and Backseat Boyfights: The Trip to Uncle Jack's 70th.