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‘Red Hairing’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Arrested Development: Red Hairing

408. Red Hairing

Aired May 26, 2013

Lindsay and her new boyfriend Marky Bark (Chris Diamontopoulos) try to bring down the political campaign of Herbert Love (Terry Crews).

Quote from Michael

Narrator: Michael decided to head George Michael off before he could get to the club's lobby with a small lie.
Michael: [on the phone] Hey, buddy, it's Dad. Um, I am having real trouble getting up there. This traffic is unbelievable.
Narrator: Which led to a slightly bigger lie.
Michael: We got a light aircraft right in the middle of the freeway. You know?
Narrator: And then some effort to make it foolproof.
Michael: And the kicker is that there's no news crew. I mean, I guess they can't get in either 'cause of the traffic, so no one's going to be able to see this.
Narrator: But perhaps, had Michael not have lied, he wouldn't have felt suspicious when, moments later, he received a return call from his son...
George Michael: You know what? I bet we're sitting in the exact same traffic. This is a mess.
Narrator: ...canceling the get-together entirely.
George Michael: Oh, God, they're forcing us off. They're closing the lanes.

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Quote from Lindsay

Narrator: Even though it was only 100 miles from her hometown of Newport Beach, the desert created a whole new value system for Lindsay Bluth.
Lindsay: I'd give $20,000 for a lemonade right now.
Narrator: For the most part.

Quote from Lucille Austero

Narrator: Because Lindsay could only spend so many hours with a shrill, feathered creature
Lucille Austero: [squawks] You look marvelous in that! Look.
Lindsay: I can't believe how I've missed the feel of anything that isn't hemp.
Lucille Austero: And try this on. Isn't that funny? I used to wear that with the Captain. And I was...
Lindsay: Tennille?
Lucille Austero: And not make eye contact, yes! Oh, what am I gonna do, cut it down for my foster child?
Narrator: That is what she wanted to do, until he threatened to call Social Services.

Quote from Lindsay

Marky Bark: I knew you wouldn't be on board with this, Lindsay. I'm sorry to say this, but you are losing your passion.
Lucille: What passion?
Marky Bark: Oh.
Lindsay: You don't even look at me. I don't know if I've said this before, it's not important or anything but I'm really, really pretty.
Marky Bark: I'm the straightest guy you know!
Lindsay: Why does every man feel like they have to say that to me?

Quote from Lucille

Lindsay: Ooh, a Neiman's catalog.
Narrator: But it was what she found stuck inside the catalog that got her attention. And that's when she found the mother lode.
Lindsay: "From Gangie for facelift." What a load of... Mother.
Narrator: And this time, she did make a court appearance.
Lucille: Cheryl, you've got no backhand! I'm working the whole court, and you keep hitting the balls [bleep] high. Oh, great, looks like we've got another high-end hooker in here.
Lindsay: Oh, thank you, Mother.

Quote from Lucille

Lindsay: I want to talk to you about a check for plastic surgery.
Lucille: I already wrote you a check for that.
Narrator: Lucille had, back when Lindsay thought she was only 12 years old.
[flashback:]
Young Lucille: New nose.
Narrator: Worrying it would hurt her daughter's feelings...
Young Lucille: Put a "Y" on there.
Narrator: ...she put a fun spin on it.
Young Lucille: "Nosy."
[present:]
Lucille: And you should be thanking me for that. You looked like a can opener.

Quote from Lucille

Lindsay: No, a check for my daughter. She's gorgeous. And I love her just the way she is.
Lucille: When was the last time you saw her?
Lindsay: She's been living with her father the past year, and it's been... Really hard.
Lucille: I'll be out on parole by the time you work up a tear.

Quote from Lucille

Lucille: What makes you think I wrote a check to your daughter, nosy?
Lindsay: It came to the penthouse.
Lucille: Well, well. Little Miss Lives-Off-the-Land is living in my penthouse.
Lindsay: Okay, so you figured it out, Gene Parmesan.
Lucille: Just goes to show, the apple does not far from the tree fall.
Lindsay: I am like you nothing. You're not even my real mother. I am a political activist.
Lucille: Oh, you're a lot more like me than you know, sister. Except I can back up my bad choices. I'm doing hard time.
Prison Guard: Your 3:00 p.m. hot rock massage is open.

Quote from Lindsay

Narrator: Lindsay andher boyfriend Marky arrived in, get this, Beverly Hills to prepare for their act of glittery social protest. But Lindsay was having second thoughts.
Lindsay: Marky, look, um, I have this check that my mother wrote for my daughter. It can buy us a lot of leaflets against Love. And also a lot of Nature's Miracle. There's a huge sale going on right now at Petco.

Quote from Lindsay

Maeby: I thought you were supposed to be sticking it to the man, not the other way around.
Lindsay: Maeby. You think he likes me that way?
Maeby: No, Mom, that's Herbert Love, the man you're here to protest.
Herbert Love: [to TV cameras] And I hear the guy with the bomb snuck up here from Mexico. That's why I say, we have got to build a wall between us and Mexico.
Lindsay: Oh, no.
Maeby: How could you not recognize him?
Narrator: In fairness to Lindsay, it was Marky's face-blindness that led him to mistake this photo for the candidate. Why Lindsay failed to recognize musical icon Nat King Cole cannot be explained.

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