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‘In God We Trust’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Arrested Development: In God We Trust

107. In God We Trust

Aired December 14, 2003

Michael and Lindsay try to get their father out of prison for the day so he can see Lucille on a date with their lawyer Barry Zuckerkorn (Henry Winkler). Meanwhile, George Michael is nervous about appearing in a living art exhibition.

Quote from Lindsay

Michael: You guys were not sharing a bedroom before?
Lindsay: Well, the cutoffs aren't exactly a turn-on.
Michael: Yeah. What's the deal with the cutoffs?
Lindsay: You've got to promise not to tell anyone this.
Michael: Okay.
Lindsay: He's a never-nude.
Michael: Is that exactly what it sounds like?


Quote from Tobias

Narrator: Tobias suffered a rare psychological affliction of never being able to be completely naked.
[flashback to Tobias emerging from a dressing room:]
Tobias: Excuse me. Do these effectively hide my thunder?
[flashback to Tobias in a doctor's office:]
Proctologist: Oh, I'm sorry. No, I need you to be completely undressed.
Tobias: I am completely undressed.
Michael: I thought he just liked cutoffs.
Lindsay: Me too.

Quote from Lindsay

Narrator: Michael and Lindsay proceeded to drink and air their grievances about their mother.
Lindsay: She's always trying to get me to admit that my marriage isn't working.
Michael: And how's it going with you and Tobias?
Lindsay: It's not working.

Quote from Gob

Narrator: Maeby's parents didn't find the ticket, but Gob did.
Gob: "Portugal."
Narrator: ...which confirmed his suspicions.
Gob: Gonna live it up down old South America way, huh, Mikey?

Quote from Gob

Gob: Michael, I'm onto you. The Spanish lessons, the lawyer. If you're heading for Portugal, it's due south!

Quote from Barry Zuckerkorn

Narrator: And Michael was forced to, once again call in the counsel of Barry Zuckerkorn.
George Sr.: Thank you. Thank you for coming down on Christmas Eve.
Barry: Oh, it's like any other day, except that I bill double.

Quote from Michael

Michael: Where is all this coming from? I thought we were getting along.
Lindsay: Yeah, so did I. And now I hear you're telling our mother that I'm completely irresponsible and a stay-in-bed mom.
Michael: That doesn't even sound like me. That sounds like Mom or Bruce Vilanch. Could be Bruce Vilanch.
Lindsay: Then why would she say it?
Michael: Because we're getting along.
Lindsay: Because we're friends again.
Michael: You gotta remember Mom typically has nothing in her system except a bottle of vodka and an estrogen pill.

Quote from George Michael

Narrator: And George Michael was trying to pass as a more muscular boy than he actually was.
George Michael: One hundred.
Maeby: One hundred? I had you at 10.
George Michael: I did some earlier in the day. It's a running total. So what's with the suitcase?
Maeby: It's a little test to get my parents to notice me. You ever get the feeling like no one even sees you?
George Michael: I've got a really good body, so no.

Quote from Lucille

Michael: I gave that money to Lindsay to pay off her credit card debt.
Lucille: What'd she do, get you drunk?
Michael: No, we just, uh, well... We did drink a little bit. How'd you know that?
Lucille: Because that's what she said she'd do. I said you wouldn't give her the money, and she said, "He will if I get him drunk." Probably because she thinks you're a cheap bastard. Oh. Her words.
Michael: She set me up? All that stuff about her marital troubles and Tobias being a never-nude?
Lucille: A never-nude? I thought he just liked cutoffs.

Quote from Maeby

Narrator: Maeby, too, continued to try to teach her parents a lesson.
Maeby: Okay, so I printed the fake airline ticket from my computer. If my parents miss this, I really might go to South America.
George Michael: That says "Portugal."
Maeby: That's right.

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