Lucille: His name is Dustin Radler, and I haven't hired him, because technically, he's given up the rat race.
George Sr.: Oh, God, the "giving up the rat race" guy? This is the sand hobo? Uh, it's just a question. Are you guys doing something?
Lucille: [inhales]
Gob: Don't say it! Please, I can't I can't hear it.
Lucille: He tickles my fancy.
Gob: Your what? Is the- What part of Mom is the fancy? You do not want to know what I'm picturing, and it's not what you think.
Lucille: Oh, stop. We walk on the beach. We like the feel of the sand on our feet.
Gob: Oh, God, the thought of your feet.
George Sr.: It's fine. I'm glad you have someone to talk to. Well, maybe I'll go check on Buster.
Gob: Wow. Mom really has him fancy-whipped, huh?

Michael: So I thought you might want to read it seeing as how you are the president now, even though it's just a title.
Gob: Uh, right. Yes, well we should "circumvrent" union penalties.
Michael: Circumvent.
Gob: "Circumverate."
Michael: Circumvent. Means to go around.
Gob: The old reach around.
Michael: Trust me. This makes you look like a leader. Okay?
Gob: I don't think that I need any help with that. [framed "Never Give Up" inspirational poster falls from the wall and smashes] [bleep] it. Just leave it where it is.

Narrator: Michael came home upset that his one-night stand wasn't over.
Gob: You should have stayed with me last night. You could have seen me get some major action from a major blonde who just majored in marine biology, if you know what I mean.
Michael: I don't know what you mean. I can't imagine what that means.

Michael: Hey, whoa, whoa, was that Dad?
Gob: Yeah, I had to, uh, jump off.
Michael: You just had Dad on the phone? Where was he?
Gob: No way to tell, really. Portugal. Down South America way.

Michael: We'll do it your way. I'm just here to have fun.
Gob: Not too much fun, all right? I already gave my big sexual harassment speech today.
[flashback:]
Gob: And please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep]- Or- Or finger- [bleep] Or [bleep] fisting Or [bleep] Or even [bleep], even though so many people in this office are begging for it. And if anybody does anything with my sister, Lindsay I'll take off my pants, I'll shave [bleep] and I'll personally [bleep].

Gob: A young neighborhood tough by the name of Steve Holt's gonna be here any minute.
Michael: Your son.
Gob: According to him.
Michael: And a DNA test.
Gob: I heard the jury's still out on science.

Narrator: Gob was waiting to meet his son at a bar and feeling a little vulnerable.
Gob: Lost my wife, lost my career. When I was in that storage unit at the bottom of that rock, it was like I hit...
Steve Holt: Rock bottom?
Gob: No, no, not that. More like a trending downward moment that just I don't know. Maybe I'm being tested like that guy "Jawb" from the Bible.
Bartender: Job.
Gob: Yes?
Bartender: Job.
Gob: Yes, sir.
Bartender: Job.
Gob: Yeah.

Gob: I've met someone. Can't really give you any information. Kind of famous-y.
Michael: I also met someone. Also famous-y.
Gob: Have you?
Michael: Can't give you any information.
Gob: Is it Julie Bowen?
Michael: No, it's not. Is yours Julie Bowen?
Gob: Is yours Julie- Oh, my God, Michael, you're seeing Julie Bowen?
Michael: I am not seeing Julie Bowen, but if you are, you tell me right now.
Gob: I want to hear you say the words, "I'm not seeing Julie Bowen."
Michael: I have not seen Julie Bowen.
Gob: Well, that's a funny way to phrase it.

Gob: Blah, blah, blah. Look at this.
Michael: What's that mean? You're not gonna sign it?
Gob: No. I was just thinking that I should have my attorney Bob Loblaw look at this.

Gob: [laughs] Did you catch this? Man, that's priceless. First, you eat it with Buster, then you step in it with the movie, and now you're eating what you stepped in, because Kitty hates you. Guess Michael's the geo-bead today.
Michael: Did you say "geo-bead"?
Gob: Yeah, it's one of Dad's expressions- You know, when somebody screws up, that Dad always said it. One of his "you'll figure it out someday" expressions. You're lucky, 'cause Kitty's sweet on me, so I'll go with you.
Michael: No, thank you. Nope.
Tobias: I could go. Or just- Would that be helpful if I did? Or am I just being a G-O-B?
Gob: [chuckles] Uh... [scoffs] G-O-B spells "Gob," you geo-bead, so why don't you s... ah. Well, today's the day.